OTR Driving & Maintaining A Relationship

I'm currently in the marine corps and have been dating my woman for bout 3 years now and am seriously thinking about marrying her. Just wondering how hard is it on the wife while being a truck driver? I'm currently deployed to afghanistan and sometimes its almost a year without seeing each other..so i think 3-4 weeks without seeing each other shouldnt be too hard..or is it?

I think the bigger question is what will happen if you want to have children? You two are adults - you can handle it. But children? That's entirely different. They need their parents around.

I guess one thing you could consider is becoming an over-the-road truck driver and start planning on finding a stay-at-home career if you ever want to have children. Now of course there are plenty of local driving gigs that will get you home every night. Most of those will become available after you get a year of over-the-road under your belt because most local gigs require some over-the-road experience. So that is clearly a viable option.

Also, before you have children you'll have the option of bringing your girl with you on the road. I don't know her job status, but you can bring her with you full time, part time, or if she's working full time you can bring her once in a great while when her job permits.

Long distance relationships require the right type of people. You need a really strong, independent woman...and even then it's really tough on both of you. Add kids to the mix and it gets exponentially more difficult.

I think before you have children you have some interesting options available for the two of you and plenty of time to prepare for whatever future you may envision for yourselves.

Thanks brett! I think she could handle me being OTR for a while (which i say that now but you dont really know until your in the situation) But i think she could handle it we've been doing this whole "long distance relationship" thing for a while and have been able to handle pretty good even though we do miss each other alot sometimes but it makes us cherrish those moments together that much more! now having kids would put a spin on things and thats just something we'd have to plan out i guess.. i really want to get into OTR trucking but don't wanna be selfish and keep my family from ever getting to see me.. IDK?! lol

Ryan,

Nothing is 100%, but military SO's are a breed unto themselves. They are independent, self sufficient and roll with the punches more than the average individual or they don't last long. As a retiree out of your sister service, there was more adjustment to the continuous in and out from workups for deployment; not for me since it was the job, but for her since I disrupted everything.

My bride and myself have this philosophy: If you had a weak marriage (relationship) the Navy (insert your service here) would break it. If you have a strong one, it only makes it stronger.

Don't know if that helps, but after 33 years of marriage it is what has worked for us.

Thanks alot Larry! Yea I see my girl probably 2-3 times a year maybe 4 max. Just cant take leave whenever you please. you got to plan it out and see if that date will work out with everyone else, etc. So im sure you know how that works. I believe the military life style will set my up greatly for the trucking lifestyle in a sense of being away from home for long periods of time, etc.

Everyone has to find what works for them. Brett does have a good point about when kids enter the picture. But you also have seen those that make it work and do it well while others, not so much. What worked for us, is that when I was home, I made it a point to take the kids all by myself (scary proposition at times) as often as possible so she had some time for her.

Our job in the military is always the easiest since 1) it is what we chose to do and 2) we have no choice. While they get to stay on the home front and continue their duties AND ours. Like I said before, takes a special woman to do all of that.

I have been a truckers wife, and it can be a long and lonely road, but looks like she already understands that with she already being away from you for long periods of time. Have her come here to our forum we can help her if she needs it? The ladies of truck driving forum is growing and we would love to have her. I also want to thank you and her for all you do for our country even the wives just like trucking deserve respect just as much as our men out there. And that goes for all of you not just Ryan.

Larry that sounds like a good idea I mean its possible for it to work it just like Brett said though it takes a special couple. And juelma I'll speak to her about it and thanks for the support!

Larry that sounds like a good idea I mean its possible for it to work it just like Brett said though it takes a special couple. And juelma I'll speak to her about it and thanks for the support!

k

Your always welcome!! Roll Tide lol I am a ky fan but thats fun to say that

I have to agree with this only in the military context:

If you had a weak marriage (relationship) the Navy (insert your service here) would break it. If you have a strong one, it only makes it stronger.

After the NAVY my marriage did was difficult and very much bad for its last 2 years. I was gone all the time and very rarely had dinner with the wife (now ex-wife). Being a SEAL was not easy and definitely not easy on her either. And after I left the NAVY it sure was more evident that we just couldn't get used to each other since we never spent time together.

Military and trucking relationships are not the same. It do take a special breed of people to handle it. In the military you will always have a secure and steady paycheck while in trucking sometimes you will not. In the military you have an idea on how much you will get paid while in trucking your paycheck depend heavily in the miles (for those paid by the mile) you drive or the loads (for those paid by percentage) you get. One week it might be a good paycheck and the other it might be a lousy one. That right there (money I mean) is what in my opinion make or destroy a relationship.

No relationship is the same. I am not saying that yours will fail, I just want you to realize the fact when it come to a relationship and trucking. I wish you the best in your relationship and let us know when you pop the question (if you haven't done it already).