Profile For JEREMY H.

My experience is that women have to deal with alot more harassment on the road than in many other professions. Thankfully drivers can't get away with near as much harassment as they used to but it's still a problem in this industry.

It's still a problem in most industries. You see this same discussion in computer science, physics, in the military, certainly in restaurants as Brandie W. reports. The only place I've ever not seen it is in the Postal Service.

It's also not a problem everyone is suited to contemplate, which is why we have people who dismiss it out of hand. But I don't think that's really the intent when people deny the situation. Everyone knows that thousands upon thousands of years of historical tradition can't be overcome in a century of modern sociology and medicine.

I think what people like Big Scott really mean to say is that if you can hack it, you'll be respected. It's his way of encouragement. And I'm posting this not just for my wife to read here later, but with future readers in mind. His intent is clear and appreciated.

There is no such thing as an illegal opinion. You don't have to agree with someone's opinion.

Oh, for sure! But an opinion can become policy when spoken by the right entity, under the right context. And a company's opinion is policy. What I was pointing out is that if a company made it their policy that no parents can do a job, and that just happened to only come out when considering the employment of mothers, then that would run afoul of Title VII of the Civil Rights Act. We as individuals can have whatever opinion we want, but in the context of a company's actions it takes on a different flavor.

The issue isn't that she was called stupid in so many words. It's that the guy was calling her stupid instead of training her.

I disagree. That's a huge issue. You're saying, on a public forum, that a trainer at Prime called your wife stupid and that Prime turned a blind eye to it because she's not a "butch" female and she's older. If I Google prime and this is the second thing that comes up under their company site, I'd say I'm not interested in working there and I'll tell other people why I'm not interested in working there and that's how things spread. Now multiply that by how many people visit this site.

This just made us both nervous because it's a world apart from how things work elsewhere

This is key and what you both need to understand. This isn't like anything you've ever done and Prime didn't just start training recently. Put the personal feelings aside and do what you need to do.

If you're a trainer, it's your job to train. If you flat don't, then you're being paid for a job you're not doing.

This goes with what I've said above. As you've heard from others,. There is no hand holding here. My trainer explained the mechanics of shifting, steering and oversteering and told me to have at it. My experience falls in line with how most people on this site learned. Do you know how many days I felt like quitting? All of them. It's stressful and frustrating, but worth it.

Drill sergeants call you stupid too.

It's either, "Suck it up and deal," or it's, "This isn't okay and Prime is more professional than this." It can't be both.

And yes, this is unlike anything we've ever done. That's why I asked for advice here before putting my foot in my mouth giving her advice. And it's why I'm trying to entertain a different perspective.

But as for a verbal explanation of how to shift, followed by being thrown to the wolves, you're wrong. Every single one of the other trainees in her group have had their "hand held". That is to say, they've been guided through smaller practice maneuvers with the truck and built up to getting on the road. Nobody wants people to be thrown behind the controls of 18 wheels of rolling death and told they won't have their hand held.

If your attitude about training is right, then Prime and every other company offering training by contract or tuition is running a scam. I don't think they are. I think drivers are trained because they can't just teach themselves. Anyone can find a verbal explanation of how to work mechanical controls without having to pay anyone for it. If the training provided has any value at all, then it has to offer more than what I could find with a few minutes on Google.

Furthermore, I really doubt a megacarrier attains that status by paying trainers not to handhold. Trainers are paid good money on top of their usual mileage, so unless the trucking industry is less careful with capital than every other industry on the planet, they're expected to provide a service of equitable value.

And for every single one of the other trainees who showed up to Prime with her, it has.

Since Ashley registered, I'm leaving this thread in her hands. But I wanted to drop in and thank everyone because you guys are truly awesome. And to clarify, she isn't having trouble with pretrip at all. If anything, she has overtrained it because it's the only thing she can train until she has a trainer -- who will actually train her.

Everyone else in her group is departing in the next couple days to go OTR for two weeks. She's still wandering around relearning material she now has memorized. The issue isn't that she was called stupid in so many words. It's that the guy was calling her stupid instead of training her.

Hopefully she'll have a new trainer soon. In that case, it will have all been for the best. Better to discover it won't work before the get out on the road, for sure. And as he wasn't doing his job at the pad, he surely wouldn't have out there either.

This just made us both nervous because it's a world apart from how things work elsewhere. I can't think of any kind of training I've ever done or heard of where a trainer can just flake out and it's okay. From the Army, to the university, the USPS, any restaurant my dad was a chef at, programming boot camps. Anywhere. This is basic. If you're a trainer, it's your job to train. If you flat don't, then you're being paid for a job you're not doing.

One, there is nothing wrong with a trainer asking a student to watch specific YouTube videos. I have shared some to help my students. I think you and your wife may have overreacted. She spoke to someone who said they would find her another trainer. Give that time. Sometimes one must wait for a trainer. There is no handholding in trucking. This is an industry for independent people.

Two, if there are young, under 18, kids at home, she needs to be there. Sorry if that offends anyone. Children need two parents.

1. There IS something wrong with using YouTube as a substitute for training. That's not the same as asking for a video to be watched.

2. We are NOT overreacting by wanting her properly trained when her life and others' will depend upon it and she'll ultimately be paying for it too.

3. Your opinion about how households other than yours run doesn't matter. It's none of your business, and echoed by a company your opinion would be illegal.

Contact- truckin along with kearsey- She works at Prime, has clout there, and has helped others. Go to her profile here, then pick the contact link.

Please don't do this. Kearsey is absolutely wonderful and has helped so many of us. Unfortunately now is not the time. She's going through a really rough time currently after losing her mother and likely doesn't have the time or energy (check her latest YouTube video). She's helped so many of us, its only right we help her when she needs it.

Hopefully someone with direct knowledge of Prime can point you in the direction of who to talk to. I've often seen people mention a higher up guy named Stan when there has been issues with trainers. Kearsey had posted something a while back about Prime having the highest percentage of women drivers so discrimination is highly unlikely. I'm not trying to pass the blame but is it possible she hasn't told you everything? Often times when someone is struggling greatly they want to pass the blame to save face. Many trainers do it for the wrong reasons (extra money) and its probably a good thing she won't have to deal with that guy.

I already emailed her before seeing this 😬

But I didn't give her my ol' lady's contact info, and won't take any offense if she just doesn't reply. Hopefully she'll just miss it in her inbox.

My thoughts are to tell her to contact human resources, but I want to be sure it's the right advice.

She's a trainee at Prime, already cleared and badged. Everyone who came in with her is out daily driving locally with their trainer. And she was assigned a trainer too. Here's how it went.

He never started training her. He told her to get on YouTube and watch videos. She has been going to practice pre-trip inspections with whoever she can because for the last few days, that has been the only training available to her while her assigned trainer did who-knows-what. She is the only one who hasn't actually getting trained -- at all.

When her trainer took her on the tour, he made a few weird statements. He told her she'd have to leave everything -- everything! -- she brought in a locker when they go OTR, and that it'll be gone in 60 days. He told her not to keep her cellphone in her pocket, and listed things she wouldn't be allowed to eat or drink. This obviously creeped her out, seeing as she just met this man and was looking at the prospect of getting in a truck with him.

When he told her to watch Youtube videos, she contacted me and said that isn't how everyone else is training. So, I advised her to tell him she doesn't learn that way -- a polite and respectful hint that maybe he should do his damn job. He told her she "doesn't have the brain muscle" to learn.

She asked around about who to talk to, and I don't know the guy's title, but ended up trying to explain the situation to the next guy up the ladder. She never got as far as saying that she isn't being trained before he seized on her mention of basically being called stupid and made the entire meeting about her feelings. She got shut down, and told she'd meet with him and her trainer this morning.

So she shows up to that meeting and again never gets to state that she flat out wasn't being trained by her trainer at all. First she's informed he and her trainer had talked the night before. The next-guy-up cut her off when she began, and asked if this is the right time for her to do this. He brought up her family, the hurricane that's not even hitting us, and heavily implied she should be at home being momma. Before any talk about any of this could happen, the next-guy-up said he wanted to see if she and her trainer could "work this out," and her trainer said, "Nope!" without hesitation. The impression I get is that it was planned.

He then asked if he could pick his trainee. Asking that in front of her was obviously meant to say he doesn't like her. The next-guy-up said he'd try to find her a new trainer tomorrow. I don't know if I believe him.

Now, here are a few other details. She passed her permit test having studied on her own before she went to Prime. With a trainer flat not doing his job AT. ALL. she has taken initiative to seek out opportunities to learn and practice whatever she can. She is motivated, capable, and doing everything she is supposed to.

She's also the only heterosexual female in her group who isn't youthful. The other women are gay and in her words butch, or young and single. So the impression that I'm getting is that she doesn't come across like one of the guys, and she isn't some pretty young thing to stare at. I think they're discouraging her, going through the motions to make it look like they're doing what they're supposed to, and probably won't even try to do their actual job. I think they're trying to push her back home and into the kitchen.

The other women in her group backed her up every step of the way in this, and have already said they're glad she got away from that trainer.

There is no reason whatsoever for what they're doing that I can think of aside from discrimination. I hold a degree in physics. I've studied alongside NASA scholars. I've never seen someone as motivated nor taking as much initiative to learn as she is right now. In the military, I was happy to have soldiers under my leadership who did what they're supposed to like she is now. There is not a shred of legitimacy to their steamrolling her in the meeting or giving her a trainer who only pretended to take her under his wing.

But I don't want to give her bad advice. I'm not a trucker. This isn't my industry. There could be things I don't know about how training goes down. So what do you guys think? Should she contact HR? Wait and see what the next-guy-up does?