Need Help!!!

My husband has been OTR since Dec 26th, 2016 and it's been pretty rough since he has been gone over a month now. He is the type of man that if something is bothering him he keeps it in until he explodes. Plus he likes to over think things and when he gets something in his head it's very hard to get him to stop thinking that way. He has been bringing up past stuff lately and not letting things go from the past. Nothing to do with cheating just other stuff that really he is making it a bigger deal then it needs to be, like things that have happened years ago. With that being said and a number of times, he has been gone, mixed with all the time he has been spending alone and thinking none stop about stuff has taken a toll on our marriage. It's almost like he is purposely trying to bring up stuff just to be mad at me and act like he does not care. If ask too much he gets mad so I try not to. He has even said I don't care about him and I take him for granted which I can't understand why he is saying things like that now.I always text/call him and tell him I love and miss him since he is been gone. I want to do something for him while he is driving and I don't mean at home because he is going to be gone a month or two more. I want to know if there is anything I can do to show him I do care and love him and appreciate him more than ever. What can I do for him while he is driving? I am even considering driving to meet him and surprise him without him knowing. Not sure how I would do that without asking him and that would defeat the purpose of surprising him. What else could I do??

Thank you!!

I would just be supportive and helpful in more ways than one. The comfort of a woman, the easeness of her voice and spirit will help tremendously. Not to mention when he had downtime you both can Skype or video chat with one another, having your "personal time," while he's away!

Hope that was helpful

My husband has been OTR since Dec 26th, 2016 and it's been pretty rough since he has been gone over a month now. He is the type of man that if something is bothering him he keeps it in until he explodes. Plus he likes to over think things and when he gets something in his head it's very hard to get him to stop thinking that way. He has been bringing up past stuff lately and not letting things go from the past. Nothing to do with cheating just other stuff that really he is making it a bigger deal then it needs to be, like things that have happened years ago. With that being said and a number of times, he has been gone, mixed with all the time he has been spending alone and thinking none stop about stuff has taken a toll on our marriage. It's almost like he is purposely trying to bring up stuff just to be mad at me and act like he does not care. If ask too much he gets mad so I try not to. He has even said I don't care about him and I take him for granted which I can't understand why he is saying things like that now.I always text/call him and tell him I love and miss him since he is been gone. I want to do something for him while he is driving and I don't mean at home because he is going to be gone a month or two more. I want to know if there is anything I can do to show him I do care and love him and appreciate him more than ever. What can I do for him while he is driving? I am even considering driving to meet him and surprise him without him knowing. Not sure how I would do that without asking him and that would defeat the purpose of surprising him. What else could I do??

Thank you!!

I am sorry you are going through such a time as this. I have been in relationships that I had expectations from and they were either delusions in my own mind or the other person needed to take a radical turn away from the way the relationship became established.

I always began looking to see what I could do- you know- to fix things. And I would do everything I could. Some things helped. But, only a little. In the end even no responses and vague ones are very much responses. They may not what you wish to hear. In fact likely not.

You have to learn to be independent of ANY! relationship. This was the most difficult thing I had to learn. I didn't want to. For years I struggled and resisted. The more I tried to "fix" the more I became broken.

Then I learned the key. I only had to become a best version of me. I didn't even think I could be anyone outside of a relationship. I discovered in the end I didn't know me. And I thought I could only be fulfilled by some one outside of me. My neediness in fact was a red flag to all. All I attracted was sympathy and more misery. I had no dreams, no desires I could remember, and no joy. My heart and my spirit were broken. I was crushed.

As I began to find and discover who I was created to be, I became a bit more hopeful, but very slowly and painfully. As I followed my hope I found some joy. Then I would discover another. Then as I found a bit more, I began attracting more. Now I have a hope and renewed dreams. They are all from within. I feel so blessed when someone outside of me can see, and encourages me. But in general that is not the case. Many would rather see me stay the way I was, and not change their rules for me.

I am in no way discouraging you to end, or not keep your relationship. I wish you only the very best. I also see how you are focused on him and not you. You are the most important! You need to let, and allow things to be as they are. You can not change them. Circumstances will always be there. Learn to find your own bliss, and you will find your joy. The Universe is unlimited and it gives you exactly what you are projecting. If you worry, you will have more things to worry about. If you have doubts, you will feed more doubt.

I would be happy to point you to the resources I have found extremely helpful, if you like. And/or share more of my journey so others can benefit and find a fulfilled life sooner than I did. Just PM me or leave a note.