Profile For Jenny G.

Let me tell you something, Jenny. If I had been that woman he was giving a ride to, when I would have come out of his truck and see the distress it was causing you, I would have been jumping in and not been afraid to reassure you that there was nothing going on. I would have been giving you an explanation as to why I asked your "good man" for a ride and needed his help. I wouldn't have been hiding, and wouldn't have let the poor guy fend for himself trying to reassure you. That's what an honest woman in need would have done. Instead, she hid and didn't say a darn word, when she clearly saw the trouble it was causing.

Sometimes men can be a little "dumb" (no offense guys!!) about these things, because they often don't see eye to eye with us, ladies. We're very sensitive about stuff like that, whereat a lot of guys don't see "what's the big deal about it" because they don't think about our feelings. Let's assume your guy was that one who didn't know any better.....that woman should have stepped in and present herself to you.

She didn't. And he lied also. And he took care of her before your child and you. Spent the night elsewhere instead of his own bed.

As far as explaining your son....telling him the truth might be a solution, but when he's much older (an adult man). A child doesn't need to hear all that, and if he's to have a relationship with his dad, you don't want to come off as the parent who always bad mouth the ex. Kids *hate* that. The truth will eventually come out some day. Maybe you can simply say something like "daddy had different views than mommy about relationship commitments".....one day when he's old enough, he'll understand what you meant. As for now, your job is to raise him teaching respect not only for girls, but for everyone. Be strong, don't stay in your own bubble and seek support where you can. And most importantly....always try to wake up seeing each day as an opportunity to find something better, with a smile. Smiling always help. :)

thank you what you wrote is exactly what I told her when I asked her to talk to me instead she hid and he defended her

Sometimes a step or two backwards is needed before moving forward again

You know what you have to do . Just do it and be thankful for your family's support.

Good luck

I'm always thankful for my families help I said resorted because my mom believed in him as much as I did and now its more they have to resort to helping me once again. I don't appreciate being viewed as a failure but that's what is happening once again. Thank you for the luck .... I'm thinking I need to be more wiser more so then needing more luck. Its really disheartening, I wasnt the only one he let down.

Excuse me , but you are saying you have no $$ for diapers and he refused to help. ?

Do you have food for yourself and child ?

If not I am certain that some if my fellow TT followers would feel as I do and send you a few bucks .

thanks but it is ok I resorted to asking my family for help... Thank you for offering though. The best thing to come out of this is letting it out rather then holding it in....

No money to buy diapers for his own child because he was too preoccupied taking care of HER needs first? Spent the night at the truck stop with HER? Hell no. NO. No. Hell would freeze over before I'd let him walk back into my life! Tell him that he can now consider his truck his new home!

I can say this I didn't let him mess up my Thanksgiving even though he did this the weekend before. He truly isn't bothered by missing out.... Maybe that is what bothers me so much. But I am truly done with him.... I needed to get it out there cause it was eating me up inside especially since he is acting like I'm wrong for feeling the way I do.

I respect the replies. The challenge I have is what I will be able to tell my son when he asks about the man that is not there, how will I help him not become that same way, gosh I hope it's not gentic? I'm sure it'll come to me with time. What gets me is he'll seem so friendly like this relationship ment nothing. Someday if you run across a long hauler with an accent that calls himself J.R.Who has a friendly know that he turned his back on his son for a woman he still swears was only a ride.

I told him I'm done with him and angry by the betrayal. He wanted me to feel like I'm the one losing out. I am hurt deeply by this because I had trusted again after my ex (before J.R.) destroyed everything I had and I had to pick up all the shattered pieces, J.R. helped me while I fought hard to recover... just for him to bring home a girl.... I just don't get it. Why would a person forget what is important and act like it never mattered and turn it around on me. He met me with my four children and left me with five. It's not easy but I have been doing what I know.

I respect the replies. The challenge I have is what I will be able to tell my son when he asks about the man that is not there, how will I help him not become that same way, gosh I hope it's not gentic? I'm sure it'll come to me with time. What gets me is he'll seem so friendly like this relationship ment nothing. Someday if you run across a long hauler with an accent that calls himself J.R.Who has a friendly know that he turned his back on his son for a woman he still swears was only a ride.

Its not been long since I was on here last and the replies I got were helpful in easing my estranged thoughts that lacked comprehensive understanding. Although I am angry and obviously very pained. He lacks complete understanding of why I'm so hurt and is thinking I am wrong for breaking off the relationship because of this woman and that I'm losing a good man who could have cheated on me at anytime but chose not too. This is what he is saying. I'm not one for drama so I am truly hoping that this does not look like drama. In turn I'm reaching out for hope and inspiration. In the past I have been a very naive female and choose my partners poorly. Out of my ex's not one has come forward to be there for his child/ children and yet again I feel I have chosen poorly. I can't get my mind and focus back on track with what he did. He feels so strongly that I am in the wrong. This woman hid and could not face me he even protected her and his truck. He admitted that he had no money for diapers his son needed because he was helping her. At first I was disappointed in his decision but told him I would offer my couch or even give her blankets to keep warm. He said he needed to take her to the truck stop. (The part where I thought to wa) the next day she was still with him that night I asked him to spend an hour with his son and he refused and told me he wouldn't leave his truck even though he could leave his truck in a parking lot right in front of the home. He stayed at the truck stop anyways. So once again why did he come home just to be so cruel, he has no conception of what he put me and my children through. He has not even said he was sorry and tells me he doesn't know what to tell me because he is a "good" man who "loves" me. He told me to leave the poor woman alone even though he claimed to have dropped her off. He has no understanding that yes the woman has a lot to do with my anger but what I really want to know is why he did that, why did he bring her there and stay with her instead of his own family if he was only giving her a ride? The pain is so aggravating, I want focus back so I can get back to being the strong person I know I am.

He used to work for may trucking and he talks to some of the people he graduated with in Utah like Bonnie and Blake

I really don't understand why he would throw away a future so carelessly... He was a man who would ride his bike miles just to tell me he was sorry that was before he went on the road. What about being out there makes someone change. He changed to a point that I found out months after his son was born that he was only half an hour away I gave him an eight hour notice. And I still tried to see it his way. I held onto the memory of who he was before. His passenger couldn't even face me and tell me herself why she excepted a ride from a man she didn't know who told her he was heading home to see his family. What kind of people change like that?

Ok well I can see you are starting to get it. From your initial posts it sounded like you either didn't see or couldn't accept the truth.

Who changes like that? No one. He most likely was this "new" person all along.

The "change" that occurred was when he covered it up with false romanticism and pretend caring in order to win you. Once he did that, he didn't need to keep up the charade any longer so his true nature came back out.

I'm guessing you're both young, maybe early- to mid-20s, right? If you're looking for him to really settle down and treat you right, it ain't gonna happen until the next decade, sorry to say.

Now if you're totally committed to him, then you absolutely need to stand your ground and demand he make a sudden and drastic change. If he doesn't agree, then don't even waste your time.

he is almost 40 I'm in my 30's that's why I said I'm disappointed in him he is old enough to know better

I really wanted to believe him but I am that mama bear and my kids will see me be both parents. I don't have a father's point of view but I had my father and I can empathize and not make the loss a burden only a blessing.