I Don't Know What To Do!

Jenn stay strong everything will work out in your favorite forget about the negativity & focus on completing your task, I wish you & your boyfriend well.

Oh an I believe you

Jenn stay strong everything will work out in your favorite forget about the negativity & focus on completing your task, I wish you & your boyfriend well.

Why there are 2 different reasons. First of all he was in the weekend class and I am in the full time class. He got the call from his dr not to drive last week. He lied and told me he wasnt working due to weather. He was scared to tell me the truth about his health because he is scared.

After everything that has happened at the school I am not sure I want to return considering I was told today that they took all the steps that they feel they need to do as in suspending him till I graduate. What about the females that attend the school after I graduate.

I thought I submitted this comment already but I must have accidentally erased it or the moderator didn't approve it yet. Sorry if this is a duplicate. The original comment is below:

"Aaahh, that makes sense. Us men are stubborn, LOL.

To be honest, and you may not like to hear this either, but what happens after you graduate is not your problem. You should worry about you first and foremost. If that guy is gone until you graduate you are in a perfect position to finish things up and get to trucking. You could even run regional while your boyfriend is getting his stuff sorted out. At the end of the day, that guy will face the Karma he deserves. If you want to leave the school and focus on the future of other women that attend that school that may be a long process. Again, Good luck to you, sorry if I haven't provided any other answers you might have been looking for.

Jenn, I have gone back and forth a thousand times it seems on whether or not I want to add any more to this conversation or not. I have got some things I want to say, but I know some of it is going to be misconstrued by some as harsh. I am going to go ahead and throw some things out there and I hope they will somehow help you see your way through this whole situation. I have got a long history in this forum and I hope that folks will realize that I am always doing what I can to help people not only get started in this career, but also have a plan for long term success at it.

I didn't jump on the bandwagon in your other thread because there was an underlying theme that really bothered me, and it has surfaced again, even more prominently in this thread. I have gotten to the point where I can tell you pretty quickly which people who come in here will end up being successful truckers and which ones will not. There are characteristics that make for success in this career, and those things stand out pretty quickly to me. There are also some things that people exhibit that will hinder them considerably in this business, and those things are pointedly recognizable also.

Before I get in to this too deeply, let me say this. We have seen a lot of people come in here who have a really hard time for one reason or the other when they are going through the whole process of school and landing their first job. Just the other day Papa Bear, who seemed quite promising, ended up going home from a Paid CDL Training Program and possibly not returning. I myself had considerable trials and disappointments when I first made an attempt at trucking. I definitely know what it's like to suffer some of the difficulties that people go through when getting this thing off the ground. I also know that you simply cannot view yourself as a victim if you want to have even a little bit of success in this business. There, I said it.

You have presented yourself as a victim of the school. A victim of a sexual predator. A victim of your circumstances. A victim of some lies from your boyfriend, and several other things. I'm not denying that something wrong took place. Nor do I not have compassion for you considering the difficulties you are going through. I had a lot of things that I could have thought went wrongly and unfairly against me during my foray into trucking, but I never let any of it take me off my focus of getting this accomplished. I have spoken many times in here about a principle that I taught my children. I taught them to never let the "Tyranny of the Urgent" to cause them to make bad decisions or force their hand in something. You have allowed your desperate financial situation make you think that the school owes you now because of something bad that happened while you were there. Once you filed charges with the police, there is no way they are going to start giving concessions to you. That would be tantamount to admitting guilt. Now that you've got some pressure on them, it would be very foolish for them to start openly admitting guilt. Now you are saying you are not sure you want to return to the school. If you want to make it in this career, you need to double down and beat this situation. You need to get right back in there and make this happen. I don't know how you can come up with the money, but if you think you can pass that driving test, you need to get the $155.00 together and go get that CDL, and then proceed on to find a job, then stick with it for at least a full year. That is the only way you are going to get this behind you, unless you consider leaving it all unfinished as putting it behind you.

Continued...

The fact that you are constantly victimized is the big red flag I keep seeing. I see this almost everyday out here in the trucking business. I can't even begin to tell you how many lousy, miserable truck drivers who loathe their jobs, are sitting around in the truck stop and terminal driver's lounges. I get the feeling this experience of yours is not the first time that you have felt like you were a victim of unusual circumstances, or that everything was against you. Can you be honest with yourself when you think about what I'm saying? Because if your life has one constant theme of being done wrong by other people, then I don't think you want to be in trucking. These truck drivers who I am referring to are done wrong every day. Their company doesn't treat them right. Their dispatcher's don't ever give them the respect they deserve. Their shippers always hold them up unnecessarily. Their receivers will push them to the end of the line just because they were only about five minutes late. Even the stupid electronic logs are against them and keeping them from making any money.

Victims do not do well at trucking. It is a well established fact.

Now, if you have a change of mind, and determine in the morning that you are going to see this through, and do what ever it takes to get that class A license, then I think you will be on the right track. But so far nothing that you have shared with us gives me any faint hope that you are made that way. I hope you are, and I would love to see you attack these issues with a new vigor that indicates you want this more than anything, The ball has been forcefully put into your court, and we are all watching with much anticipation to see how you will play it.

I honestly wish you the best!

I will be going back. I am not going to let them take this from me. I am actually more determined more tjan ever to get my class a. I have actually have something in the works. I already have a local job once I get class a. My boss asked when am I going to get it because he really wants me to work for him. He has been after me to go to school. I told him what I need to graduate and I think that he is going to help with it. He was putting his kids to bed when I talked to him tonight. I am just really ****ed at how the school is handling it.

Everything else that is going on I can actually deal with. I was more or less just venting.

I have been reading along silently. The wheels of justice don’t often turn very fast. Most people don’t understand the process, which is usually a good thing. I spent my entire life in public service on both sides of the coin. Here is how it will most likely go

Police will investigate the allegations. In this case it will take time to interview folks. This isn’t simply taking your and his statements and going to the DA. There is no direct evidence so they will need to build timelines of when you and the suspect were together as well as showing who else could or could not possibly be a witness. They should also look into the prior class’s he has had contact with. Looking to make comparisons for other possible victims and/or show a course of conduct.

During the criminal investigation the school will do nothing. They will wait to see if charges are filed. Their lawyers will monitor the process. If they do anything one way or the other it can bite them.

Once the criminal is completed it will depend on the outcome how the school will proceed. Just the way it goes these days. Also you need to understand this is a personnel issue so the school can’t openly talk about it as far as their employee goes.

You need to focus on yourself not past or future victims. You got the situation brought to light and that is all you can do.

You have done all you can do as far as the assault, let them handle it and move on or the dirt bag won, I know it seems hard to do but moving along with your life and doing what you want will get better everyday and this will actually make you stronger. Good Luck,

I ve kept my mouth shut long enough. When i first read the threads i felt the same as Old School. Victim victim victim. The term "sexual assault" was thrown out by G Town, but assault and sex crimes vary by state. Most states would list this act as groping, however, there must be an illicit and suggestive intent. Sexual assault...was he "sexual" and trying to entice you? was it an actual erogenous zone? This topic has gone on and on by a bunch of well meaning men as if he smacked her butt or grabbed her breast, or even her ******l area. Even THAT would not traumatize to the extent this discussion has conveyed you men expect it should. And the police do not decide the charges, a prosecutor would of it goes that far.

You know.why he touched her legs? Because SHE didnt flip out and state her boundaries immediately when he pulled her bra strap---something i have not even heard happeming since i was in 7th grade. Which means we are dealing with a very immature guy here. At that point a "Dont ever touch me again or I shall report you" would have prevented any further problems. Or, immediately go into the office and raise hell. Because she didnt, he may have falsely believed they were friendly enough to be comfortable. Who knows. But almost any workplace will ask "Did you tell him to stop or that it was inapproprtiate?" Heck, even in a rape case they ask of you said no. The other person cant read minds. In studemt/teacher situations there is a matter of ethics involved. She was a paying customer (maybe, since she owes $155) so she should have had even more confidence to report him to the school, but she waited why?

The fact it took strangers from a forum to tell her she was "sexually assaulted" and to go to the police made me laugh. Im 43 years old. Of course i have been sexually harrassed and assaulted. But I dealt with it and it was done. Did anyone stop.to think that in some states it is illegal for a company to divulge a termination? The person has a right to privacy.

Did anyome stop to think that pressing charges could lead to months of courtroom drama and postponememts, only to settle in a dismmisal or a reduced charge, feeling like a let dowm and waste of time. The school is scared because the MeToo movement turn sexual anything into a witch hunt. Lets ruin the reputations of any man and any business before we find the facts! A couple phone calls to a news outlet and that school could be ruined

As far as trucking, no please dont go OTR ever. If she cant figure out what to do at home, where friends family and a boyfriend are there for moral support, then she shouldnt go out in the world.

Going local? Good luck. Those tight turns, narrow roads, and aggravating backing scenarios can wreak havoc on a new trucking career.

"I dont know what to do".... in this business you need to figure it out on your own a lot of times. You need to be a leader not a follower.

i absolutely abhor when women get into male dominated fields with the "we are equal" mantra, then play the victim card when some men act like...well....men. If a woman wants to run with the big boys she needs to toughen up. You know how many guys yelled at me for taking too long to back? Plenty. I didnt cry, I set my brakes and laughed at them.

Men approach me out here all the time. Is that harrassment? one guy grabbed my wrist and another stroked my leg. My response, "Touch me again and you will lose some fingers". Should i go call a cop?

This thread started with the "we havent eaten and have no gas money" omg...i was waiting for a GoFund me ad to pop up. They owe me arleast the $155. Im shocked the "Im going to sue" line didnt come up. ""I can't work because of this school"...oh puuuhhllleeeaaassee. i workd 70 hrs a week at the USPS in a temporary position, took 6 college courses, and took care of a house, hubby and dog at 23 yrs old. Grow up and get a job. Get a part time one. Heck, you can make $300 a week posting on forums and get the money deposited into your paypal.

Im done. excuse, excuse, excuse.

Good luck with whatever you choose. Hopefully that new boss of yours doesn't mind a few dents in his truck on those local runs.

I must agree with Rainy's reply. I do not think you'll make it too far. I do wish you good luck with whatever your decision may be, whether you pursue a driving job or choose another line of work.