What Would You Do?

Having a really hard time right now. I started CDL school, my 2nd week I had 3 deaths in my family within days of each other. So I missed a week. I paid for this school with no loans, I borrowed against my retirement. So this is everything to me. I have always wanted to drive.

The school I’m enrolled in has not been a pleasant experience. I’ll be the first to admit, it took several days for me to finally get backing straight down. I’ve never drove before, double clutching isn’t easy and I’ve been trying my best. Today we practiced cross overs. The instructor I’ve had before has made me feel like a failure, he has no patience, insulted me and made me so upset that I had to get out of the truck and let him drive. When I asked him what I was doing wrong, he said: I don’t know wtf you are doing. He told me that was enough and I needed to back it up and we were thru! It was either leave or cuss him out. I look at this as my career so I left the cab. I’m not a wuss but when I get mad I cry. I went in sat down, didn’t say anything to anyone and he runs and tells all the men I got emotional and just left. That isn’t what happened. I know you have to be tough but verbally abused isn’t helpful in my opinion. The owner comes out to me and says he can only teach me so much but I have to control MY emotions. Nothing about his verbally assaulting instructor. I nodded my head because honestly, I was shocked, MAD and he said this in front of the whole class. So everyone was whispering about me all day and laughing. Last week, one of the men texted me to tell me all the men were talking about my panties. I did not know this person and he got my phone number from files they left just laying around the office.

Other instructors have made remarks about me missing and tell me I should have been studying while I was burying my loved ones.

I’m just so frustrated, I feel angry, embarrassed and worried. I feel like trying to talk to the owner is useless. So, what if anything is going to help my situation? I honestly, feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve sacrificed so much to make this dream a reality and don’t want to quit but I can’t function in that type of toxic atmosphere.

Having a really hard time right now. I started CDL school, my 2nd week I had 3 deaths in my family within days of each other. So I missed a week. I paid for this school with no loans, I borrowed against my retirement. So this is everything to me. I have always wanted to drive.

The school I’m enrolled in has not been a pleasant experience. I’ll be the first to admit, it took several days for me to finally get backing straight down. I’ve never drove before, double clutching isn’t easy and I’ve been trying my best. Today we practiced cross overs. The instructor I’ve had before has made me feel like a failure, he has no patience, insulted me and made me so upset that I had to get out of the truck and let him drive. When I asked him what I was doing wrong, he said: I don’t know wtf you are doing. He told me that was enough and I needed to back it up and we were thru! It was either leave or cuss him out. I look at this as my career so I left the cab. I’m not a wuss but when I get mad I cry. I went in sat down, didn’t say anything to anyone and he runs and tells all the men I got emotional and just left. That isn’t what happened. I know you have to be tough but verbally abused isn’t helpful in my opinion. The owner comes out to me and says he can only teach me so much but I have to control MY emotions. Nothing about his verbally assaulting instructor. I nodded my head because honestly, I was shocked, MAD and he said this in front of the whole class. So everyone was whispering about me all day and laughing. Last week, one of the men texted me to tell me all the men were talking about my panties. I did not know this person and he got my phone number from files they left just laying around the office.

Other instructors have made remarks about me missing and tell me I should have been studying while I was burying my loved ones.

I’m just so frustrated, I feel angry, embarrassed and worried. I feel like trying to talk to the owner is useless. So, what if anything is going to help my situation? I honestly, feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve sacrificed so much to make this dream a reality and don’t want to quit but I can’t function in that type of toxic atmosphere.

Sweetie, TAKE. A. DEEP. BREATH.

Nothing you've mentioned above shows ANYTHING that seems to make YOU weak. I lost FOUR family member in the last few months; two last Friday. If 'I' were in a school that I paid for... it would be a non issue. My way or by'way.

Again, why WE RECOMMEND company paid training. IE: Had you gotten on with Wilson, (let's say for example,) they might've excused you until their NEXT orientation/class. Sure, it may be a 'do over,' but... extra learning IS extra learning! On 'their' dime, too!!

As far as controlling your emotions, I believe it's a learned trait. My dad left us when I was six, my mom got sick at 13, passed when I was 16 .. .idk. It's not that I 'bottle' my emotions, whatsoEVER. I 'regulate' them. There's a LOT of this (needing to be!) in trucking.

Here's a for instance, before i get to your 'next' topic: My guy, who's been driving 20 plus years, CRIES at a sad movie we occasionally watch together on the weekend. I pinch my nose. He NEVER has cried in trucking......even when he almost killed a woman, not his fault.

I've got a SLEW of truckers I talk to on a daily. Helps me, help him ... if that makes sense. Even though I'm not on the road, I've been in the driver's seat on a permit, twice. Kids came in the way. I've made a LOT of valuable pals, right here. Many of us have emails in our profile.

It's only the 'biggest mistake' if you let it be. We ALL sacrifice SO MUCH, for our dreams. Our home is paid for, with my man's career, and me in the wings, waiting until the last kiddo is grown. Wouldn't have been, otherwise.

Re: the guy that texted you about the 'I ain't got no panties' or whatever the joke was, SHOULD BE REPORTED TO THE OWNER ASAP, and a full refund granted. PERSONALLY, THAT WOULD BE MY COURSE OF ACTION. I'm a TOUGH buttercup; life dealt me that hand. JMHO... FWIW.

GIrl, either buck up or nose dive, or .. delve out .. .if you could... on the Sexual Harrassment issue. Get your money back; get your bearings straight, and GO COMPANY PAID TRAINING. They will have an investment in YOU; not the other way around!

One of my 'idols' ... driving for MANY years, with her late husband and now solo, IDMtnGal .. will be up on her parking the rig break shortly, and will be replying; I sure did ask her to. She won't sugar coat anything, and her opinion might be TOTALLY opposite mine.

I wish you well, ma'am. The more that's in your bio, etc.. helps us help you. (ie: Location, school, etc...) JSYK!

Hugs going forward;

~ Anne ~

I’ll be the first to admit, it took several days for me to finally get backing straight down. I’ve never drove before, double clutching isn’t easy and I’ve been trying my best.

Today we practiced cross overs.

The instructor I’ve had before has made me feel like a failure, he has no patience, insulted me and made me so upset that I had to get out of the truck and let him drive. When I asked him what I was doing wrong, he said: I don’t know wtf you are doing. He told me that was enough and I needed to back it up and we were thru! It was either leave or cuss him out. I look at this as my career so I left the cab. I’m not a wuss but when I get mad I cry. I went in sat down, didn’t say anything to anyone and he runs and tells all the men I got emotional and just left. That isn’t what happened. I know you have to be tough but verbally abused isn’t helpful in my opinion. The owner comes out to me and says he can only teach me so much but I have to control MY emotions. Nothing about his verbally assaulting instructor. I nodded my head because honestly, I was shocked, MAD and he said this in front of the whole class. So everyone was whispering about me all day and laughing. Last week, one of the men texted me to tell me all the men were talking about my panties. I did not know this person and he got my phone number from files they left just laying around the office.

Other instructors have made remarks about me missing and tell me I should have been studying while I was burying my loved ones.

I’m just so frustrated, I feel angry, embarrassed and worried. I feel like trying to talk to the owner is useless. So, what if anything is going to help my situation? I honestly, feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve sacrificed so much to make this dream a reality and don’t want to quit but I can’t function in that type of toxic atmosphere.

You've never driven ANY vehicle before from age 15 to 43??? How did you get around? Or do you mean you haven't driven a manual before? If that's the case, double clutching is expected to be hard to do.

Not sure what "crossovers" are.

You needed to stay in the truck and cuss him out. You needed to get in his face and give him the what for about his attitude. It won't do any good to talk with the owner about him...the owner won't believe

As for getting a text from a classmate, do you still have the text message? That should never be erased until you get it resolved. If I were you, I would go to the owner and ask him how the guy got your number. Tell him that if he can't find out who gave it to the guy, then you will file a harassment complaint....not sure who you would file with, but I'm sure a lawyer can tell you. I would also tell him, if no one gave it to the guy, but he found it by going thru files, then your lawyer will be talking to him (owner). If he says he wants you gone, then tell him to refund your money and you will gladly leave.

Basically you want to chalk this up to being a BAD mistake on your part and get your money even partially refunded. THEN go to a company school.

Thank you for the reply, it makes me feel a little bit better. I slept on it and I just don’t feel like I can continue with a place that I’ve paid them to teach me and it’s such a toxic atmosphere. I am a joke to everybody at that school. When the instructors want to be ****** bag for each other they say: oh yeah go take her driving because I’m green. How am I supposed to learn while I’m being made fun of every day? I’m going to try to talk to the owner and share with him some of the things that I have pushed aside to try to get through this and hopefully he’ll give me a partial refund. BTW any paid training you recommend?

I have never drove a semi before. I’ve drove cars and other trucks for 30yrs.

I have all the original texts. I’m mad because I came back this morning, no one is speaking to me. Or asking me to do any of the exercises, maneuvers. Basically everyone is ignoring me. Which is fine but how can I finish my CDL if no one is helping me?

Thank you for the reply, it makes me feel a little bit better. I slept on it and I just don’t feel like I can continue with a place that I’ve paid them to teach me and it’s such a toxic atmosphere. I am a joke to everybody at that school. When the instructors want to be ****** bag for each other they say: oh yeah go take her driving because I’m green. How am I supposed to learn while I’m being made fun of every day? I’m going to try to talk to the owner and share with him some of the things that I have pushed aside to try to get through this and hopefully he’ll give me a partial refund. BTW any paid training you recommend?

I have never drove a semi before. I’ve drove cars and other trucks for 30yrs.

I have all the original texts. I’m mad because I came back this morning, no one is speaking to me. Or asking me to do any of the exercises, maneuvers. Basically everyone is ignoring me. Which is fine but how can I finish my CDL if no one is helping me?

We're always here to help, glad it did, a little bit, anyway.

I would TOTALLY recommend trying to get as much of a refund as you can, as Laura said also, and fill this out:

Apply For Paid CDL Training

This is EXACTLY how you can finish your CDL. You could be in real training, and earning (not paying!) in a weeks' time!

Wish you the best; stop back & let us know~!

~ Anne ~

I too had a hard time in school. My instructor even suggested I test on an automatic!!! I worked hard and never gave up. Prayers helped too. Now I hold a class A with no restrictions. Endorsements too. So just hang in there but yeah maybe get a refund and go to a company paid training for your CDL. If you ever have the opportunity to do long haul for a week or so to really see if truck driving is something you want to do I would suggest that. I am fortunate that my fiance drives with me and has had his own truck for 15 years. So I get to learn from the best and get lovin' at night. In all seriousness if you do local halls that's fine but if you plan on going cross-country you need to talk to other women truck drivers and see what you're getting yourself in for. Personally I should have done this many years ago but starting at 60 years old. I love driving the white line. You'll Be in my prayers

Having a really hard time right now. I started CDL school, my 2nd week I had 3 deaths in my family within days of each other. So I missed a week. I paid for this school with no loans, I borrowed against my retirement. So this is everything to me. I have always wanted to drive.

The school I’m enrolled in has not been a pleasant experience. I’ll be the first to admit, it took several days for me to finally get backing straight down. I’ve never drove before, double clutching isn’t easy and I’ve been trying my best. Today we practiced cross overs. The instructor I’ve had before has made me feel like a failure, he has no patience, insulted me and made me so upset that I had to get out of the truck and let him drive. When I asked him what I was doing wrong, he said: I don’t know wtf you are doing. He told me that was enough and I needed to back it up and we were thru! It was either leave or cuss him out. I look at this as my career so I left the cab. I’m not a wuss but when I get mad I cry. I went in sat down, didn’t say anything to anyone and he runs and tells all the men I got emotional and just left. That isn’t what happened. I know you have to be tough but verbally abused isn’t helpful in my opinion. The owner comes out to me and says he can only teach me so much but I have to control MY emotions. Nothing about his verbally assaulting instructor. I nodded my head because honestly, I was shocked, MAD and he said this in front of the whole class. So everyone was whispering about me all day and laughing. Last week, one of the men texted me to tell me all the men were talking about my panties. I did not know this person and he got my phone number from files they left just laying around the office.

Other instructors have made remarks about me missing and tell me I should have been studying while I was burying my loved ones.

I’m just so frustrated, I feel angry, embarrassed and worried. I feel like trying to talk to the owner is useless. So, what if anything is going to help my situation? I honestly, feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve sacrificed so much to make this dream a reality and don’t want to quit but I can’t function in that type of toxic atmosphere.

Lexington Lady,

Disclaimer: My opinion only of my own experience when I was in persuit of getting my Class A CDL.

CDL schools should not be using discrimination in any form. They need to be respecting and providing positive reninforcement of how to stay safe around different environments that entry level drivers may come across.

When they condone the negativity they are: *** Training you to be an unsafe and distracted driver. *** Setting the stage for a critical and dangerous failure event which = to getting you killed or you killing someone. *** Wasting your time and money. *** They are not living your life or helping it. Tell them "see ya... never again"

Bad Karma will eventually follow the instructors and the rest of the school staff if they don't change their negative mindset.

Request copies of everything documented in your student file, and dispute whatever you find untrue. Example: training policies, tuition contracts, refund policy, attendance/performance reviews, student application and so on.

Get with a different school that offers company paid training with tuition reimbursements and the like.

Here is a link of what truck driver training schools are suppose to be training you in and regulations to stay compliant with so as to avoid initiating an investigation from the Federal Motor Carrier Safety Administration:

https://www.ecfr.gov/cgi-bin/retrieveECFR?gp=1&ty=HTML&h=L&mc=true&n=pt49.5.380#sp49.5.380.f

You will need to research and know how to use all levels ( federal, state and local ) regulations/laws of government to protect yourself from unsafe ignorance and retaliation. It's not all butter and cream after upgrading to a Class A CDL. There is a life time of learning. You will learn that OSHA (toxic work environment), FMCSA , State Attorney General, Consumer Affairs, DMV , and other authorities are there to protect everyone from a variety of mistreatment.

WE ARE ALL BORN WITH GREATNESS..It's up to YOU to bring it out from within.

Hi Lexington Lady. I know I am 2 weeks late to your post, but I had to comment. I am new to trucking myself, still in training. And trucking aside, you are a human being and deserve to be respected as one. I know the industry is still male dominated, but it doesn't mean you should be somewhere where you're treated like you don't matter. There are plenty of schools that have some common decency, respect others. I too cry when I'm angry, it's not because I'm sad, I'm just that angry, I just try not to do it where others can see me(Lol). The only thing I wanted to say, was keep your head, command respect from others. And doing so doesn't require you being an a** to anyone. Know who you are and your purpose foe being where you are. If this is what you want you'll get it. EVERYBODY was new at trucking at some point. And the fact that you even went back after so much loss speaks volumes to you. I hope things work out for you.

Having a really hard time right now. I started CDL school, my 2nd week I had 3 deaths in my family within days of each other. So I missed a week. I paid for this school with no loans, I borrowed against my retirement. So this is everything to me. I have always wanted to drive.

The school I’m enrolled in has not been a pleasant experience. I’ll be the first to admit, it took several days for me to finally get backing straight down. I’ve never drove before, double clutching isn’t easy and I’ve been trying my best. Today we practiced cross overs. The instructor I’ve had before has made me feel like a failure, he has no patience, insulted me and made me so upset that I had to get out of the truck and let him drive. When I asked him what I was doing wrong, he said: I don’t know wtf you are doing. He told me that was enough and I needed to back it up and we were thru! It was either leave or cuss him out. I look at this as my career so I left the cab. I’m not a wuss but when I get mad I cry. I went in sat down, didn’t say anything to anyone and he runs and tells all the men I got emotional and just left. That isn’t what happened. I know you have to be tough but verbally abused isn’t helpful in my opinion. The owner comes out to me and says he can only teach me so much but I have to control MY emotions. Nothing about his verbally assaulting instructor. I nodded my head because honestly, I was shocked, MAD and he said this in front of the whole class. So everyone was whispering about me all day and laughing. Last week, one of the men texted me to tell me all the men were talking about my panties. I did not know this person and he got my phone number from files they left just laying around the office.

Other instructors have made remarks about me missing and tell me I should have been studying while I was burying my loved ones.

I’m just so frustrated, I feel angry, embarrassed and worried. I feel like trying to talk to the owner is useless. So, what if anything is going to help my situation? I honestly, feel like I have made the biggest mistake of my life. I’ve sacrificed so much to make this dream a reality and don’t want to quit but I can’t function in that type of toxic atmosphere.

Do not lose your patience and keep your mind calm, it is important to keep yourself calm in the driving career. If there is sadness today, then you will definitely get happiness tomorrow. This is the circle of life. Best of luck for your CDL school training.