It's Not My Fault I Failed

Im keeping my mouth shut. And you know i wanr to say something...so use your imagination. lol

I won't lie I definitely contemplated saying no. A part of me hoped that my hometime was going to have them find another trainer.

That being said; when I take a student I finish them unless there are circumstances beyond my control. His failure is just as much my failure. I did not prepare him well enough obviously to take the tests.

There is only so much you can do for someone. When they tell you they know it and are good, drilling it more into their head causes issues. When they have an attitude that they know better than you, well....it sucks.

Keeping yourself in a hostile situation could be a detriment to both him and you.

You know best, but you sound like you feel guilty you considered dumping him. I just want to say... dump that guilt! And dream about a vacation. lol

Im keeping my mouth shut.

Wow....... that's a first. Marking my calendar now.

Not guilty just being honest.

I picked him back up today and there was an attitude change. He admitted it was his fault. He wasn't confident and gets nervous around "authority".

We will be rolling solo for at least 50 more hours and possibly for the whole 100.

G-town thank you.

I won't lie I definitely contemplated saying no. A part of me hoped that my hometime was going to have them find another trainer.

That being said; when I take a student I finish them unless there are circumstances beyond my control. His failure is just as much my failure. I did not prepare him well enough obviously to take the tests.

There is only so much you can do for someone. When they tell you they know it and are good, drilling it more into their head causes issues. When they have an attitude that they know better than you, well....it sucks.

Keeping yourself in a hostile situation could be a detriment to both him and you.

You know best, but you sound like you feel guilty you considered dumping him. I just want to say... dump that guilt! And dream about a vacation. lol

Hopefully it sticks with him, not only for the 100 hours, but the rest of his career. Rainy is right, dump the thoughts of HIS failings. You have done a great job, with what you had to work with, and a great deal of patience and determination seeing it through to the end.

I have a few thoughts on teaching that might be useful.

There are still some of us around that agree with the old saying “ spare the rod, spoil the child”.

Yeah, you know who believes that? Well me, for one. But in general, those of us who were raised by parents who had high expectations of their children. I've told my mom many, many times over the years that of all of the wonderful things my parents did for me the best thing of all was to expect me to live up to high expectations and perform at a high level. That led me to expect the best of myself and not settle for less. That was the foundation of my life, and lacking that foundation often leads to a life of poor performance and poor results.

Big T, I don't know how you can work what I just said into your training, but it might help somehow.

His failure is just as much my failure. I did not prepare him well enough obviously to take the tests.

We all very much admire that level of personal responsibility and integrity. It's people like yourself that frequent this website and it thrills me to death that we've become "the good neighborhood" on the Web for trucking. But I will say that you're simply not going to be able to get through to everyone. Heck, Jesus didn't get through to everyone! And man was he good, ya know?

When I first started this website I took the approach with this forum that we would welcome all questions, all debates, all criticisms because I knew we were plenty capable of explaining our philosophies, business insights, and trucking experiences to anyone. If someone didn't understand something or someone disagreed with our viewpoint we'd be happy to discuss it.

It turns out that I was naive about the prospects of helping people understand reason. People are often not reasonable, nor do they care to be. I underestimated the wrath of trolls. I misunderstood the fact that there are people who have traits that will keep them from learning to become a true professional or to grow as human beings. It can take a lot of forms. They can be stubborn, ignorant, insecure, vengeful, arrogant, lazy, or many other things but they all lead to the same poor results.

Over time I adapted a new policy and a new philosophy.

The new policy was that this website is a classroom, not a sounding board for the peanut gallery and we'd only let people participate if they were willing and able to handle themselves like professionals. They don't have to agree with us, but they can't be allowed to turn this into the Jerry Springer show, either.

The new philosophy was simple: I'll tell you what I know, you do with it what you like. There are plenty of people who aren't going to listen, learn, or grow. At least not now. Maybe someday, but life is too short to let good people waste their time banging their head against the wall with one knucklehead when there are so many people who are eager, and maybe even desperate to listen, learn, and grow because they need a new career to support themselves and their family.

So we choose to spend our time teaching those who are willing to at least listen to our philosophies about what it takes to get your trucking career off to a great start and have civil discussions about it. For those who want to take a different approach there are other places out there that will tell them what they'd like to hear.

I think people will find that the Paid CDL Training Programs take the same approach. They bring in a bunch of people and give them all an equal opportunity to show they're willing and able to put in the work and live up to the standards required to become a professional driver. For those who are eager for the opportunity, the opportunity is granted. For those who won't do what it takes to become a top tier driver they send them away.

It's noble to say you'll take on all comers and you'll help every single person succeed. It's noble to say that a student's failure is your own. But in reality you'll find that it isn't practical because you'll wind up wasting a ton of your valuable time on people who won't benefit from it to the detriment of others who would.

I'll give you two metaphors for this.

First, the one that says you can lead a horse to water but you can't make him drink. It's true. Don't let a bunch of thirsty horses suffer from dehydration because you're too busy trying to shove one unwilling horse's head into the water. It he doesn't want to drink then send him off and bring in those that do.

The second is about gardening, which I've done a fair amount of. I read in a very famous gardening book one time that you should never waste your time trying to nurture the tiny, weak plants because they're never going to produce much of anything. Focus your time on developing the stronger, healthier plants because they're going to produce the bulk of your food.

These are just some of my thoughts from the 12 years I've spent teaching people what it takes to succeed in this industry.

The new philosophy was simple: I'll tell you what I know, you do with it what you like. There are plenty of people who aren't going to listen, learn, or grow. At least not now. Maybe someday, but life is too short to let good people waste their time banging their head against the wall with one knucklehead when there are so many people who are eager, and maybe even desperate to listen, learn, and grow because they need a new career to support themselves and their family.

I've had a very successful run at this career. One part of that success is being able to teach others how it works. I've enjoyed that part of it as much as my achievements in the truck. It still amazes me how new people entering this career will jump down our throats and try to dictate how we should be conducting ourselves in this forum. It's not rocket science, but it is complex. We often try to contrast the different ways people approach this career, showing how or why one works better than the other. Some folks think we're critical. Other folks "get it" right away.

We get no pleasure from being critical, just as we get no pleasure from being misunderstood by our critics. Somebody referred to me recently as a "bully!" I was just scratching my head and wondering, "How in the world have I left that impression?" Did they just crawl out from under a rock? Have they not realized how many years we've been painstakingly giving detailed helpful responses to newbies eager to get a grasp on the concepts of success in trucking?

There are clearly people who visit here that we're not going to be able to help. We always try, but if they start showing an attitude rather than aptitude for bettering themselves we quickly move on. I always enjoy the camaraderie here, and it's not just with the long time members. Every new potential driver who comes in here is immediately welcomed into the fold without being chided or scorned. There's simply not another trucking forum like this one. I hope to be participating here for many years to come.

As someone new to the forum, who has a sincere interest in learning about trucking and developing skills, I can see both sides of the coin regarding the "critical" comments on forum. First, as Brett states, there are the idiots who seriously don't understand the simple physics of a vehicle 75 feet long, weighing 80,000 pounds traveling at 60 mph.

They can be stubborn, ignorant, insecure, vengeful, arrogant, lazy, or many other things but they all lead to the same poor results

The other side of the coin is a critical response to a sincere effort to understand with "pfft, you just don't understand." And I am sure that this response often comes as a result of dealing with many of the idiots described above. This may have something to do with the high turnover rate. Immature idiots don't understand, however many times you tell them that OTR driver means exactly that: you are living on the road for weeks at a time driving a building at highway speeds. But for those who are truly trying to understand, maybe temper the tone a little.

If someone didn't understand something or someone disagreed with our viewpoint we'd be happy to discuss it.

I want to learn from this forum and have already come to respect a few. Brett (whose diligence just managing this forum exhausts me), Old School (I'd like to drive flatbed, so let me know next time you're near St. Louis and I'll buy you dinner), Turtle (really great perspective on training at Prime), G-Town (probably forgot more about trucking than I'll ever know), and Rainy D (wonderful ability to be nice and frank as the same time).

I think I understand that trucking is a hard lifestyle, but just like all the hard experiences of my life, I realize that you never fully understand until you've been through it.

For those who want to take a different approach there are other places out there that will tell them what they'd like to hear.

As I continue to engage with people on this forum, I WOULD like the experienced to drivers to tell me what I want to hear: are my efforts to understand what you are saying accurate or at least getting close? Or will I just not understand until I have as much experience as you?

Rob I have been hanging around here for a bit now... When I first found it I knew nothing about what I was taking on. I read, studied, and asked alot of questions. I prepared myself as best I could. Some things were fuzzy until I got into it, and then the light bulb lit up. We all learn in different ways. Brett has dedicated his time, and a vast part of his life to this endeavor. It’s not just another web site. Most, but certainly not all that have been here any length of time share some common traits. First we’re older. Many from military backgrounds. Which translates to politicaly correct isn’t our strongest trait. We call it as we see it. We all care about others... These are all traits that are too uncommon these days. It has kinda turned into a large extended family...The majority of folks that come in here and get their feathers ruffled are not looking for guidance and wisdom. They are looking too argue and whine about whatever the topic is. Everyone here is experienced in life as well as the various levels of experience in trucking. I would be intetested if Brett could pull out the numbers on these two areas: Average age of members that have been regular, or in my case semi regular and total years of experience in trucking. I think those two numbers would be very interesting...

Rainy D (wonderful ability to be nice and frank as the same time).

He thinks Im nice! Yeah, he is new lol

Rob, we get asked questions a lot and when we give answers, some people argue with us. They get bad info from disgruntled employees, or they watched Smokey and the Bandit too many times then bash various companies. Companies we actually all work for and know these drivers are either lying or misinformed.

Here is a great example... the Hours of Service rules can seem complicated to new driver There is a provision that allows you to split your 10 hour break into a 2 and 8 hour break, with driving between the two.

A student in a school, who had never turned a key in a truck yet argued with us telling us we are wrong and don't get it. He confused the wording. To end the confusion, I posted pictures of my Qualcomm which records the hours and still he told me i was wrong. yeah, ok. When we continue to correct issues, it might seem harsh but we need future readers to understand that person is not knowledgable.

We also get many who come here.. "My brother's friend's uncle says he can teach me to drive a truck and then I am going to buy one and get rich." yeah ok. There are so many safety and insurance issues with that, but what do we know? his brothers friends uncle knows more.

Many get to training at a company then bash and complain about policies and procedures. They want the company to revamp their training to suit them. This is where attitude comes into play. They resist everything the trainer says, then once solo get into wrecks because they didnt listen, they didnt listen to us, but then want us to fix them getting fired.

The "they want us to tell them what they want to hear" is more in regard to BS we won't promote such as:

"Yes! you will make millions if you buy a truck"

"Yes, your company sucks and you rolled the truck while taking a curve too fast 9 months into your driving career, but it is your trainers fault,"

"Yes, it is dispatchers fault you were late cause he should know you sleep late"

"Yes, it is discrimination that you cant get a job for failing one non DOT drug test, a speeding ticket of 20mph over, and a felony conviction with prison time. SUE!!!"

We are here to help as much as possible. We will give you the truth, advice and information. What you do with it is up to you.

Many of my blog articles depict my personal mistakes. I humilitate myself to prevent others from making those mistakes.

But as you said, you wont understand the life until you live it. Every student i get says "This is so much harder than i expected". Every new CDL holder thinks he is now a truck driver but then realizes school was the easy part...as hard as it was.

My current trainee said, "Tell your readers to sleep in a cardboard box in the furthest part of their yard when they are sick, and then they get a taste as they trek in the dark to the bathroom."

The turn over rate is high because they include the 70% of people who get sent home from orientation for lying or hiding their drug, dmv , criminal record or cant pass the DOT physical. Others never pass the test. Still, the ones who remian cannot handle the responsibility or the lifestyle.

But please. ask away