Trucker Spouse Normal Or Not

I would really like to understand his point although every angle I look at it from makes me even more confused... So to all the truckers out there would you feel sorry for someone enough to give them a ride when you know your on your way home for your home time and expect your spouse to see it your way and ask you to have patience and understanding?

Thing is, He brought another woman home, in his truck. He then spent more time with her, than with you. It does not matter what his justification is. He was trying to hide it from you. My guess is, that you caught him, and he then came up with the story of helping her out. The only way to look at it, is that he violated your trust. Now, you will always wonder what he is up to, and doubt him, when he tells you. That is not a relationship. More than anything, TRUST is the key factor in a relationship with a Professional Driver. If you don't have trust, the relationship is doomed to failure, or a very unhappy relationship. The only view that matters, is your own view.

If I did something like that, I would run it by my wife before anything and keep her in the loop, being as open an honest as possible. It sounds to me like he tried to be sneaky about it and it has left you feeling uneasy and suspicious. That's not a good sign.

Have you asked him directly about this and made your thoughts and feelings clear to him? If so, what was his explanation? If there is nothing to hide, he should have no problem putting your mind at ease.

I'll just tell you straight up though, from my perspective and based on what you've told us, I think he's being very dishonest and hiding something. To answer your question, I can think of no reason for a faithful and respectful man in a relationship to do what you say he's done.

This is what I do know when I asked him he said he hadn't thought about how much it would hurt me because he knows what it is like to be stranded. This is the part that throws me of with this experience. It was over three months sense I had seen him last our son was two weeks old at that time. So when he was on his home time this time I was thrown off by a couple things he said before I even got to see him. One was he told me the wrong day which wasn't completely unusual but the other was he had things he had to do before he could come see me. Six hrs later he knocks at the door stays twenty minutes and leaves. Four hours later he comes back by said he was hanging out with his friends. After twenty minutes he said he was tired and needed to get the truck to the stop he made it sound like he had to get to wa in three hrs and he'd be back in the morning. This was not normal for him. I told him I'd walk him out to his truck that's when he told me about her. I didn't know how to take it. I couldn't talk to him believing he'd be back in the morning. At one the next day my kids and I wanted to go fishing at the lake. He let me know he was back I invited him to go thinking he'd dropped his passenger off. My kids and I were very confused when she got out of the truck. He claimed he told me he was needing to get her to the truck stop in town so she can use the bathroom and shower. He changed his story from the night before. He attempted to comfort me with her watching and I couldn't understand what he was expecting from me. Why come home at all and lie? Why be so open after lieing? I am still very confused.

This is what I do know when I asked him he said he hadn't thought about how much it would hurt me because he knows what it is like to be stranded. This is the part that throws me of with this experience. It was over three months sense I had seen him last our son was two weeks old at that time. So when he was on his home time this time I was thrown off by a couple things he said before I even got to see him. One was he told me the wrong day which wasn't completely unusual but the other was he had things he had to do before he could come see me. Six hrs later he knocks at the door stays twenty minutes and leaves. Four hours later he comes back by said he was hanging out with his friends. After twenty minutes he said he was tired and needed to get the truck to the stop he made it sound like he had to get to wa in three hrs and he'd be back in the morning. This was not normal for him. I told him I'd walk him out to his truck that's when he told me about her. I didn't know how to take it. I couldn't talk to him believing he'd be back in the morning. At one the next day my kids and I wanted to go fishing at the lake. He let me know he was back I invited him to go thinking he'd dropped his passenger off. My kids and I were very confused when she got out of the truck. He claimed he told me he was needing to get her to the truck stop in town so she can use the bathroom and shower. He changed his story from the night before. He attempted to comfort me with her watching and I couldn't understand what he was expecting from me. Why come home at all and lie? Why be so open after lieing? I am still very confused.

I'm also very disappointed in him. Someday I hope he runs into a wise driver who tells him something that will stick and turn on a light bulb.

I really don't understand why he would throw away a future so carelessly... He was a man who would ride his bike miles just to tell me he was sorry that was before he went on the road. What about being out there makes someone change. He changed to a point that I found out months after his son was born that he was only half an hour away I gave him an eight hour notice. And I still tried to see it his way. I held onto the memory of who he was before. His passenger couldn't even face me and tell me herself why she excepted a ride from a man she didn't know who told her he was heading home to see his family. What kind of people change like that?

I can tell you what my wife would do. She would shoot me. Being a combat medic in the military as well as her Masters degree in the medical field, she would stitch me all up so she could shoot me again.

Ok Jenny, I'm going to give you a hard dose of reality here, and I know it's probably going to hurt, but you need to hear it.

This is what I do know when I asked him he said he hadn't thought about how much it would hurt me because he knows what it is like to be stranded.

This makes absolutely no sense whatsoever, and is not an acceptable answer in any way, shape or form. So he knows what it's like to be stranded. Ok. Does he know what it's like to be in a trusting relationship? Because the two have absolutely no bearing on one another.

The fact that he "hadn't thought about how much it would hurt" you should be red flag #1. What kind of man does something like this, which would clearly be suspicious from any perspective, without thinking of the woman he's supposedly comitted to? The answer, in the immortal words of Gus Fring, is "no man at all."

It was over three months sense I had seen him last our son was two weeks old at that time. So when he was on his home time this time I was thrown off by a couple things he said before I even got to see him. One was he told me the wrong day which wasn't completely unusual but the other was he had things he had to do before he could come see me. Six hrs later he knocks at the door stays twenty minutes and leaves. Four hours later he comes back by said he was hanging out with his friends.

So you're saying he hadn't seen his own son, nearly 4 months old now, since he was 2 weeks old, and rather than come straight home and spend time with him, he spent 10 of his first 11 hours at home out doing who knows what? This is red flag #2. That is just beyond my understanding. I have a daughter under a year old, and every time I come home, the first thing I want to do is hold her. This guy has some serious issues to be so detached from his own child.

After twenty minutes he said he was tired and needed to get the truck to the stop he made it sound like he had to get to wa in three hrs and he'd be back in the morning. This was not normal for him.

So he spent a grand total of 40 minutes with you before making a mad dash out of the house. Red flag #3.

I told him I'd walk him out to his truck that's when he told me about her. I didn't know how to take it. I couldn't talk to him believing he'd be back in the morning.

He only told you about her because he was caught. He apparently didn't think to mention that there was a strange woman in his truck at any point before that, from the moment he picked her up through his entire first day of home time. And if you hadn't walked him out, I highly doubt he would have told you at all. Obvious red flag #4.

At one the next day my kids and I wanted to go fishing at the lake. He let me know he was back I invited him to go thinking he'd dropped his passenger off.

I commend you for even attempting to carry on and give him another opportunity at this point, but I have to say I think it's a little naive too. I understand you have a child with him, but his behavior is clearly break-up-worthy...

My kids and I were very confused when she got out of the truck. He claimed he told me he was needing to get her to the truck stop in town so she can use the bathroom and shower. He changed his story from the night before.

So he's demonstrated that he's a liar. He kept her in the truck with him all night long. How much more obvious can this get? Red flag #5.

He attempted to comfort me with her watching and I couldn't understand what he was expecting from me. Why come home at all and lie? Why be so open after lieing? I am still very confused.

This part is the worst in my eyes. Not only has he clearly been betraying you, but for him to try to comfort you with her watching just takes the cake. It's quite sickening really.

You say you're confused so I'll just spell this out as best as I can: he's cheating on you with this woman, and he is making very feeble and obvious attempts to cover it up. And by not standing your ground, you are enabling him and letting him get away with it and play you for a fool.

Here's what I would do: tell him he's not welcome at your house anymore. Tell him he can stay with his ***** for all you care. Tell him you're not stupid, you know what's going on, and you deserve better than that. Then go find yourself a nice man, one who understands what a relationship is supposed to be.

And then, when he begs to come back, invite him in and tell him the man he sees rubbing your feet (your new boyfriend) is just a stranger who got evicted and needed a place to stay, so you've been letting him sleep in your bed with you. Tell your ex he can sleep on the couch if he wants.

I can tell you what my wife would do. She would shoot me. Being a combat medic in the military as well as her Masters degree in the medical field, she would stitch me all up so she could shoot me again.

My wife and her family would take turns shooting me. She comes from a trucking family, so she knows what to expect with this profession. We also trust each other implicitly.

I truly feel bad for you, and your children. You need to do what is best for them. If he is foolish enough to throw it all away, it is his loss. It is time to be a "momma bear" and protect you, and yours.

Take care

I can tell you what my wife would do. She would shoot me. Being a combat medic in the military as well as her Masters degree in the medical field, she would stitch me all up so she could shoot me again.

Maybe that was it I didn't give him nothing to fear lol now he knows and he seen a side I don't like to show. Maybe now that I've opened up about this it'll get back to him in a way that he will finally truly understand how much his decision hurt his family or maybe he'll laugh at it and feel free either way I hope for an up side out of this for any spouse that waits on her trucker and prays for his safety daily will be saved from this kind of hurt because this story touched that trucker that almost lost himself out there on the road. Always remember who is waiting for you and what you will lose if you make the wrong choice and what they will lose as well. Safe travels through the holidays

I guess it all depends. Do you live together, have you been together for a month, a year, 10 years. If you two are in a committed relationship, it would have been a respectful thing to do to call you prior to offering that woman a ride, and explain what's the deal. Was she stranded? What happened that she needed a ride and couldn't drive herself?

I've heard from acquaintances that sometimes, they give a ride to someone who doesn't have a vehicle, and need to go visit family or something like that. So yes, it does happen.

how did you find out about her? Did he come home and tell you "I gave a ride to this woman, I'm bringing her to so and so town/city where she'll get off and go on, and for now she's staying at this place until I get back on the road". Or did you find her hiding in his truck or something....Did he actually leave your home while being with you, to go see her?? Now that right there would be "hell no". And I'd probably want to talk to her myself.

If on the other end you've just been dating for a little while and didn't discuss where you want to take your relationship to the next level....then some people could argue that he doesn't really have to "answer to you" at this moment....

For my part, I don't do the dating thing. If I meet someone and we click from the start, then we go in it getting to know each other exclusively, not by keeping open our "options" and meeting other people left and right.

If your gut feeling tells you something is wrong, and it's not solely based on jealousy or being possessive, then you'll know what to do. Only you can decide if you can trust him being faithful...or not.