Profile For Lynn H.

Personally, I don't think it's fair to say that this person is someone with a "victim" mentality. Some of the things they have been through have a HUGE impact on your life...which a lot of people do not understand, and/or do not want to understand. OP, I understand what you mean when it comes to the abuse part because I lived it myself, as a kid and teen. And yes, there are days it can be a little rough.

Right. There's a difference between using past trauma as an excuse and being wise enough to understand and accept how your experiences have shaped you. I walk that tightrope every day. Back in the day I tried to drown out the past with positive thinking. I had no patience for weakness or the need to mourn and heal. It worked for a quite a while but ended in disaster. Now I seek balance between acknowledging my experiences but not using them as a reason to fail. That doesn't mean your weak. It's compassionate wisdom.

Right on. Thanks for your wise and thoughtful answer.

Thanks, guys. I do believe this is all in my head. Just sometimes I need the outside verification. Because, you know, my head.

Guys, I don't know what to do, and my mind is going in circles trying to figure it out. I still want to do this truck thing. I really, really do. You know what happened at Prime. I worked so hard and learned everything and demonstrated I could do everything but was so sick the whole time with fever and...well I'll spare the details, but I messed up so bad on testing day and got sent home. The guy, though- I appreciate how obviously he did not relish giving me this news and emphasized that I'm smart and I can do it, and I can come back. I'd love to come back! After my CDL, though, and I don't have one yet.

And I'd love to go to a school. They recommended Sage, but I don't live near Sage, I don't live near any CDL school which means I have to do company sponsored training again which means I'm down to Swift and CR England. I signed up for Swift on the 20th, but I'm terrified I'll have a bad day again. And fail again. And get sent home again. I keep telling myself how I learned everything. I did it. I know I can, but still I worry. Maybe I'm not cut out for this, after all. Maybe that's why I got sick. Tough truck drivers do not get sick.

I think what's making this all so horrifying is that my son is waiting on me to do this so I can help him with something he wants to do. Only because I told him I would, but now he's waiting on me. If it were just me, I'd take my time, and it'll happen when it happens, but when your family is counting on you...and I keep trying to figure out how to do to a school like Prime said, but I can't figure out how to do that. And company sponsored training moved too fast for me, I guess. Did it? Or was I just sick. I don't know. All I know is I failed. I'm not sure what to do.

Please advise.

I got sent home from Prime after working my butt off. I learned to drive, but then I drove sick, poorly, and it was stupid. I was sick the whole time, actually, prolly from the damned bus, and I don't blame them. I didn't give my best impression, but ugh, so much work! Oh, well, I took the knowledge with me. So, a couple of weeks ago I went to Knight and they sent me home to get a note from a doc because I took antidepressants temporarily in 2008. 2008! Sheesh, I even did those modified push ups for weeks to pass the upper body strength test with my old lady arms, and I did. I got a referral from primary doc for psych to deem me mentally worthy, and then Knight recruiter said they didn't want me anyway. No reason given. Now I've got no more money to survive during training periods so need to save up again before I can apply other places. I know I really want to do this, because I'm still determined. It's just taking longer than I'd like. My point is, you're not alone in your frustration. Don't give up!

I know good guys abound, but for personal reasons- it's better. I rescued this abused dog from a shelter a few years ago, and I'm the nicest dog mom in the world, but he still flinches and cowers when I move chairs or get a new trash-bag. I've only treated him with love and patience, but no matter how long I have him he still does it.

Does anyone know- are there many women drivers at Knight? I mean- like just the industry average? The recruiter sounded almost discouraging as in "You WILL be paired up with a female trainer, and it will take a long, long time to get one." Sorry! Maybe she was just stressed about something else. That's probably it- just wondering.

Oh yeah. I told them about every little thing - including asthma and medication. In retrospect, it was super irresponsible to just go instead of canceling. No wonder they became concerned when I went from driving pretty much okay to wackadoodle. That makes the most sense in context. If it helps anybody who reads this, tell them you need to reschedule. Don't worry about getting in trouble for flaking off your test. I probably seem like an individual who would do all manner of willy nilly dangerous moves to get 'er done. So, I learned an important lesson moving forward (I'm already applying,) and plus I learned how to pass a pretrip and a whole lot about driving. Met some cool people too. I'm quite bummed- just trying to stay positive.

so that leaves the medical issue. if the asthma can affect your performance that much, i wonder if they saw it as a safety issue. did you discuss this with stan or brooke?

Per Rainy's point...did you disclose your Asthma condition on your medical long form and list the medications you are taking to manage it? If you did NOT, that is likely the reason you were sent home.

Think what you like. I am perplexed about what is missing from the story as well. Thanks for the info. Take care.

That's exactly what happened. I apreciate the honesty of this forum and will clarify if that's a concern. The trainer the day before the test said my driving "impressed the hell out of him." And "You know how to drive," and excited, congratulatory slaps on the arm. The "needs more time" makes no sense, I know. Maybe he'd just been building my confidence. The next morning I did drive poorly due to being ill. He was clearly discusted and disappointed. My error was to drive when I was too delerious to drive well. I.should have insisted on rescheduling but didn't want to seem flaky. .

Well that's a huge bummer. Yes, you'll have to list that on future applications. No, it will not prevent you from applying to other companies. If they sent you home then you're free to pursue the next opportunity and I would do so immediately if I were you. Keep moving forward and don't worry about what's behind you.

I do have to clarify something for anyone considering attending one of these Paid CDL Training Programs. The reason you were sent home is this:

They said i need more time than they want to spend.

Which is fine. It happens. No big deal. You weren't catching on as quickly as they would like.

My concern is that you kind of tried to make it sound like you were doing awesome until you had one bad test drive and suddenly it all went down the drain and they sent you home without warning.

I don't think that's a fair representation of what happened, do you? I just don't want people to be afraid that if they make one tiny mistake or have one bad day they're going to be on a bus going home.

That's exactly what happened. I apreciate the honesty of this forum and will clarify if that's a concern. The trainer the day before the test said my driving "impressed the hell out of him." And "You know how to drive," and excited, congratulatory slaps on the arm. The "needs more time" makes no sense, I know. Maybe he'd just been building my confidence. The next morning I did drive poorly due to being ill. He was clearly discusted and disappointed. My error was to drive when I was too delerious to drive well. I.should have insisted on rescheduling but didn't want to seem flaky. .

Well that's a huge bummer. Yes, you'll have to list that on future applications. No, it will not prevent you from applying to other companies. If they sent you home then you're free to pursue the next opportunity and I would do so immediately if I were you. Keep moving forward and don't worry about what's behind you.

I do have to clarify something for anyone considering attending one of these Paid CDL Training Programs. The reason you were sent home is this:

They said i need more time than they want to spend.

Which is fine. It happens. No big deal. You weren't catching on as quickly as they would like.

My concern is that you kind of tried to make it sound like you were doing awesome until you had one bad test drive and suddenly it all went down the drain and they sent you home without warning.

I don't think that's a fair representation of what happened, do you? I just don't want people to be afraid that if they make one tiny mistake or have one bad day they're going to be on a bus going home.