Need Help With Issue

I understand - and it is unfortunate - that if a person finds it difficult to be around another person whose race, religion or sexual preference falls in the minority, some people immediately assume that that person hates the minority simply for being a member of the minority. No other reasons are considered.

Well said, I fully agree.

If I say one wrong word to him or to my driver manager I could be seen as being homophobic.

Well you are, so...

Why would you say that? He's stating he's uncomfortable with the conduct of this (obviously) highly sexualized individual. That doesn't make him homophobic.

Case in point: Many years ago I drove a van delivering pharmaceuticals. The guy training me for a week was constantly telling dirty jokes (actually reading them to me from a collection he put together), giving details of acts with women he said he'd been with; even boasting on how he cheated on his wife. I had enough and told him to knock it off. He didn't. I reported him to management and he was terminated for sexual harassment.

The OP is asking for advice. The last thing he needs is self-righteous judgment from someone who isn't exposed to it.

Turtle would say that because, while he can't be certain, the original posters comments seem to clearly indicate his issue is with the Trainer's sexual orientation reason behind his behavior. Comments like this:

the in general man trying to be a woman. It’s absolutely disgusting

are pretty indisputable evidence. Your "Case in Point" is probably not relevant to this situation. Your issue was not with what the Trainer was or believed, but entirely with what his actions entailed. If that Trainer was white, black, Muslim, female, gay, straight, or even a Turtle, it wouldn't change anything about your discomfort with those actions.

The original poster just needs to ask himself one question:

If the Trainer were female and wearing those clothes, speaking in that manner, and flirting with others on the CB, would the OP be offended and disgusted or just view the Trainer as a quirky individual?

If the OP would still be offended and find the behavior disgusting, then he has a valid reason for requesting a change and the Trainer is likely guilty of creating a sexually charged/hostile work environment.

If the OP would be okay with said behavior, then his issue is based in homophobia and/or sexual discrimination.

(Personally, I find the Trainer's behavior, as described, to be highly unprofessional. But recognizing we are viewing it via the tint of someone who finds the Trainer disgusting, some of it may not be as severe as indicated. And while cabs are our rolling offices, going OTR makes them our homes too so some leeway needs to be allowed for drivers to be themselves in this "life meets work" environment.)

Troll or not, I'm glad the OP came here and started this topic. It's a situation that probably happens more and more frequently, and discussions such as this, though often lively, are necessary so that we can keep moving forward.

I too am sick of this PC culture, where people are afraid to speak their minds for fear of being labeled something or another. I'll fiercely defend anyone's right to think or feel in whatever fashion they choose. That includes the gay person's right to their own lifestyle, as well as the homophobe's right to disapprove. Although I'd advise Craig to stay on the truck, I'd also defend his decision to come off if it was too uncomfortable for him.

My comment was simply to highlight the contrast between the op's comments and his fear that he could be seen as being homophobic. Several of you defined the label homophobe as a bad thing. That's on you. I never said that. In fact I said just the opposite. My belief is still that Craig fits squarely into the very definition of the word.

But here's the thing: It's okay for him to feel that way. Who says it's bad to stick to your beliefs? Not me. Don't try to put that on me.

If your religion, values, or anything else prevents you from accepting the gay lifestyle, then OWN IT! I didn't say it was hate. I didn't say you must abide by societal rules, lest you be deemed a "whatever"phobe. I simply believe there's a clear definition here. "Woke" definitions don't work for me. I don't let mainstream society tell me how to think, feel, or speak.

You don't have to agree with me, that's cool. I support that too.

Apologies, Turtle, If what I said implied anything concerning you beyond just agreeing with your statement about OP's comments indicating homophobia.

I don't believe I said anything along the lines of homophobia making a person "bad". What you feel is what you feel. What makes someone "good" or "bad" is the actions they take based on those feelings. Can the OP ask for a Trainer change if reasoning is based in homophobia? Most companies would not accept it as many states have outlawed discrimination based on sexual orientation to go along with national bans on discrimination based on race, sex, religion, etc. (Meaning the company could get in trouble if it altered how it treated the Trainer due to OP's homophobia.)

What's interesting is how similar situations are treated. I am a hunter and eat meat. What if an ardent vegan was assigned to me and thought my Nosler hat and burger enjoyment were disgusting and asked for a new Trainer? Seems the law supports that. I don't have an answer for why I could be made to feel discriminated against for being a carnivorous hunter, but another guy cannot be discriminated against because he wants to be a girl.

What if the Trainer was black and the Trainee was racist?

I personally don't support the Trainee asking for a new Trainer in any of those three situations, no matter how uncomfortable he is, unless the Trainer actions press upon the Trainee, such as the gay Trainer flirting with the Trainee, the meat eater trying to get the vegan to eat a burger, the black Trainer talking about hating white people.

No worries, KeepingOn. My comments weren't directed at you or anyone else in particular. That was just my first real chance to revisit this thread, and it happened to fall immediately after your post.

Well said and glad you chimed in I was at a loss for the right words

Technically any sort of "annoying behavior" can constitute as harassment. The daisy duke shorts can be sexual harassment. And yes it is a hostile work environment. It is how the person perceives things and your perception is that you are being annoyed/harassed and made uncomfortable.

If you want to change trainers, tell them you feel uncomfortable with the sexualized attire and flirting. As a woman I make it a point not to show cleavage _(although I have a lot of it) and other things that could entice. If a honest loyal married guy was around my exposed breasts 24/7 wouldnt that make him uncomfortable? Probably.

What if you were gay? Wouldn't that be tempting? And honestly no one knows if you are or not.

Understand though that all complaints stay in a trainers permanent record. Should this be on his record?

Change trainers and concentrate on your training. You can even use his demeanor as a distraction from learning.

I can promise it will never be an issue on my truck.

That’s to bad that happened Bro !! One of my little brothers a gay man!! And I sent him this post and asked him how he felt about it and if I would last with a gay trainer and he about died laughing if your not comfortable with something it gonna affect your training and asking for a new trainer doesn’t have to be a firing offense I needed someone just as rough and tumble as myself to get anything in my heAd learning wise and I got 1 they usaully ask you before you head out with a trainer any way

For what it’s worth, this is a very personal issue for me, because I have LGBTQ in family, one of whom is female-presenting and was beaten within an inch of his life and hospitalized. I’m not offended just for the sake of being offended.

Arguing over gas prices and who is worse, Trump or Biden, because of commodity taxes and regulation, etc., has a place here on this forum because it directly affects every truck drivers’ income and day to day life.

Coming in here and impugning an entire class of people as “absolutely disgusting” is unacceptable and has no place on this forum.

Sometimes it’s as easy as that. Let’s say you have a “to-do” list that’s way too long. You can fret. You can resent it. You can wish it were different. Or you could just start taking care of things one by one until they’re all done. Problem solved.