Mentor Problems

Started driving with Pam Transport recently and on my second day on the road with my mentor I bent a rim on my tandems. I should also note today was my first time really driving outside of training , I was exhausted at the end of my day and it was a dark area. However my mentor should not have put me in that position.

I'm female and I like to know where I'm going and don't do well with blindly being told where to turn. I like to plan my movement's ahead of time to avoid hitting things. Well he doesn't like questions and according to him, the reason I bent that rim is because women need to be babied and a man would not have hit the curb. He even told me to keep going after the tires were sitting on the curb. Had I been given time to evaluate the situation, instead of blindly trudging on, I'm sure I could've found a way to not bend the rim as it passed over the edge of the curb!

For the next hour he spent his time belittling me and let women for needing to be babied and how I'm the second women he has kicked off his truck. Thing is I'm only the second female on his truck.

He was so verbally abusive I walked away and haven't been near him since. That was over 2 hours ago and now we are waiting for them to replace the rim and take me to the nearest truck stop to find a cheap hotel. I really hope this is a fluke and not a sign.

All companies have good and bad trainers. Unfortunately in male dominated industries you are going to have jerks like him. You can stick it out with him if you can bear it. Or complain to dispatch about him being sexist. I had 3 trainers in 3 months.. long story.. but one was like this. I only had him for 2 weeks for my final 10k miles. I played dumb and agreed with him.

"You are so right. I need to be babied so please tell me where to go and when to turn. Don't you dare go to sleep when I'm driving. I might not be able to stop if you don't tell me when. To hit the brakes or download shift. You are sooo smart I don't know how I lived these 42 years without your informed opinion and directions." THAT shut him up. Hahha

Or you can tell him "Does it feel good to put others down? If that is what it takes to get you through the day feel welcome to hurl insults. Just know that your opinions have no impact on my wallet so your opinions do not matter. If you are interested in sharing your trucking expertise please do... if not.. then perhaps we should head back to the terminal"

Most likely the compnay knows he is a male chauvinistic pig. However they usually need more than one complaint to do anything about it. Otherwise it is he said she said.

Don't let this affect your thoughts on the company. How the company handles the situation demonstrates it's integeity... not some cappy trainer whom they are unaware is acting like this.

How long do you need to be with him?

Sorry you're having trouble with your trainer. I'm a bit confused about the motel room unless he's throwing you off the truck though. It doesn't take hardly any time to change a rim or a tire.

Not to sound unsympathetic to your trainer problem, what i will say is this: You were driving and you curbed a tire, damaging the rim. That can happen, but do i believe it was his fault you damaged a rim? Sorry, I don't. We drive all times of the day and night in various weather conditions both good and bad. I'm assuming you have your CDL and should know how to safely make a turn without scrubbing tires, knocking down signs, hydrants, fences and the like.

Show what you're made of and accept and admit any shortcomings. Your trainer is there to hopefully polish the rough edges on your new driving skills, but it does sound like he may be the "women have no business in a truck" variety so you're either going to have to prove him wrong or insist on a different trainer.

The other thing i don't understand is the complaint about him telling you where to turn. Do you know the route? If not, how were you supposed to know where to turn, if he didn't tell you?

I'm very confused but i do wish you luck and hope you can either mend the situation with your trainer or be assigned a new one asap. Company training is so incredibly important that it's best if you have one that you can work with and that is willing to earnestly work with you and teach you things you wilk need to know to do your job safely.

I wish you the best. We need more ladies out here. Please let us know how it works out.

Kelsi, you have good advice from two experienced ladies on dealing with a crabby maybe sexist mentor. I'll skip that part.

Maybe one of the hardest personal things in driver training is the team period. It's almost unavoidable and for many, the two people together in a can for several days/ weeks is almost excruciating. But it's temporary.

My take on his opinion "women need to be babyed and a man would not have hit the curb." is wrong - men hit curbs and pop tires and rims just as often as women do. I've been solo for over 18 months and recently caught and blew a tandem tire on a curb. So, welcome to that club, Kelsi.

I wonder about the meaning of

(I) don't do well with blindly being told where to turn.

If your mentor is giving you directions, like a GPS, about which street to go down, I understand. That's frustrating when you're in an unfamiliar area. But if he knows where to go, especially maybe driveways to use, you might have to trust your mentor on that.

On the other hand, if you're making a right turn and he's telling you exactly when to turn the wheel, that's part of your new experience of driving a 60 foot long vehicle. The habit of remembering that your ass end is so far back is hard to get used to.

It's not a big deal (no "failure" implied) to ask for a new mentor. Pairing people up for driver training is not a dating service with all those questions. So if there are compatibility problems, ask for another. The issue you still have is whether to ask for a female mentor. The problem with that is woman mentors are hard to find and you'll be stuck waiting.

Kelsi, keep us posted on how this turns out.

No I think I understand what she means... my jerk started me in downtown Chicago with no directions other than "drive and I'll tell you where to go" then he yelled "cicero!" Like I was supposed to know that or even what direction to turn.

One night he said "80 to 94".... when he woke I was on 94 and he screamed he said 294... well that would have been 80 to 294... he missed a "to" sound. And he'd scream that I'm not supposed to use the GPS but refused to write doen the route for me. I know exactly what she is going through.

Three times I considered finding my way back to prime. Then I realized I only had to put up with him for 2 weeks. I just wanted to get it over with and go solo. When we returned I wrote a very detailed letter about him as well as gave them pictures. Had I thought about his yelling I would have recorded him on my phone. I know for a fact he was removed from training permanently and it would not surprise me if he was fired cause I took pics of all the DOT violations on the truck. He is not a representative of the great people who work at my company.

And don't feel bad about jumping a curb... I had one customer in which in had to jump the curb just to get in the door... then they said "wow... ur the first 53 footer we had"... yeah no crap. You're new and you are going to screw up it is part of learning. Abuse is abuse though. He got mad at me cause he said I should be intimidated by him. ....uh no. No one intimidates me. I survived 4 siblings grown up in NJ.... what the hell did he think he could do that would scare me?

He's a crabby old man. Feel sorry for him and learn.

One night he said "80 to 94".... when he woke I was on 94 and he screamed he said 294

He'd been listening to the Qualcomm GPS lady too much: "Take ramp to 19" when you really need ramp #219!

Well if you ladies would quit wasting time on here complaining about us men, when it's obvious that we are so much better at driving, and go bake me some cookies it would be appreciated. Hahah 😜😜

I would consider recording some of the conversations if he's giving you a hard time. Your word against his doesn't get you very far in most circumstances but there's no denying a recording.

And keep in mind that although he's acting like a jerk he might also be testing you to see what you're made of. Trucking is a stressful job and truckers are really looked down upon in our society. You're going to face a lot of high pressure situations and more than your fair share of lousy treatment from the general public. He might be trying to push your buttons a little bit to see if you snap or crumble every time someone says something you don't like or puts you in a situation you're uncomfortable with.

Unfortunately trucking is full of 'cavemen'. There are very few drivers that anyone would consider refined or cultured. If you can accept this guy for who he is, ignore his garbage, learn what you need to learn, and move on with your career that would be awesome. If you think this guy is going to be an endless nightmare then request a different trainer but make sure you document things like Rainy said. Write down specific things he says along with the date and time so when you present this to someone they'll see you're rational and calculating and not just having a meltdown. And if you can get a recording of him talking trash to you, especially sexist trash, that's as good as gold. Obviously don't let him know you're recording anything and don't tell him you've done so. Just present your documentation and recording to the higher ups at the terminal when you get back there. They'll bring him in and deal with him.

I should probably clarify what I meant when I said I believed he was partially to blame. The entire time he was leaning forward blocking my passenger side mirrors while acting like I mentioned above. I get what you're all saying as it was ultimately my fault as I was the driver and not him. It's just really hard for me to blindly follow directions like that especially when he was being a jerkface the entire time.

As far as an update, I got to the hotel last night at around 3 am and it's now about 10 pm the following day. As far as I've been told I'm on a safety hold and am waiting to hear back from safety on when or if I'm going out with a new trainer.

I'm pretty sure I'm getting a new trainer, it's just a matter of when. I'm not about to quit after all the crap I've gone through to get this far.

Hi kelsi,

The mentoring portion of truck driving is difficult, to say the least.

I'll tell you a story...When I started, I was assigned a mentor and was excited to practice what I had learned and nervous at the same time.

We met at a stop and made a delivery about five minutes away - he drove. He let me back up and directed me down a hill in the fog at night. He kept telling me to go faster and I literally had been in his truck for 5 minutes. It was horrible.

He then wanted me to bobtail the truck solo while he followed me in his personal vehicle. I refused since it is company policy that mentors must drive with their students. My mentoring with him lasted a total of 30 minutes, probably a record!

Anyway, the next day, I called the mentor department and was assigned someone else. They were like sure, no problem. This mentor was extremely safe and that's what I wanted. We still go into a few arguments, that is normal. We are still friends to this day.

So, how does this relate to you. First, is he a safe driver and teaching you safety. That should be your priority. If you get a new mentor, make sure he/she teaches safety.

Above all, he does NOT have the right to belittle you, Communication is the key here. Let him know firmly your stance. It's that some of these mentors have "power trips". Respect the mentor, and sometimes you have to bite your lower lip. But, you also deserve to be treated with respect.

When I switched mentors, I explained to the mentor department, that we were not a good fit. However, like someone else posted, keep documentation and possible recording.

I think it is great that more women are driving, so keep your head high.

You are going to do great, so don't worry.