Is My Wife Being Discriminated Against?

Since Ashley registered, I'm leaving this thread in her hands. But I wanted to drop in and thank everyone because you guys are truly awesome. And to clarify, she isn't having trouble with pretrip at all. If anything, she has overtrained it because it's the only thing she can train until she has a trainer -- who will actually train her.

Everyone else in her group is departing in the next couple days to go OTR for two weeks. She's still wandering around relearning material she now has memorized. The issue isn't that she was called stupid in so many words. It's that the guy was calling her stupid instead of training her.

Hopefully she'll have a new trainer soon. In that case, it will have all been for the best. Better to discover it won't work before the get out on the road, for sure. And as he wasn't doing his job at the pad, he surely wouldn't have out there either.

This just made us both nervous because it's a world apart from how things work elsewhere. I can't think of any kind of training I've ever done or heard of where a trainer can just flake out and it's okay. From the Army, to the university, the USPS, any restaurant my dad was a chef at, programming boot camps. Anywhere. This is basic. If you're a trainer, it's your job to train. If you flat don't, then you're being paid for a job you're not doing.

The issue isn't that she was called stupid in so many words. It's that the guy was calling her stupid instead of training her.

I disagree. That's a huge issue. You're saying, on a public forum, that a trainer at Prime called your wife stupid and that Prime turned a blind eye to it because she's not a "butch" female and she's older. If I Google prime and this is the second thing that comes up under their company site, I'd say I'm not interested in working there and I'll tell other people why I'm not interested in working there and that's how things spread. Now multiply that by how many people visit this site.

This just made us both nervous because it's a world apart from how things work elsewhere

This is key and what you both need to understand. This isn't like anything you've ever done and Prime didn't just start training recently. Put the personal feelings aside and do what you need to do.

If you're a trainer, it's your job to train. If you flat don't, then you're being paid for a job you're not doing.

This goes with what I've said above. As you've heard from others,. There is no hand holding here. My trainer explained the mechanics of shifting, steering and oversteering and told me to have at it. My experience falls in line with how most people on this site learned. Do you know how many days I felt like quitting? All of them. It's stressful and frustrating, but worth it.

Yeah.. see for me.. the only thing that really sticks out is being told what she can and cannot eat and drink. Um... yeah, no. I'm pretty sure you're not going to tell me what to eat or drink, I don't care if you're teaching me how to perform a lunar landing.

The rest is all subjective and you're going to come across *******s no matter what field you're in. This IS a male dominated industry and while that shouldn't excuse egregious sexual harassment/assault issues-- we ladies do have to manage our expectations. This is a blue collar, rough and tumble type of industry.

The issue isn't that she was called stupid in so many words. It's that the guy was calling her stupid instead of training her.

I disagree. That's a huge issue. You're saying, on a public forum, that a trainer at Prime called your wife stupid and that Prime turned a blind eye to it because she's not a "butch" female and she's older. If I Google prime and this is the second thing that comes up under their company site, I'd say I'm not interested in working there and I'll tell other people why I'm not interested in working there and that's how things spread. Now multiply that by how many people visit this site.

This just made us both nervous because it's a world apart from how things work elsewhere

This is key and what you both need to understand. This isn't like anything you've ever done and Prime didn't just start training recently. Put the personal feelings aside and do what you need to do.

If you're a trainer, it's your job to train. If you flat don't, then you're being paid for a job you're not doing.

This goes with what I've said above. As you've heard from others,. There is no hand holding here. My trainer explained the mechanics of shifting, steering and oversteering and told me to have at it. My experience falls in line with how most people on this site learned. Do you know how many days I felt like quitting? All of them. It's stressful and frustrating, but worth it.

Drill sergeants call you stupid too.

It's either, "Suck it up and deal," or it's, "This isn't okay and Prime is more professional than this." It can't be both.

And yes, this is unlike anything we've ever done. That's why I asked for advice here before putting my foot in my mouth giving her advice. And it's why I'm trying to entertain a different perspective.

But as for a verbal explanation of how to shift, followed by being thrown to the wolves, you're wrong. Every single one of the other trainees in her group have had their "hand held". That is to say, they've been guided through smaller practice maneuvers with the truck and built up to getting on the road. Nobody wants people to be thrown behind the controls of 18 wheels of rolling death and told they won't have their hand held.

If your attitude about training is right, then Prime and every other company offering training by contract or tuition is running a scam. I don't think they are. I think drivers are trained because they can't just teach themselves. Anyone can find a verbal explanation of how to work mechanical controls without having to pay anyone for it. If the training provided has any value at all, then it has to offer more than what I could find with a few minutes on Google.

Furthermore, I really doubt a megacarrier attains that status by paying trainers not to handhold. Trainers are paid good money on top of their usual mileage, so unless the trucking industry is less careful with capital than every other industry on the planet, they're expected to provide a service of equitable value.

And for every single one of the other trainees who showed up to Prime with her, it has.

3. Your opinion about how households other than yours run doesn't matter. It's none of your business, and echoed by a company your opinion would be illegal.

There is no such thing as an illegal opinion. You don't have to agree with someone's opinion.

Truck driver training is entirely up to the student to learn. Pre trip for passing your CDL can't be taught because it's memorization. Once on the road you learn it by doing it every day. A trainer can show you how to do things but the student must figure it out.

If the trainer calls you stupid, does that make you stupid? No.

That will not be the last person to call you a name. Toughen your skin, stand up for yourself and see if you can handle this lifestyle.

Good luck.

Yeah.. see for me.. the only thing that really sticks out is being told what she can and cannot eat and drink. Um... yeah, no. I'm pretty sure you're not going to tell me what to eat or drink, I don't care if you're teaching me how to perform a lunar landing.

The rest is all subjective and you're going to come across *******s no matter what field you're in. This IS a male dominated industry and while that shouldn't excuse egregious sexual harassment/assault issues-- we ladies do have to manage our expectations. This is a blue collar, rough and tumble type of industry.

Brandie, I have to disagree with you on this being a male dominated industry and while there may be more male drivers than female that implies women get second class treatment. My experience is that women who train and drive are respected by their male counterparts. I have observed female drivers in training and on the road. My experience is that they are treated as equals in the industry. However, there are both male and female trainees who can't qualify for a driving job. Perhaps you should get through training before you post strong opinions.

Yeah.. see for me.. the only thing that really sticks out is being told what she can and cannot eat and drink. Um... yeah, no. I'm pretty sure you're not going to tell me what to eat or drink, I don't care if you're teaching me how to perform a lunar landing.

The rest is all subjective and you're going to come across *******s no matter what field you're in. This IS a male dominated industry and while that shouldn't excuse egregious sexual harassment/assault issues-- we ladies do have to manage our expectations. This is a blue collar, rough and tumble type of industry.

Brandie, I have to disagree with you on this being a male dominated industry and while there may be more male drivers than female that implies women get second class treatment. My experience is that women who train and drive are respected by their male counterparts. I have observed female drivers in training and on the road. My experience is that they are treated as equals in the industry. However, there are both male and female trainees who can't qualify for a driving job. Perhaps you should get through training before you post strong opinions.

A "male dominated industry" simply means that there are far more men in the occupation than there are women. It doesn't speak to equality or treatment or anything else. There are a lot of industries that are still male dominated-- likewise there are a few industries that are female dominated. You read entirely too much into what I said. And I'll say it again-- women DO need to manage their expectations when they come into a male dominated field. If you NEED hearts, puppies, and soft gentle treatment-- I highly doubt this industry is for you, regardless of gender... I've spent most of my working life in one of two industries that are male dominant-- manufacturing and restaurant management. You don't get very far by continually complaining about every perceived slight.

Brandie, I have to disagree with you on this being a male dominated industry and while there may be more male drivers than female that implies women get second class treatment

What? lmao no it doesn't imply that. A male dominated industry is one where the vast majority of the workers are male.

My experience is that women who train and drive are respected by their male counterparts.

My experience is that women have to deal with alot more harassment on the road than in many other professions. Thankfully drivers can't get away with near as much harassment as they used to but it's still a problem in this industry.

As a Prime team trainer and a 47-year-old straight woman I can tell you:

1. No one at prime cares about your gender, age, sexual orientation, religion or race. Period. They care about making money

2. Prime started the training program because men drivers wanted their wives WITH them.... So they wanted women out of the kitchen and teaming. so keep the feminist victim card out of this. You will find the men OTR will help more than the women.

3. As for as telling you what to eat or drink while driving... YES! I do have the right. You know why? Cause when my steering wheel is filled with grease, bbq sauce, nacho cheese and more, I dont have the time to stop and clean the entire truck. . I once had to use a toothbrush to get the french fry crumbs out of the steering wheel. When someone hits a bump too hard or a pothole without a lid on the cup the lemonade goes flying and the entire truck gets sticky. Or.. I had someone leave a drink on the top bunk and when he drove away, gatorade now poured on my head and bed.. Soaking all blankets and sheets and my $4000.... Yep $4000 mattress. With no time to stop and dod laundry cause this is a job. I also had a guy who stopped every 2 hours eating full meals from fast-food places then needed to craps every 2 hours. He drove 300 miles a day and I drop 700.... I was NOT ruining my 6 year on time delivery record for him. So guess what... Yes I have rules about food on the truck now. Don't like it? Do what you want on your truck but not one mine. Stay or get a different trainer is up to you.

4. "Trainers get big bucks on top of miles". Again... A comment without any merit. The schooling pay for a CDL Instructor at Prime is $300 plus the miles. If the student PASSES the exam... They get bonuses. If they never left the terminal... That instructor was better off not training. But guess what.. A student that does not absorb the information quickly will cost that trainer big bucks. Last summer I had a CDL holder in the team training that was so bad, I averaged LESS per week than I would have solo. A bad student can ruin your check, not help it.

5. Prime has a Pre trip video as well as other videos on the phone app. They are there because they are helpful and important They also want drivers to get used to using the phone app and searching it.

6. There are many instructors on the pad. She can ask any of them. We have multiple people in the training plaza building who can help. Including Chris Martin as a liaison and Brooke Mosely, the female driver liaison.

7. Prime has 1200 women .... 1200! That is more than entire fleets at other companies. So again... Not a gender thing.

And it's why I'm trying to entertain a different perspective.

But you're not. You keep insisting on telling me I'm wrong, when I've already been through this and read countless hours of diaries from people at Prime for years.

If your attitude about training is right, then Prime and every other company offering training by contract or tuition is running a scam

Again, it's not. You learn how to do this by doing. Do you think paying a school 5k is going to do it differently? They're not. They're going to explain how it works and have you do it until you learn it.

Every single one of the other trainees in her group have had their "hand held". 

How do you know? You're not there and they're not here. Maybe it's possible that your wife got hung up on verbage and it derailed her. That happens a lot. Maybe the other students were able to build a positive rapport with their trailers and are having a positive experience.

Furthermore, I really doubt a megacarrier attains that status by paying trainers not to handhold. Trainers are paid good money on top of their usual mileage, so unless the trucking industry is less careful with capital than every other industry on the planet, they're expected to provide a service of equitable value.

They have 3 weeks or less from the day you set foot in that truck to get you test ready. There are only so many hours in a day and they have to get the most out of it. There is no time for babying.

I think it's funny that you've never driven a truck, but you want to tell Prime how to run their business.

Anyone can find a verbal explanation of how to work mechanical controls without having to pay anyone for it.

Sure, but you're missing the "learning by doing" part. I spent a lot of time on YouTube watching "how to shift" videos and I understood what they were saying, but in realtime it's hard to apply. That's how you learn though. And you can't pass a road test by reciting a verbal explanation. You need some equipment to do that.

It's either, "Suck it up and deal," or it's, "This isn't okay and Prime is more professional than this." It can't be both.

It's the former. As we learn more from these postings I'm starting to see that this all stems from interpretations and not what actually happened. It's why Prime handled it the way they did and they handled it properly.