It Keeps Changing

Agree ! Thanks I really should leave him home near people can check up on him. Once I get going maybe he will want to come with me sometimes

Tammy I feel for you in your situation. So far from what I am reading cfi may be your best shot given the details.

I’m not the lecture type. Nor do I judge anyone. But I’ve been around the block a few times.

I left home and went into the military at 17. It made me grow up. Your son has not had to grow up as of yet. It’s never too late. I raised 4 daughters as a single parent. Scariest part of my life. I taught each of them to be self sufficient, and they are.

9 years ago I retired and moved 2400 miles away from my kids. They were all grown and through college. I worry every day, but from a distance. I did what was right for ME after doing my duty to them. It was a shock, dad was no longer 5 minutes away. However they all did fine. We are always in contact and apart of each others lives, just from a distance.

You have to do YOU at this point in your life. His best place is probably where he is at, with friends around. He can learn to clean behind himself.

Training and starting in this industry is hard. No doubt about it. You need to be able to concentrate on your studies and new career with the least amount of distractions.

Just my cent and a half. Best wishes to you and your son!!

33 years old and needs people to check up on him. That's just sad.

Why on earth do people need yo check.up on a 33 year old grown man?! Unfortunately for the future of our Country, you situation is not unique. If they accept you, go to CFI. It seems ti be your only option to try to make a go at this considering it appears you will have to tow a 33. year old baby around fior the rest of your life.

Agree ! Thanks I really should leave him home near people can check up on him. Once I get going maybe he will want to come with me sometimes

Tammy I feel for you in your situation. So far from what I am reading cfi may be your best shot given the details.

I’m not the lecture type. Nor do I judge anyone. But I’ve been around the block a few times.

I left home and went into the military at 17. It made me grow up. Your son has not had to grow up as of yet. It’s never too late. I raised 4 daughters as a single parent. Scariest part of my life. I taught each of them to be self sufficient, and they are.

9 years ago I retired and moved 2400 miles away from my kids. They were all grown and through college. I worry every day, but from a distance. I did what was right for ME after doing my duty to them. It was a shock, dad was no longer 5 minutes away. However they all did fine. We are always in contact and apart of each others lives, just from a distance.

You have to do YOU at this point in your life. His best place is probably where he is at, with friends around. He can learn to clean behind himself.

Training and starting in this industry is hard. No doubt about it. You need to be able to concentrate on your studies and new career with the least amount of distractions.

Just my cent and a half. Best wishes to you and your son!!

Tammy, we try to help people. We aren't professional counselors. You probably need far more help than we can provide. We might be able to force you to think a little, and hopefully that can be good.

I've noticed several times that you like to say, "I do what I want." I hope you want your son to be responsible. I don't know what kind of friends you have who did nothing but put fear inducing tales into your mind about letting go of your child for their own good. I do not call those type people friends. They are something else. Friends help us grow and do the hard parts of becoming normal participants in society. Parenting is tough. It becomes ridiculous if we are still doing it for our children old enough to be raising their own children.

I'll make a few suggestions. They may not be feasible for you, but I'll give it a go anyways.

Find your son an inexpensive apartment. Pay his deposit and first two month's rent. Move him in there and tell him, "You are a big boy now. It is time for you to take care of you and I will take care of me." If you own your home, then rent it out to someone. If not then don't keep it up for yourself. Move out and live in a truck for a season. You don't want to leave a place for him to return to. Don't provide money for your son. Let him figure this out. He looks like a fine intelligent creature. Hunger has a way of driving us to be responsible. He's just never been afraid or hungry. You took all those feelings for him like a shield.

You are making great changes to your life. It is time for him to do the same. I know it will hurt like crazy, but you seem to know you have to do this. If you can't take the first simple steps I've laid out, then you need to forget trucking and just focus on getting some really good family counseling. The two of you are way overdue.

Your son loves his life, but he ought to be ashamed of it. He has used you miserably and enjoyed every minute of it. He is going to have to learn to be responsible. As it is now, he is nothing. He can't even claim the title of "son." No decent son would leach off of his mom like yours has. You may need to deal with the problems you guys have before getting into trucking. I've told you before that you don't want to use trucking as an escape. It really needs to be something you want to pursue. I fear you are so confused you don't know whether you are running and hiding or just trying to push some reset button, but I think you have got problems that need to be faced before you take this leap.

You are all right. Had him young and swore he would never have a hard life like I did. Started working my grandfathers seafood shop at 8 years old. I worked my butt off my whole life guess I thought by watching me would make him do the same. Instead I get you suffered your whole life killing yourself working why would you want that for me. Sometimes he leaves me speechless. Any way I got a good counceling session from you guys. Thanks next post my driving record and im shocked. I ordered it today and im not sure it will pass muster. fender benders but a couple in the past 10 years omg always something. ill get opinions when i put it up

Tammy, I've been following this discussion and you have gotten a ton of good advice. You have also gotten a lot of criticism. Despite the criticism you keep hanging in there and I see that as a very admirable quality about you. That is a trait every driver needs. I'm a parent and a grandparent and now my grandson is 17 and I see he is really pursuing his independence. He has one more year in high school and then I can guarantee he will be out of his mother's home faster than a speeding bullet. I have mixed feelings about this because I had a big part in raising him, but I also understand his need to be independent. When I saw that independent tendency in him, I had to discipline myself to back off. But he knows I'm still there for him even though I'm going back to driving. Of course we had a discussion about that and he thinks I should go for it. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In 10 years? Still responsible for taking care of him? I think you see yourself driving a truck, so you better get the process of cutting the cord started. Your situation didn't happen overnight and it won't be resolved overnight, but the sooner the better. As I understand it, many birds kick their offspring out of the nest if they overstay their welcome. Re-read the recent comment by Old School. You will not get better advice. And I'll say this about you: You seem to be a very determined woman. I hope you can successfully solve your problem and get started with the training process.

Thank you! In a bit im going to post my driving history and then I need real answers.

Tammy, I've been following this discussion and you have gotten a ton of good advice. You have also gotten a lot of criticism. Despite the criticism you keep hanging in there and I see that as a very admirable quality about you. That is a trait every driver needs. I'm a parent and a grandparent and now my grandson is 17 and I see he is really pursuing his independence. He has one more year in high school and then I can guarantee he will be out of his mother's home faster than a speeding bullet. I have mixed feelings about this because I had a big part in raising him, but I also understand his need to be independent. When I saw that independent tendency in him, I had to discipline myself to back off. But he knows I'm still there for him even though I'm going back to driving. Of course we had a discussion about that and he thinks I should go for it. Where do you see yourself in 5 years? In 10 years? Still responsible for taking care of him? I think you see yourself driving a truck, so you better get the process of cutting the cord started. Your situation didn't happen overnight and it won't be resolved overnight, but the sooner the better. As I understand it, many birds kick their offspring out of the nest if they overstay their welcome. Re-read the recent comment by Old School. You will not get better advice. And I'll say this about you: You seem to be a very determined woman. I hope you can successfully solve your problem and get started with the training process.