Is My Wife Being Discriminated Against?

I'm cool with this energy-- IF-- you maintain the same energy when it comes to men who want to drive. Kids at home? Nope-- you better stay home because kids need 2 parents.

That's why I went local out the gate.

I've known several stay at home dads and they did a wonderful job of raising the children

Same

To the OP,. I wouldn't look too much into the. Prime has no reason to railroad your wife. If they wanted her out, they could've done it a long time ago.

As for the trainer saying "nope' in that meeting, what was he supposed to say? No point in prolonging something that isn't going to work. Take it as a good thing. It's clear your wife wasn't going to learn in that environment and it would be a lot of unnecessary stress and frustration. There will be more than enough stress and frustration in the learning process, no need for additional.

Wait and see what happens with the next trainer. Please keep in mind that a trainer doesn't have to be nice and they don't have to be friends. This is such a small part of this journey, that it won't even matter once it's done. She just needs someone to teach her what she needs to learn and keep it moving from there.

Your wife also needs thicker skin. People can be nasty out there and they'll make rude comments all the time. She has to learn to let that roll off so it has no influence. Don't want to backing up distracted because you're thinking about what the shipper said to you.

Have your wife create an account and jump in. There's a great support system here with a lot of information. It also helps to hear (read) what happened straight from her.

This is where I will step in. Hi I'm the Mrs.. My trainer told me I didn't have the brain muscle to learn via rote memorization, there for calling me stupid. Yes my concerns were practically dismissed right out of the gate. I wasn't really being taught anything. I was having to learn the pre-trip inspection with my classmates, still doing that in the evenings or when they get the chance. I have almost my entire pre-trip down with no thanks to my trainer. I was actually willing to work stuff out. He wasn't. Thank you to those that believe a woman can work and shouldn't have to be pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.

There is no way anybody on this forum can give correct advice. Why? We don't have both sides of the story. Everything posted comes from the perspective of Jeremy and Ashley. Prime has not posted their rebuttal and will not do so for obvious reasons.

It's a waste of time to speculate on incomplete information. If Jeremy & Ashley believe they have been discriminated against, they should talk to a lawyer who can get both sides of the story.

My trainer told me straight up that the pre-trip was completely on me. He would obviously allow me to use the truck for practicing pre-trip but he did not go over it at all with me.

If you use Daniel B's pre-trip guide there's really no reason why you can't get a perfect score on the pre-trip.

"I was having to learn the pre-trip inspection with my classmates, still doing that in the evenings or when they get the chance. I have almost my entire pre-trip down with no thanks to my trainer."

I am confused. Are you in school, or out on the road with your trainer? The instructors at school usually go over the Pre-trip one time with the students, then the Student is responsible for learning it for their CDL test. If you are out in the truck with a trainer, it is not his responsibility to continue teaching you the Pre-trip.

This is where I will step in. Hi I'm the Mrs.. My trainer told me I didn't have the brain muscle to learn via rote memorization, there for calling me stupid. Yes my concerns were practically dismissed right out of the gate. I wasn't really being taught anything. I was having to learn the pre-trip inspection with my classmates, still doing that in the evenings or when they get the chance. I have almost my entire pre-trip down with no thanks to my trainer. I was actually willing to work stuff out. He wasn't. Thank you to those that believe a woman can work and shouldn't have to be pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen.

My trainer told me straight up that the pre-trip was completely on me. He would obviously allow me to use the truck for practicing pre-trip but he did not go over it at all with me.

If you use Daniel B's pre-trip guide there's really no reason why you can't get a perfect score on the pre-trip.

Yeah.. its my understanding that learning the pre-trip is up to the students themselves. That's why in every training diary you hear folks talking about practicing it over and over and over.

To the OP,. I wouldn't look too much into the. Prime has no reason to railroad your wife. If they wanted her out, they could've done it a long time ago.

I agree with this.

Here's another thought. It's well-known that companies may push your buttons sometimes to see if you really want this career or not. There is a segment of our population that believes in making newbies suffer in order to earn their place, so they treat newbies like garbage. If you seem soft, they'll push you that much harder to see if you'll quit. If you quit, they'll say you couldn't have handled the hard parts further down the road and it's better for everyone if you find out the easy way in the beginning. I don't know if this trainer is one of those people, but it's possible.

A driver will face a mountain of challenges early in their career. I wouldn't obsess about whether it's discrimination, or maybe he just believes in making newbies suffer, or maybe the guy is just a jerk! Who knows? It doesn't matter. I would get a different trainer and keep moving forward. It didn't work out with that trainer and it really doesn't matter why, as long as you can get a different trainer and continue.

I've never seen someone as motivated nor taking as much initiative to learn as she is right now.

Your work ethic and your attitude will be the two biggest factors in your success. Keep that amazing work ethic and keep an amazing attitude. You will have no trouble finding high-quality drivers and trainers that will be thrilled to help out. Sure, you'll find a few jerks along the way but don't let that trip you up. Be yourself. Set your own high standards and stick to them. You know what qualities a person needs to be successful, so show those qualities and stick to the plan.

Be your best self and keep after it with relentless determination, and you will succeed.

I'm confused too. I was under the assumption that you were in school, prior to training and this had instructors not a trainer yet. I would think that after you complete the school portion you would get a trainer, and go on to training OTR , but perhaps that's not the process at prime?

I'm also assuming it's similar to other carrier based programs. If so, we were shown pre trip once, given a paper with the entire pre trip on it and told to watch YouTube videos on it. It was up to us to work with other classmate and learn it. No further instructions were given prior to a mock test on it.

I'm also assuming it's similar to other carrier based programs. If so, we were shown pre trip once, given a paper with the entire pre trip on it and told to watch YouTube videos on it. It was up to us to work with other classmate and learn it. No further instructions were given prior to a mock test on it.

That's how it was for me at FedEx.

Welcome, Ashley. Glad you joined us

My trainer told me I didn't have the brain muscle to learn via rote memorization

A lot of people don't. There's so much that goes into a pretrip that it takes a lot of people struggle with it. Different people struggle with different things. For example, my classmate was a whiz at backing. It came to him naturally. It took me hours to learn how to straight back and a week to learn how to 45 and this was with 1 on 1 instruction. That same classmate struggled with the pretrip and I had it down in a week.

there for calling me stupid.

I thought he actually called you stupid. If he didn't and you just interpreted it that way, then it's irrelevant. You can't take your interpretation of something and run with it as fact.

You're going to encounter shippers and receivers that are having bad days and don't want to be there. Do you know who they're going to lash out at? Yep, the driver that can't really do or say anything back. You need to not let these things get to you.

My first day on my own, my first stop was giving me a hard time about my backing because he wanted the trailer lined up perfectly with his dock. My last stop of the day was mad because I got there a few minutes after closing and I was taking longer than others to back up. It was my first day, but he didn't care. Lots of slick comments and talking under his breath. Didn't bother me at all. It has no effect on my day at all.

I was actually willing to work stuff out. He wasn't.

I don't really blame him. He gave you guidelines based on how he teaches and it was clear it wasn't going to work.

Thank you to those that believe a woman can work and shouldn't have to be pregnant, barefoot, and in the kitchen

That's not what Scott said. He said homes with children need 2 parents present. Not the same thing. You have a problem with separating what's actually said and what you think was said and it's something you need to work on.

This very subject has been a big deal for years. I can't even start to remember how many similar conversations we've had in here through the years. This particular one wants to blame the problem on discrimination. Others have placed the blame elsewhere. I find the main problem being most newbies have false expectations of what their training should be like. They go into this with their preconceived ideas. When their training doesn't match up with their expectations, they start trying to develop reasons why. Those reasons always blame someone for the fault, which may not even be a fault in the first place.

Most of us learned pre-trip inspection on our own. We were given the information, and expected to memorize it for the exam. Do I perform my pre-trip inspections the way I memorized it so many years ago? Of course not. The exam was all about the verbiage. The actual inspection is all about knowing when something isn't right about my truck. Just because your trainer is not actively participating in your learning of the pre-trip inspection is no way a form of discrimination. My trainer used to complain that I was "just like all the other white people he had to train." Was that discrimination? I never considered it a deal breaker. He was an obnoxious jerk. I put up with some of his nonsense because I knew I would soon be finished with him. My time with him was a very small stepping stone. I still became a professional driver who has enjoyed a lucrative and successful career. My success had nothing to do with my training. In trucking you are expected to accomplish a great deal of your learning on your own. This is evident by the fact that the training is short and hurried. I am still learning and teaching others after eight years of driving.

Don't put yourself into a box with your expectations of how your training should be done. You will always be disappointed. I wrote an article about this very subject years ago. I could write a book on the subject today. It is a common blunder for rookies. It is also a common blunder for folks who have done training in other fields. Trucking is it's own beast. It is hard to put it in any category or make similarities to it. Don't limit your progress by trying to make sure it lines up with the ways you think it should be handled.

Another thing that catches people off guard when starting their trucking careers is the personalities they come across. Truckers can be a varied lot of people. Some are gentle and kind. Some are extremely hermit like. Others are gruff and harsh, maybe even rude. They make stupid comments like the trainer in question here did about not "having the brain muscle to learn via rote memorization." My trainer said stupid stuff like that all the time. I just considered him an ass. I went on about my learning process without ever getting myself overly upset about it. I knew my time with him was temporary. I took what I needed from him and ignored the rest.

Getting started in trucking is never easy. But get started we must if we are to have a career. If there is no way for you to buckle down and get the job done with your current trainer the solution is to just get another one. Prime will do that. We have seen them do it many times before. If the company didn't want you on board they would have sent you packing on the first or second day. They do that all the time. They want you as a driver. If you need a different trainer, you just need to advocate for yourself. Remember advocating for yourself must be done tactfully and respectfully. Don't be mousy, but don't be pushy. Be professional and firm.

What Should I Expect To Learn From My Trainer?