A Thank You, And A Promise To Our Community

When I first found this site, I thought to myself that at times, comments by many appeared to be harsh and condescending. In the past 17 months, my eyes have been opened as to what type of personality is required to work in this profession. This job is NOT like working at a Walmart or some entry-level job that has a lower level of responsibility. This job requires a higher amount of emotional maturity, responsibility and accountability. I read some new posts and think to myself, "You have got to be kidding me." No, not towards those seeking assistance/answers due to a lack of knowledge about this career, but those who exhibit a total lack of self-awareness, accountability, responsibility or are in denial about their roles in a current negative situation. Sure, we could be "nicer", but I believe there is such already such a sense of entitlement in today's world, that coming down hard with The Trucking Truth is at times, definitely required. Brett and all of the moderators have kept things real and people considering coming into this profession or are already in it need that bout of realism. Thank you Brett.

I’m so thrilled we’re having this conversation. We love this community and we’re so passionate about helping new drivers succeed in this industry. Thank you to everyone for the awesome feedback. 

Let’s get back to being informative, helpful, INSPIRING and FACTUAL. Bringing the TRUCKING TRUTH can be RAW TRUTH, without being RAW IN DELIVERY.

Very well said, Rick. I totally agree.

I have some coaches I work with myself, and I just had a conversation with one of them about this situation. I told him, “I’ve always felt we should give people the cold, hard facts without worrying about being sensitive in our delivery.” 

He said, “Well that’s just your ego talking. That’s how you absolved yourself from the responsibility of being compassionate and delivering your message with empathy and thoughtfulness. You’ve put the blame on the listener. You blamed them for being too soft to handle your truth instead of holding yourself to the higher standard of delivering the truth in a way that made them feel supported and good about themselves.” 

He’s damn right I did. 

I thought it was easier to deliver the message the way I wanted to deliver it instead of delivering it the way our community wanted it. I thought the information was the only thing that mattered. I should have realized that a person won’t hear our message or act upon the information if they’re offended or embarrassed. They won’t come to us again if they don’t walk away feeling like we support them and that they’re safe coming to us for help. 

Brett! I’m with packrat I thought you were leaving for a second and I was like “NNNOOOOOOO!!!!!”

Thanks! I can assure you we’re not going anywhere. We have many years of work ahead of us yet, and we love what we do!

Many of you mentioned how important it is to have a thick skin and approach this career with a high level of personal responsibility. Both are true. Over the years we’ve used “tough love” as a wake-up call to people who weren’t taking the right approach to trucking or treating it with the proper seriousness it deserves.  

On that note, I’m a big fan of sitcoms and twice this week someone slapped a close friend across the face for having a terrible idea. I was howling with laughter. On television that kind of tough love is hysterical. In real life, it’s the wrong approach. 

We must stress personal responsibility and toughness. They are essential ingredients to success in trucking. We must make sure people have the right perspective, approach, and expectations. But we have to do so with empathy and through encouragement and inspiration. We can no longer use the excuse that it’s ok to blast someone because they needed it. 

We must give people what they need in a way that makes them feel welcome and supported. We must leave them feeling good about themselves and confident they can come to us for help anytime they need it. If we do that, we’ve done our job at the highest level, and that’s what we aspire to be - the very best. 

I’ve noticed over the past few days that the tone in our forum has improved dramatically and the participation level has increased. I also feel far more relaxed than I have in the past. I used to worry that people weren’t getting the message. I felt like we really had to drive our message home. 

Now I feel people will be excited to hear what we have to say because they know they’ll walk away with great information and the support of our entire community.

I’m obsessed with getting better at everything we do, and we all love helping people succeed in this industry. I have an enormous amount of pride for what we’ve accomplished over the years and tremendous admiration for all of you who have contributed your time and knowledge to make this possible. It’s a blessing to have so many amazing people donate their time and share their knowledge with the community. You’ve helped more people than you can imagine get their careers off to a great start and you’ve raised the level of professionalism for our industry. 

What you’ve accomplished is truly amazing. You should be incredibly proud. I can’t thank you enough. 

Brett,

Been "laying low" on this one. Now my $.02...

I have to say I am EXTREMELY IMPRESSED with how this topic (and you personally) have grown. I was a bit dismayed (briefly) by the "tough love" Brett "Love Fest". As a recovering addict I am acutely aware of the difference between enabling (bad behavior) and "tough love". My family's enabling probably helped keep me in active addiction and delayed my recovery. Their tough love saved my life. Sometimes we have to let people make their own mistakes. Sometimes we can only "plant the seed" which may later take root... or not! We say we "carry the message... NOT the addict!" But tough love requires both love and toughness.

Having been on "both sides" here (needing to be called on behaviors and attitudes) and benefitting from love and support (over multiple issues) I am pleased and honored to still be a welcomed member and contributor. Even more so now!

I think we could also benefit from a recovery approach of "making suggestions" - sometimes the "suggestion" is like putting on a parachute before jumping out of the plane. It's just a suggestion, but...

As in recovery, bad things can happen when people don't make "good" choices. But walking that fine line between giving good advice firmly with compassion ultimately is what will REALLY set up apart from the others.

Now as for another 12-step principle - "Attraction rather than promotion"... how about TruckingTruth.com bumper stickers and little cards at truck stops? Finding this place "sooner than later" also has a huge impact!

There have been a few times I've just shaken my head and not replied to a thread due to how its played out. Overall though I feel this forum does a great job of giving the facts without sounding like someone's parents (as a recent thread claimed). Usually those threads are related to failed drug tests or accidents that the poster is trying to downplay the seriousness in. Totally cliche to say, but often times I feel our members are too passionate about safety that they are enraged to hear someone say they've driven under the influence for 10 years and just now got caught. The message up top definitely is a good reminder of how we're different than the other places. However, I worry that we don't get anymore

*mic drop*

from Brett

I have waited to reply to this thread for a purpose. I needed to be in "read-only" mode for a while, up until now...

As one of the Toughest - "Tough Love" givers on here, my focus has always been to "tell it like it is" to the best of my ability and "ratchet-it-up" if an individual or individuals dare to spar with me. If my tone or delivery is harsh, many times it's deliberate. But "harsh" an adjective, is a perception, each of us having varying opinions of what-is and what-isn't harsh. SO...to say I haven't given this serious thought is false. To say I haven't gone back in time to reread some of my skirmishes with non-believers is also false. I have, and honestly there are several recent examples I'd do-over if given the chance. Although I do not completely agree (being honest) with every aspect of every response to Brett's initial post, conceptually I think it's the right thing to-do, temper the (my) delivery so as not to unintentionally offend or scare someone away. If my delivery approach impacts someone's ability to understand the message, or distracts from the message entirely, then in reality, I am basically ineffective. Do any of you believe that's what I want?

No. Hell no.

I am on here because I like to teach, and share what I know. And I am very passionate about many aspects of this profession, especially safety, focus (or lack of) and lack of accountability. The problem is, when someone lacking any experience challenges me or us repeatedly, I get abrasive and aggressive. Trust me when I say this...it is very difficult for me to bite my tongue and shy away from heated, contrarian exchanges. But no-longer will I escalate the situation, not sure about the "how" in every situation but the intent will be there. The "good of the whole" in this case, is far more important than stating something with ultra high-impact to the extent it scares someone off or leaves their eyeballs bleeding. I have stated in several emails with Brett that it's a fine line we walk...the division between accepting only truth and squelching the untruth. It's not easy for me...perhaps my generation or my blue-collar, working class upbringing, to sprinkle pixie-dust on something or someone I vehemently disagree with or am opposed to. Like all of you, posting here is not my job, but I take it seriously and want every single person who passes through here to be successful. You have my word on that.

Like many things we experience in life, this forum is a constant work in-progress. And why not? That is what separates us from all the rest. Self-assessment, awareness, ability to adjust and strive to improve is at the heart of what we do as truck drivers. Adopting the same approach in how I conduct my forum business is what I will try to do.

Peace.

Trust me when I say this...it is very difficult for me to bite my tongue and shy away from heated, contrarian exchanges.

I very much respect your skill in making your points in the forum. You remind me of a professor that I had in college who would mark up my writing with his "vicious blue pen." His caustic guidance made me a better writer.

Given that you appear to relish "heated contrarian exchanges," I have often thought about how I would like to engage you should we ever meet. Here's my idea.

We pick a topic about which neither one is an expert. We flip a coin as to who argues which side. Then we just go at each other until we are exhausted.

If my delivery approach impacts someone's ability to understand the message, or distracts from the message entirely, then in reality, I am basically ineffective.

That's the realization I've come to lately about myself. I've always disliked the saying, "It's not what you say, it's how you say it" because I feel people should focus on the message, not on their feelings about the delivery. But I've come to accept that it's impossible to separate our feelings from the equation. We're all affected by the tone and the intent of the message.

We often try to get our message across using a virtual smack upside the head if someone is reluctant to accept our advice. We know what we're talking about so we've taken the view that people should accept our advice without argument. Our visitors feel disrespected by that approach so they dig in their heels and fight back. It becomes a downward spiral.

If we always focus on being empathetic, encouraging, and inspiring, we won't have that tone and we won't take that approach so people won't feel disrespected. I've really focused on that lately and it's surprisingly easy to do. It also feels good, and it's more effective.

it's a fine line we walk...the division between accepting only truth and squelching the untruth.

This has been another problem for us. We don't take the approach that Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, and Amazon take where anyone can say anything they like and the reader must figure out who to believe. We set a much higher standard for ourselves. We take responsibility for everything on this website, no matter who says it. If you read it here on Trucking Truth, you can trust it.

That has led to big problems with people who spread misinformation, have misconceptions about the industry, or recommend an approach that will not produce good results. We feel the need to correct people so our information remains high quality and trustworthy. Setting a high standard and ensuring the integrity of our information is the right thing to do, but we must do it the right way. We will no longer beat people over the head with our truth. We must be better than that, and we will. It will be easy if we focus on our motto - to empathize, encourage, and inspire.

I think it is important to recognize that there indeed exists a duality (or more for that matter). If we take the time to get to know each other as unique individuals, as students, as leaders and potential leaders, we can learn to adjust teaching styles. That is my opinion. And all that begins with a search for the truth...trucking truth! Lol sorry, I couldn't help myself.

But back to the subject matter at hand, we each also bring our unique personalities to the table. I like Trucking Truth and am happy to be able to be a part of this community. As we keep moving forward, I am excited to see the past, present, and future fruits of our labors.

Thank you for that great letter Brett. I have not logged on to the site in a long time. But it still remained a must read when ever I needed a trucking answer. I have gone through quite a bit in the past four years driving and this forum has helped me tremendously. From the test prep to drivers diaries, this site is a must read for new drivers and informational to us more experienced. I have recommended this site to anyone who has ever asked me a question about trucking. The vehicle walk around is cemented into my brain (Go Prime). Anyway, again this is the first time I have logged in since maybe 2016 because my feelings were hurt on a long stressed out night when I asked a rookie question and felt offended with some of the responses. It felt like everyone wanted to answer better than the other instead of remembering their first time in that instance and teaching from situation. (Again, I may have been a little more sensitive than usual that day. Mood swings are a constant the first year on the road.) Trucking Truth is great for truckers and those interested in trucking. It will be nice to see the site a little more empathetic, in remembrance of when we all were rookies. With out Trucking Truth I might not have made it this far. Having a place to come to where you will find an answer to every truck driving situation is *********** great. Would have loved to share my owner operator period. Hopefully in the future we can openly discuss the bad (I know the site’s beliefs and I respect that) as well as “the you won’t get rich” but you can maybe have a little bit more control of your time while making the same amount of money. I know if I could make the same money I make now (company driver) as I could being a writer (my dream) I would jump at the chance. I don’t see why a driver can’t be a lease driver (self employed dream) to be in more control of their schedule.

I've ruffled some feathers in here at times. Usually I don't even understand how I did it. People are too sensitive. Sometimes I'm thinking I'm helping someone and they get all offended and end up quitting the forum completely. It bothers me, and I end up beating myself up and trying to figure out ways to come across as more helpful.

I realize there are better times for me to jump in on some discussions. I try not to get involved too heavily on a sensitive subject if I'm really exhausted. I've found I can be a little caustic when I should be in bed instead of trying to lay out reasons why things work the way they do in trucking. There's been plenty of times where I'll just lay low and let others handle a discussion. Sometimes just being quiet is better than being misunderstood.

Sometimes somebody will bait us into a conversation. I'm refusing to respond to New Beginning's question, "I don’t see why a driver can’t be a lease driver (self employed dream) to be in more control of their schedule." See how big a Man I'm trying to be?

Why in the world would you try to throw questions about leasing trucks and being an owner/operator into this conversation? I don't know. But, if you really want to discuss those things start a separate conversation. Don't just insert it in here like that. Okay... that's all I have now. I hope I'm not sounding like I'm on a rant. I'm really not.