Argument With Trainer. Need Help!

Hey guys as many of you know I'm on the road training with Knight. A problem came up tonight and me and the trainer got into an argument. I will explain the best I can and I'm looking for brutally honest opinions.

The argument occurred when my 70hr clock was running out. I had 1hr left. We were on our way to a receiver but I wouldn't make it in time. When the warning came up he said I need to find somewhere to park. Cool. We are on 49 north in Missouri headed to a drop in Harrisonville Missouri. I have been driving for 6hrs straight with no break and I was tired and cramping up. I needed to get out the truck for a minute and stretch. The area we are in has no rest areas to stop. The closest loves was 40min away but I couldn't make that. A gas station came up and I told him I'm going to pull in to stretch for a min. He said I don't have time, go somewhere else. I asked him where? He said a ways down. I pleaded with him saying I'm hurting. I pull in and he's yelling at me about I can't park here. I was out of the way of traffic not blocking anything. I park and get out to stretch and he's complaining that I just got us stuck. I say nothing, ignoring him the whole time. The way I was facing was towards a one way street going away from where we needed to go. He's still yelling that we are stuck and I'm blocking ppl but I was not. Mind you it's 8pm, nobody is in the gas station. I say nothing. He says, ok smart guy I would like to see you get out of this. So I back the truck up without his help and go out the same way I came in. Easy, got it done. I then ask what exit we needed to take. He says exit 157. We are at exit 145. Now I have 40min left. Driving down he says get off here. I see signs saying loves is exit 158. But I listen to him and get off at exit 157. I have 15min left and see no truck stop in sight. I ask where is the truck stop, he says we are going to deliver the load. Now there is no time limit on this delivery, it is an open delivery. I say I thought I needed to shut it down, why would you instruct me to go deliver the load? Since we are one exit away from loves I get back on 49 and head to it.

He's nagging about how I need to pay attention and listen. I lose my cool at this point. I say what do you mean, I am. What's the problem? He mentions how I took the wrong turn. Twice so far in my first week. He says I still don't know how to do logs and I don't know anything. I snap. I said it was your fault I took the wrong turns. Once in Ohio on my 2nd day and once in TX yesterday. You gave me confusing directions. I told him your right I don't know anything, that's why I'm training and it's your fault I don't know how to do the logs...( in reality, I'm just slow with it and ask him questions while I'm doing them so I don't type the wrong things in) I say if you were a better trainer I would know more by now wouldn't I? All you do is sit in the passenger seat on your phone or sleep or give me confusing directions opposite of what the GPS says. He replies I'm not a babysitter, I ask what does that mean? Aint it your job to teach new drivers?? So you just train to get the extra pay and not actually train ppl?? He yells and says well then get off the truck since I'm not training you.

After this load we have a pick up in KC going to Massachusetts. He says he's leaving me in KC at the Knight terminal , I say haha no your not. You driving me to the Carlisle terminal since we going back east anyway. Now we are at the loves with 2min to spare on my 70. He jumps out slams the door and walks away leaving me to back into the spot by myself. I get it done with 2 pull ups. I get out the truck walk around to cool off. When I get back to the truck I wanted to talk about what happened but he is in the bunk sleep. I plan on having a calm conversation with him tomorrow.

I see what I did wrong by loosing my cool. It's a lot more to the story on why I did. This whole training period he has been talking to me like a child. Like I don't know basic street signs. Been condescending towards me and I have kept it cool till this point.

I have been respectful towards him since day 1. Told him I'm here to learn and follow directions. There has been no problem on my end up until now except the time he blamed me for logging out of the zonar system when I didn't. He insisted I did and kept talking about it for 30min until I got irritated and said I didn't. Come to find out the zonar does that now every time we stop for a load. No apologies but I'm not looking for any. As long as he knew he was wrong in blaming me.

I have been focused on training and ignoring his remarks towards me because they are petty. Like telling me to turn left when the only way to turn is left. He complimented me yesterday saying my backing has gotten better. He said the YouTube videos you watch at night seems to be working. No safety violations, no reckless driving, nothing. My driving is fine for my first week, even words he said from his mouth.

Just wondering what would happen if we can't resolve this in the morning. I don't think anything bad would happen but I could be wrong. Only saying that because today was the only day that we argued and it wasn't for anything driving related so to speak. Only at day 8. Got 20 more days to go.....

If he's not teaching you the things you need to learn, then you're probably better off going with another trainer. There's no point in training if you're going to be exactly where you are when you're done.

It also sounds like you're a bit over sensitive. I'm not there, but somebody telling me to take a left when there's no other option isn't condescending it's mostly just habit and making sure you take the left. He doesn't know that you're aware that's the only way you can go.

Last night sounds like it all hit a breaking point. The argument wasn't that bad. I've read a lot worse here, but this seems to have been building up. If your trainer tells you not to stop, you don't stop. We've all been in positions where those last 40 minutes feel like eternity. You have to tough it out. What happened last night at 8 PM is called luck and she won't always be on your side. A 5 minute stop at a gas station can turn into a frustrating event. You don't know what detours lie ahead or if the place will be empty.. It sounds like you made an assumption that paid off, but won't always will.

Trainers get frustrated. They're human too. My trainer got plenty frustrated with me, but we got along fine. May have been different if we were in the same living space.

20 days will be nothing in hindsight, but it can be like those 40 minutes and feel like eternity. If you guys can't square this away and sweep it under the rug, then you may have to get dropped off. Being in a small living space with tension you can cut with a knife doesn't do anybody favors. The only problem may be, how long does it take to get you with a new trainer?

It's all a gamble. On one hand, you feel like you're not learning anything and on the other hand, you may get paired with someone worse. If you're good with where you are tough out the next 20 days and give it all you got.

Hey guys as many of you know I'm on the road training with Knight. A problem came up tonight and me and the trainer got into an argument. I will explain the best I can and I'm looking for brutally honest opinions.

The argument occurred when my 70hr clock was running out. I had 1hr left. We were on our way to a receiver but I wouldn't make it in time. When the warning came up he said I need to find somewhere to park. Cool. We are on 49 north in Missouri headed to a drop in Harrisonville Missouri. I have been driving for 6hrs straight with no break and I was tired and cramping up. I needed to get out the truck for a minute and stretch. The area we are in has no rest areas to stop. The closest loves was 40min away but I couldn't make that. A gas station came up and I told him I'm going to pull in to stretch for a min. He said I don't have time, go somewhere else. I asked him where? He said a ways down. I pleaded with him saying I'm hurting. I pull in and he's yelling at me about I can't park here. I was out of the way of traffic not blocking anything. I park and get out to stretch and he's complaining that I just got us stuck. I say nothing, ignoring him the whole time. The way I was facing was towards a one way street going away from where we needed to go. He's still yelling that we are stuck and I'm blocking ppl but I was not. Mind you it's 8pm, nobody is in the gas station. I say nothing. He says, ok smart guy I would like to see you get out of this. So I back the truck up without his help and go out the same way I came in. Easy, got it done. I then ask what exit we needed to take. He says exit 157. We are at exit 145. Now I have 40min left. Driving down he says get off here. I see signs saying loves is exit 158. But I listen to him and get off at exit 157. I have 15min left and see no truck stop in sight. I ask where is the truck stop, he says we are going to deliver the load. Now there is no time limit on this delivery, it is an open delivery. I say I thought I needed to shut it down, why would you instruct me to go deliver the load? Since we are one exit away from loves I get back on 49 and head to it.

He's nagging about how I need to pay attention and listen. I lose my cool at this point. I say what do you mean, I am. What's the problem? He mentions how I took the wrong turn. Twice so far in my first week. He says I still don't know how to do logs and I don't know anything. I snap. I said it was your fault I took the wrong turns. Once in Ohio on my 2nd day and once in TX yesterday. You gave me confusing directions. I told him your right I don't know anything, that's why I'm training and it's your fault I don't know how to do the logs...( in reality, I'm just slow with it and ask him questions while I'm doing them so I don't type the wrong things in) I say if you were a better trainer I would know more by now wouldn't I? All you do is sit in the passenger seat on your phone or sleep or give me confusing directions opposite of what the GPS says. He replies I'm not a babysitter, I ask what does that mean? Aint it your job to teach new drivers?? So you just train to get the extra pay and not actually train ppl?? He yells and says well then get off the truck since I'm not training you.

After this load we have a pick up in KC going to Massachusetts. He says he's leaving me in KC at the Knight terminal , I say haha no your not. You driving me to the Carlisle terminal since we going back east anyway. Now we are at the loves with 2min to spare on my 70. He jumps out slams the door and walks away leaving me to back into the spot by myself. I get it done with 2 pull ups. I get out the truck walk around to cool off. When I get back to the truck I wanted to talk about what happened but he is in the bunk sleep. I plan on having a calm conversation with him tomorrow.

TwoSides11, one thing to remember is that your trainer is there to train you, but your trainer is also human. Your trainer will never be perfect. You could ask Knight to put you with another trainer, stating that the two of you just don't get along at all.

I will soon be in your position, meaning that next week I am going to orientation. I think of myself being in your situation and I can see myself getting frustrated when I am given directions that are not clear and also contradictory to the GPS, without explanation as to why. My first inclination would be to ask for a different trainer. However, there is something to be said about being able to face this adversity head on and find a way to get through training with this trainer. One, you have to keep your cool. Your decision making while driving will not be what it needs to be when getting that upset. You put yourself at risk of not seeing something that needs to be seen when getting that upset while driving. Two, try to be as coachable as possible. As much as you can, make the job of training you as easy as possible. Ask questions, lots of questions, but be responsive to all feedback and utilize the feedback given. Your trainer is the one with the experience, so there is a reason he is telling you the things that he is. If something isn't making sense, ask him to explain as you do what he is telling you to do.

I think the calm conversation and an apology will go a long way. Eat a bit of humble pie and be ready to be more open to what your trainer is telling you.

If he's not teaching you the things you need to learn, then you're probably better off going with another trainer. There's no point in training if you're going to be exactly where you are when you're done.

What else should he be teaching me? How to do the logs, what to do at shipper/receiver, he showed me how to go on and off duty and when. But what else? That is what he is showing me but i don't know if theres more to it.

Yes, last night was a build up of emotions I kept in. I couldn't believe he would blame me for the wrong turns when he gave me the directions. Nor bring up the times he got us lost and put us into a country club parking lot because he knows better than the gps

I didn't take into account that a 5 min break could lead to a nightmare scenario. I was just hurting bad and see that my luck won't always be there. Especially when I'm focused on one thing, getting out the truck.

What has happened so far didn't seem like good enough reasons to ask for another trainer. He's just annoying, could be a lot worse. Yesterday was the only time yelling and cursing was involved.

Thanks Banks. I appreciate your input

Kerry, First congrats and good luck next week! Also congrats on the wedding and new life coming into this world!

He is mister big shot million miler that can do no wrong. That is his attitude. He knows better than the GPS. Took me off route a few times into residential areas because he knows a better way. Gotten us lost a few times and even put us in a country club. But brings up the only 2 wrong turns I made.

I have kept an open mind and been very coachable. I have done what you said in another post and analysized my actions.. I do that in life anyway because I know I'm not perfect and I strive to become a better person each day. I guess him saying he is not a babysitter is a response to me asking questions before doing something. I asked him what he meant by that but he never explained. I never questioned his directions because he has been driving for 20yrs and has a million plus miles. I respect that.. I will try and talk with him because that's the kind of person I am.

Thanks for your response Kerry.

He says he's leaving me in KC at the Knight terminal , I say haha no your not.

It was not smart to say that. The truck is his, not yours, and he can leave you at any safe place when he wants.

What else should he be teaching me? How to do the logs, what to do at shipper/receiver, he showed me how to go on and off duty and when. But what else? That is what he is showing me but i don't know if theres more to it.

That's hard to answer. We're not there with you. I'm going based on what you said when you said

All you do is sit in the passenger seat on your phone or sleep or give me confusing directions opposite of what the GPS says.

That's the information I have so that's I'm going with.

Yes, last night was a build up of emotions I kept in. I couldn't believe he would blame me for the wrong turns when he gave me the directions. Nor bring up the times he got us lost and put us into a country club parking lot because he knows better than the gps

Take it as a lesson learned. Not everything is going to go perfect when you're on your own. There have been plenty of times where I end up somewhere I have no business being. I've learned from each of those experiences. Take advantage of it happening now when you have somewhere there to help you.

I didn't take into account that a 5 min break could lead to a nightmare scenario. I was just hurting bad and see that my luck won't always be there. Especially when I'm focused on one thing, getting out the truck.

You can't focus on one thing out there. Smith system key "Get the Big Picture". You need to be focused on everything and pay attention to risk vs reward. There have plenty of times when I want to stop, but I can't. Too risky. Or I want a coffee, but the coffee isn't worth the headache of being stuck somewhere. I pulled in to a travel center once for a coffee and they were working on half the pumps which means the place was packed. I said screw it, I'm already here and got my coffee. To leave, I had to back up a set of doubles (which is extremely difficult) a few feet to make a u turn with other trucks pulling in. It happens.

What has happened so far didn't seem like good enough reasons to ask for another trainer. He's just annoying, could be a lot worse. Yesterday was the only time yelling and cursing was involved

Yelling and cursing leads to disrespect which leads to work place violence. A kiss of death that's rarely discussed. It's also dangerous. You don't want to be driving and be angry. It's not the easiest thing to do, but you need to keep a level head. That's all you can control in that situation. Getting into a shouting match and throwing insults won't get you very far and it makes things worse. Try to have a conversation about it and start over. If he doesn't want to talk or fix it, you can't force it and you're going to have to get a new trainer.

Thanks Banks. I appreciate your input

We're all here to help. I've gotten a lot of help here and I still do. It's all about paying it forward. When you're out there killing it and you're a wealth of information, remember the help you received and pay it forward with the new rookies.

Man oh man, TwoSides11...I feel ya brother. I'm on day eight myself and having close to the same experience with my trainer. I was paired up with him because he was going to work through the holiday, but he changed his mind and got home time here in Houston. Thankfully my brother lives about 10 mi from Katy terminal. It was nice to take a break and get to see him. I'm now early waiting in the terminal for my trainer to wake up.

I am remaining coachable but it's difficult when there's no coaching offered. A full week and I've not backed one time. Understandable that this is an area that I need to work in but.... He always wants to get us in the hole. My driving has been pretty damn good from the start, enough for him to fall asleep the first day in the passenger seat. He did however, wake up when I had a trailer blow out 5 hours and in my first shift of driving. I handled it well and I already started to pull over when he screamed "PULL OVER!"

To get him home for the holiday we drove straight through from LA to Houston 27 and 1/2 hours. Team driving on day three. I'm getting really good at utilizing the engine brake. Taking some time to get used to sleeping while the truck is moving... Not very restful at all.

He is taking more home time next week for 4 days and I don't want to sit here in Houston so we're going to route back to Phoenix. I'm hoping to get paired up right away with someone else but only time will tell. I'm not asking for a new trainer, but I'm asking for my training to continue.

His communication skills are sub-par for sure. But not everyone can be a good trainer or teacher, I'm soaking up all I can from him while I have him. In my past profession I trained many many times. I guess my expectations are just a little high.

There was a teachable moment in Wilcox when I turned off the highway the wrong way going to a truck stop. Now that I thought about it I should have gone to the next light turn right next light turn right next light turn left to get back where I wanted. I do wish he'd offered that advice when I was in my pickle instead of letting me panic turn into a parking lot to get turned around. Very teachable moment lost.

Anyway it's a new day and a new chance to learn.

Keep your chin up and keep your eye on the prize!

He says he's leaving me in KC at the Knight terminal , I say haha no your not.

It was not smart to say that. The truck is his, not yours, and he can leave you at any safe place when he wants.

I'm not trying to be a smart a$$ when saying this, trust me I really am not. Honest question.

His truck broke down on us and we are in a loaner. Does that still count? That is why I said what I said. If we were still in his truck that he got for being a million miler that wouldn't have came out my mouth.