Is My Wife Being Discriminated Against?

My thoughts are to tell her to contact human resources, but I want to be sure it's the right advice.

She's a trainee at Prime, already cleared and badged. Everyone who came in with her is out daily driving locally with their trainer. And she was assigned a trainer too. Here's how it went.

He never started training her. He told her to get on YouTube and watch videos. She has been going to practice pre-trip inspections with whoever she can because for the last few days, that has been the only training available to her while her assigned trainer did who-knows-what. She is the only one who hasn't actually getting trained -- at all.

When her trainer took her on the tour, he made a few weird statements. He told her she'd have to leave everything -- everything! -- she brought in a locker when they go OTR , and that it'll be gone in 60 days. He told her not to keep her cellphone in her pocket, and listed things she wouldn't be allowed to eat or drink. This obviously creeped her out, seeing as she just met this man and was looking at the prospect of getting in a truck with him.

When he told her to watch Youtube videos, she contacted me and said that isn't how everyone else is training. So, I advised her to tell him she doesn't learn that way -- a polite and respectful hint that maybe he should do his damn job. He told her she "doesn't have the brain muscle" to learn.

She asked around about who to talk to, and I don't know the guy's title, but ended up trying to explain the situation to the next guy up the ladder. She never got as far as saying that she isn't being trained before he seized on her mention of basically being called stupid and made the entire meeting about her feelings. She got shut down, and told she'd meet with him and her trainer this morning.

So she shows up to that meeting and again never gets to state that she flat out wasn't being trained by her trainer at all. First she's informed he and her trainer had talked the night before. The next-guy-up cut her off when she began, and asked if this is the right time for her to do this. He brought up her family, the hurricane that's not even hitting us, and heavily implied she should be at home being momma. Before any talk about any of this could happen, the next-guy-up said he wanted to see if she and her trainer could "work this out," and her trainer said, "Nope!" without hesitation. The impression I get is that it was planned.

He then asked if he could pick his trainee. Asking that in front of her was obviously meant to say he doesn't like her. The next-guy-up said he'd try to find her a new trainer tomorrow. I don't know if I believe him.

Now, here are a few other details. She passed her permit test having studied on her own before she went to Prime. With a trainer flat not doing his job AT. ALL. she has taken initiative to seek out opportunities to learn and practice whatever she can. She is motivated, capable, and doing everything she is supposed to.

She's also the only heterosexual female in her group who isn't youthful. The other women are gay and in her words butch, or young and single. So the impression that I'm getting is that she doesn't come across like one of the guys, and she isn't some pretty young thing to stare at. I think they're discouraging her, going through the motions to make it look like they're doing what they're supposed to, and probably won't even try to do their actual job. I think they're trying to push her back home and into the kitchen.

The other women in her group backed her up every step of the way in this, and have already said they're glad she got away from that trainer.

There is no reason whatsoever for what they're doing that I can think of aside from discrimination. I hold a degree in physics. I've studied alongside NASA scholars. I've never seen someone as motivated nor taking as much initiative to learn as she is right now. In the military, I was happy to have soldiers under my leadership who did what they're supposed to like she is now. There is not a shred of legitimacy to their steamrolling her in the meeting or giving her a trainer who only pretended to take her under his wing.

But I don't want to give her bad advice. I'm not a trucker. This isn't my industry. There could be things I don't know about how training goes down. So what do you guys think? Should she contact HR? Wait and see what the next-guy-up does?

Contact- truckin along with kearsey- She works at Prime, has clout there, and has helped others. Go to her profile here, then pick the contact link.

Contact- truckin along with kearsey- She works at Prime, has clout there, and has helped others. Go to her profile here, then pick the contact link.

Please don't do this. Kearsey is absolutely wonderful and has helped so many of us. Unfortunately now is not the time. She's going through a really rough time currently after losing her mother and likely doesn't have the time or energy (check her latest YouTube video). She's helped so many of us, its only right we help her when she needs it.

Hopefully someone with direct knowledge of Prime can point you in the direction of who to talk to. I've often seen people mention a higher up guy named Stan when there has been issues with trainers. Kearsey had posted something a while back about Prime having the highest percentage of women drivers so discrimination is highly unlikely. I'm not trying to pass the blame but is it possible she hasn't told you everything? Often times when someone is struggling greatly they want to pass the blame to save face. Many trainers do it for the wrong reasons (extra money) and its probably a good thing she won't have to deal with that guy.

Contact- truckin along with kearsey- She works at Prime, has clout there, and has helped others. Go to her profile here, then pick the contact link.

Please don't do this. Kearsey is absolutely wonderful and has helped so many of us. Unfortunately now is not the time. She's going through a really rough time currently after losing her mother and likely doesn't have the time or energy (check her latest YouTube video). She's helped so many of us, its only right we help her when she needs it.

Hopefully someone with direct knowledge of Prime can point you in the direction of who to talk to. I've often seen people mention a higher up guy named Stan when there has been issues with trainers. Kearsey had posted something a while back about Prime having the highest percentage of women drivers so discrimination is highly unlikely. I'm not trying to pass the blame but is it possible she hasn't told you everything? Often times when someone is struggling greatly they want to pass the blame to save face. Many trainers do it for the wrong reasons (extra money) and its probably a good thing she won't have to deal with that guy.

I already emailed her before seeing this 😬

But I didn't give her my ol' lady's contact info, and won't take any offense if she just doesn't reply. Hopefully she'll just miss it in her inbox.

One, there is nothing wrong with a trainer asking a student to watch specific YouTube videos. I have shared some to help my students. I think you and your wife may have overreacted. She spoke to someone who said they would find her another trainer. Give that time. Sometimes one must wait for a trainer. There is no handholding in trucking. This is an industry for independent people.

Two, if there are young, under 18, kids at home, she needs to be there. Sorry if that offends anyone. Children need two parents.

One, there is nothing wrong with a trainer asking a student to watch specific YouTube videos. I have shared some to help my students. I think you and your wife may have overreacted. She spoke to someone who said they would find her another trainer. Give that time. Sometimes one must wait for a trainer. There is no handholding in trucking. This is an industry for independent people.

Two, if there are young, under 18, kids at home, she needs to be there. Sorry if that offends anyone. Children need two parents.

1. There IS something wrong with using YouTube as a substitute for training. That's not the same as asking for a video to be watched.

2. We are NOT overreacting by wanting her properly trained when her life and others' will depend upon it and she'll ultimately be paying for it too.

3. Your opinion about how households other than yours run doesn't matter. It's none of your business, and echoed by a company your opinion would be illegal.

Scott, gotta respecrfully disagree with you. There are a ****load of families that have to survive on two working parents, with kids of all ages. Many of those families have a parent (dad OR mom) living in a ****box country in a GP Medium, surrounded by sand and people that wanna kill them.

I was a cop for 28 years, and had to listen to similar commentary from old dogs and newbs as well (especially directed at women in the job). It never flew with me then, and shouldn't fly anywhere. We can't in one breath laud the benefits of the driving profession with recommendation to OTR to learn, and in the next breath tell ANYONE that they should stay home to raise the kids. My dad traveled 5 nights a week when I was growing up. Ya, it sucked. My mother, however, grabbed the bulls by the balls (all three of us boys) and managed the household. Gid Bless the OP for giving his wife the latitude to run with her goal.

Jeremy H., i do think Scott and others are correct tho. Give Prime a chance to make this work, I would advise your wife to stick it out until she sees what resolutions Prime comes up with. Sometimes personalities, idiosyncrasies, and perspectives can make the training situation miserable. Addressing those, and getting a trainer that has different pip's, is often what is needed for a succesful start or restart. A hasty exit could result in an inability to thrive in the profession.

This is not an easy thing, to let someone into your mobile office for weeks at a time. Some folks aren't, or stop being, right for it. Wishing you and Your Beloved well in this.

Two, if there are young, under 18, kids at home, she needs to be there. Sorry if that offends anyone. Children need two parents.

I'm cool with this energy-- IF-- you maintain the same energy when it comes to men who want to drive. Kids at home? Nope-- you better stay home because kids need 2 parents.

Two, if there are young, under 18, kids at home, she needs to be there. Sorry if that offends anyone. Children need two parents.

I'm cool with this energy-- IF-- you maintain the same energy when it comes to men who want to drive. Kids at home? Nope-- you better stay home because kids need 2 parents.

Absolutely right!!! To say it's the mother's place to be at home caring for the kids while the fathers out for weeks at a time is kinda BS. What's good for the goose is good for the gander and vice versa. There's no reason the father can't stay at home caring for his children while the wife is out earning a living. I've known several stay at home dads and they did a wonderful job of raising the children.