Profile For RebelliousVamp

G-town...my "emotional response", asides from the tears (that I hid well, didn't do that in front of anyone, and it wasn't full blown crying, just tears rolling down from my eyes tearing up), was not as bad as you think it might have been, and actually no different than some of the other guys who were effing up their maneuvers. It's not like I'd get angry and start slamming the truck door, or be rude to people, or have a mental breakdown.

However, I will give you that...I AM hard on myself. Probably more than most. It's aggravating. This comes from years of being told by some people in my life that I'm not good enough. And I guess I came to believing it. So at this point in my life, I have the unbearable feeling that I have to prove myself to these people, and well...myself included. I k ow I have to find a way to allow myself to make errors and agree that "it's ok". It's just really...really hard. Maybe the upside of this is that I will always strive to do my very best, and in trucking...I think it's important.

Alright...so here goes. Sunday was the "test drive" at private school, to see where each one of us is at. We went in order of who got there first in the morning; I showed up at 7:30, there was two classmates who beat me to it, so I was third to test. It started bad for me. First maneuver was lane change, finished with straight backing. It all went perfectly fine, until the end...I did my first get out to go check behind my trailer to see how far I still had to back up to have my ICC bumper in the red box. 2 feet. Ok, I take mental note of markers on the ground to give me that two feet....I back up.....one ****ing inch too many. I get out again, my ICC number is barely touching the freakin white line...but it is touching it. FAIL. Being the perfectionist that I am...and not expecting to fail THAT one, it threw me off real hard, messing up my head. I was ****ed. Second maneuver....blindside parallel park. I got this. Yup. Except....I practice maybe once, weeks ago, with an instructor guiding me, how to correct it when you have MORE than two cones and half. I've done correcting of LESS than two cones and half plenty of times, but not the other way around. Here I am, stuck, with more than 3 friggin cones. I have no clue what to do. I sit there trying to think the logical way to correct this. I know I have to pull up....but I don't know where to steer after that. I'm ****ed. I get out of the truck, throw my arms up in the air, tell my instructor I never got the chance to practice correcting more than...he explains me how to do it. I'm so shaken up at that point, my eyes are tearing up, and I ask him if I can just do it over later....I'm THIS CLOSE to walking away from the truck. Then my pride takes over and I get back in that truck. I fix this effin maneuver....but then I got no space to do a pull up in my box, end up with mud flap on the line. **** my life. I'm in the truck and the tears are rolling down. I've done these maneuvers like a champ, and now I'm effin it up. Now I go set up for sight side parallel park. Aced it. Then alley dock, aced it. The two hardest maneuvers that I usually have a harder time with are the ones I passed. The two guys who went before me, they're good. They failed the ones I passed. Go figure??

Then I'm off to test on pre-trip. Aced it at 99%....only thing I kinda did wrong was in cab inspection with the initial timing of the oil pressure going up to 30 within 10 seconds...he said I wasn't looking down at my watch to time the 10 seconds at an appropriate time. Then came the air brakes test. I failed. Know why? Because I forgot to take the damn key in my pocket when I exited the truck!! My instructor was like "V!! Wtf?! You had everything pinned down to pass and you forgot the key!?" Ugh!!!!

Then came the road test.....again, same bull****. I failed because of ONE tiny little mistake.....I missed one gear while downshifting to stop at a red light. Wtf?! Everything else was great, speed limit, bridges, turns, upshift, downshift.... *shake my head*

Although my instructors were happy with me, and told me I did very good...I left to go home very frustrated at myself. I could have passed those maneuvers, if I could have avoided those tiny mistakes.

PS...for those who were wondering....I'm still alive and pursuing this new career change. Private message me if you want to know what I've been up to. :)

Thank you everyone.

Ya, seems like it. I'll make the best of it. And my instructors are good. I shouldn't worry too much. Another of my faults....I worry a lot.

Private school was more convenient for me, as I needed to keep my job so I could keep paying my bills. Going to company sponsored training, I wasn't sure I'd get any money to pay my bills, and didn't like the idea of having to sign a long term contract. I can however see that this is a better option for many, mainly because not everyone can fork thousands of dollars right off the bat. So going to company sponsored CDL is a great option for many.

What kind of physical work is required to haul cars/SUV's that are delivered to dealerships?

Ya...I couldn't find a community college offering it either.

Old School; I am VERY interested to know how you manage your clock. Please share, if you have time. When I'll be driving, I want to make full use of the time I am supposed to WORK. Meaning, driving, on duty/not driving, etc. What I'd LOVE to learn how to do efficiently is to maximize the time I can haul a load for my employer, without sacrificing my very well needed 8 hours of sleep AND a shower, *hopefully* as close as possible to one shower a day. YES, showering to me is more important than making a few extra dollars. I just know how crabby I get otherwise. I will manage with an alternative whenever I cannot shower. For example, how do you go at it when you're just sitting at a shipper/receiver and they tell you that it may take a couple hours or more? Go off duty in your sleeper and take a few zzz's so you can be rested and keep going when they're done with you? It will greatly help when I can see an example on paper of how a "clock" works. :)

I'm still interested to hear about others experiences with private schools.

Ok :)