Need Help With Issue

I’m calling shenanigans on this thread. This is a fictional story.

I’m calling shenanigans on this thread. This is a fictional story.

Wouldn't be the first one. Remember the one about 3 years ago; the 'male' trainee, getting sexually propositioned by his 'female' trainer ?!?!? Confirmed URBAN LEGEND!

LoL.

~ Anne ~

ps: as a FEMALE (since non have chimed in,) I'd actually 'appreciate' some tips on womanhood on the road, LoL! Nails, how to keep them, etc...! Mine are real but still kinda 'nice!' Daisy Dukes.. nawh, not at my age, haha!

Seriously, O/P .. no advice at all. Asked MY driver/husband ... and he said he'd not be able to by any means...handle what YOU are atm. Then again, he's old.. What IS your age group, btw??? I wouldn't MIND at ALL .. TRAINING W/him/her. Kinda like hanging out w/Cam & Mitch, ... to me!

Millionmiler24 ?

Big Scott ?

PackRat ?

PJ ?

Old School ?

Seriously, have been waiting on a few 'set in their ways' hands to chime in. TBH.

Hi Anne,

I just turned 40.

Hi Anne,

I just turned 40.

Well, hmmm. I figured you were younger. Sure wish I had 'advice' for you. I don't. Please let us know how things turn out & what you decide, good sir. I wish you the best, in whatever path you choose.

~ Anne ~

Craig. I would give you my perspective to just deal with it. I could tolerate it and I might even prefer your trainer if he's nice and easy to get along with. That's far more important than being weirded out. But I have to consider that you are not me.

So if you can't stand it. Here's how to carefully create a PC message to your training manager.

...

Actually, never mind. I'm drawing a blank. There is probably no way you can switch trainers without this coming off as bad. Your training manager will see through it and so will your trainer. It would be incredibly awkward. So you need to find something else he's doing wrong. Did he yell at you and make you feel uncomfortable?

Another idea is to intentionally fail at something. Start failing at backing the trailer, for example. Just completely start sucking at it. When your trainer inevitably gets frustrated, then request another trainer stating you feel like you need a third, different perspective on how to help you learn.

In this way, it becomes an argument that it's your fault, not his. You spare him his feelings and don't come off as a homophobe, which is what I think you are trying to accomplish.

Have you tried speaking to him man to man and telling him exactly what is making you uncomfortable? If his harmless flirting on the CB is bothering wait till you hear some of the other stuff people say.

So many people struggle to find a halfway decent trainer to me it seems you have one. I Personally would rather have a good trainer I disagree with rather than a bad trainer I agree with. Because one your time of his truck is up you will never have to see him again but his lessons will set up with a career for life.

Technically any sort of "annoying behavior" can constitute as harassment. The daisy duke shorts can be sexual harassment. And yes it is a hostile work environment. It is how the person perceives things and your perception is that you are being annoyed/harassed and made uncomfortable.

If you want to change trainers, tell them you feel uncomfortable with the sexualized attire and flirting. As a woman I make it a point not to show cleavage _(although I have a lot of it) and other things that could entice. If a honest loyal married guy was around my exposed breasts 24/7 wouldnt that make him uncomfortable? Probably.

What if you were gay? Wouldn't that be tempting? And honestly no one knows if you are or not.

Understand though that all complaints stay in a trainers permanent record. Should this be on his record?

Change trainers and concentrate on your training. You can even use his demeanor as a distraction from learning.

Thanks Kearsey, solid suggestions as usual from yourself.

Steven, I’m not going to create a problem or do something stupid to get out of this situation. I will either request a new trainer regardless of how it looks or ride it out. I’m not going to compound the problem.

Bobcat, no i haven’t spoken to him man to man. I wasn’t sure if it would be appropriate in this regard. Also, it’s not just flirting on the cb, it’s everything Ive posted and just the situation in general. You can always turn a cb off/down if needed. This is a situation I’m in 24/7.

The problem is the over the top flamboyance, daisy dukes, flirting, and just the in general man trying to be a woman. It’s absolutely disgusting. If I say one wrong word to him or to my driver manager I could be seen as being homophobic.

Well you are, so...

No, he's not. You think a company would force a female trainee to ride with a male trainer? I could give a rat's ass what one does with their genitalia but I refuse to get caught up in this current atmosphere of you MUST abide by this otherwise you are a (whatever)-phobe.

I'm a conservative, but grew up in the bay area, lived in SF. I'm also a musician, have played music with extremely flamboyant gay musicians, it never effects our working relationship. I also had a guitarist that wore make up and women's night gowns from the 60s. He constantly had tons of very attractive female partners, even though first glance would have assumed him flamboyant and gay.

On the flip side of it, it sounds like your trainer's behaviors and dress certainly fit the definition of sexual harassment depending on what your company defines as SH. I know that certain companies have dress codes that prohibit ripped denim, revealing clothes, etc.

In short, sounds like it's your decision to make, if we're being true to conservative values, we must seek to not regulate others behavior rather our own, especially using government and group policy