Dad Won’t Let Me Start A Career In Trucking

Another spot-on post, Old School.

So, how about you telling us who was about to hire you when your Daddy said no.

I think you put more on your dad than is necessary. You aren't really available for a job because you haven't done the things necessary to land a job. Poor old dad gets all the blame, but you are a grown man who can't get hired. I'm sorry you feel you have to blame it all on daddy. You have an old stale license and nobody will hire you. That's the problem. Dad may not like the idea, but he's not the reason you can't get a job.

Hello, i need an advice

Cut loose from your parents free rent and meals. Take some responsibility for your own career. You've given your parents reign over your life by living on their goodwill and charity. Grow up man. Grow a pair and choose your own destiny. We can't help you as long as you are still permanently attached to the teets that nurtured you through your childhood. As it is right now they expect you to be around there helping them with their own dreams. You've got dreams of your own, but no ability to make them happen under your own power. You are helpless. You've got to liberate yourself.

I'm pretty much convinced your dad is right. This is going to be too hard for you. You are way too dependent on others to have the independence of an OTR trucker. It is all a romanticized dream of yours. The reality of it will shake you. That's probably why you have a license but never had a job. Maybe you can enjoy just having the dream, but we aren't really able to help you figure out how to do that.

Ryan, I am not a trucker but a rookie trucker's dad. Our son is 23 and decided to drop out of college in December 2019 as he was struggling and didn't have a passion for that. He had sought counseling and came home to let us know he was dropping out of college and wanted to be a trucker. He thought we were going to be very disappointed in him. We were not. I told him I'd be disappointed if he didn't do something he enjoyed and/or if I was going to have to support him for the rest of his life.

Last Saturday when he was on home break we visited with an aunt and uncle of mine who hadn't seen Michael since last summer. It was an interesting conversation as the uncle, a retired engineer, was inquiring as to how Michael reached this decision and if he liked it. Michael said he wasn't sure what to do but said he liked driving and traveling and it seemed like a good fit and he has enjoyed it, especially with the company he's at now.

I own a farm and it would have been convenient for ME if he had decided he would farm. I grow specialty orchard crops and I can't just abandon these so I don't know what I will do when I decide I can't handle the work and want to retire. But that's not his problem, it's mine. I wonder if your dad is wanting you to make things easier for him by fixing up the old trucks someday.

Michael has just over 10 months in this job and made just under $1,600 last week which is pretty darn good. He was supposed to be home for 2 days after being on the road for 12 days but they didn't have another load for him until after 3 days and he was dying to get back on the road. He gets to park his truck here when he is off and we don't charge him rent and he is saving about 75% of his net paycheck. If he started blowing money we would charge him rent.

I think you just need to sit down and have a good discussion with dad and tell him you feel you need to make the move now and ask him to understand you need to do this yourself. One thing pointed mentioned above by someone else about blaming daddy reminded me something I learned years ago about negotiating skills. Don't say "you won't let me", etc. but use "I feel I need to do this now". Keep it about what you want to do and how you feel and not about the other person. Dad can't argue about how you feel.

Good luck.

Note to others: I have previously referred to our son as "Jay" just to avoid any troubles while he was transitioning to his new employer but am now using his real name.