New Trucking Family, New To TT

The stress for drivers, whether in school, or on the road is huge....Sometimes they will talk about it...sometimes they want to chew on it for awhile, and will talk later....men.... One of the things that most truckers wives don't realize is that the first 24 hours that a driver is home is his "decompress" time....he will sleep...sit and watch tv, or just kinda zone....Its that transitional time when you realize that your chair isn't moving, and the view out the window is staying the same. All the drivers I've known do it, to one extent or another, so be prepared to not get a answer thats more than a single sentence, until your driver settles into home time. I also suggest not making plans with family and friends....Let your driver decide who he wants to see, what he wants to do, and where he wants to go. And NO DRIVER wants go out to dinner !!! They eat out all the time....What they want when they come home is HOME COOKED FOOD...and lots of it. While on the road, they might be shorting themselves on eating, in order to send more money home...They won't admit if you ask, so don't ask....Just feed them well while they are home. Sometimes they will get into strange sleep patterns...I know Bill wakes up early, and takes a nap in the afternoon. He got in this habit while he was driving. He does the same while he is home. And he eats maybe 4-5 times a day...which I don't mind...I just cook more !! So be vigilant...ask him if he's hungry..don't rely on him to go graze in the kitchen. Just go with the flow when he's home....It will make the time more enjoyable for all the family.....

Great advice Starcar!

It is my intention to keep home-time about home and family. I feel like he will get his fill of pressure out on the road and won't need a drop more when he comes home. I joked with him before he left that he gets to come home and be a rockstar/king!! The kids will be all over him and our friends and family will want to see him, he may need a velvet rope to hold court...lol! In all seriousness though I am looking forward to the challenge of making home-time special and relaxing. I am eager to cook for him and make over him. He is definitely earning some pampering. Not to mention, some good quality couples time between us ;) .

My man was so down in the dumps yesterday. He is missing home so very much. My heart just breaks for him. He misses the kids so much and he has so much time left to go before he gets to come home. He said he spent a lot of the day scrolling through our private facebook, re-reading all the old posts and looking at the pictures.

He did go have a nice big breakfast yesterday morning, but didn't eat anything else all day. No amount of coaxing from me could convince him to go get something, order a pizza, or microwave some canned food. He is so worried about money. He already figures he is going to be broke and uncomfortable with the trainer and when he goes solo.

I doubt seriously that his weekly truck budget will leave him hungry and miserable (it is pretty sizable), but the cost of things on the road is intimidating and he is still getting used to trying to pre-plan for his needs on his own. At home, I always take care of those things and I can't be there to do them for him now. In a different world, I could be there with him when he goes solo and take care of him while we travel, but the kids need me here more and it just can't be that way.

I will do everything in my power to gather the things he may need while out there on the road so he can take as much as possible at the cheaper local rate (I am pretty good at getting a deal).

The kids and I went to my step-father's birthday party yesterday. We had a nice time, but it is taking some getting used to, going to family gatherings without him. My camera lets me act as his eyes here at home and I take comfort in knowing I can show it all to him through the lens. I keep reminding myself that separation is part of the game.

What hurt the most is when he says he will only be a visitor here from now on. I just don't see it that way. I insist that his home-time isn't going to be a visit. He will be coming HOME. He says his home is going to be that truck. I'm not sure which of us is right and which is wrong. Maybe we are both right. Maybe he needs to think of the truck as home and I need his home to be here. Either way our devotion to each other and our children is the same.

We ended our lengthy conversation on a positive note, talking about next summer when the children can go with him on the truck for a few weeks. Our youngest has several years before she will be able to go, though.

I know he will be relieved to get back to the grind today. They are backing on the range for the entire week. He needs to keep busy so he doesn't have so much time to dwell. The more time passes, the harder some of it becomes and the easier some of it becomes. We just have to keep our eyes on the prize.

Thanks for listening! :)

Well, the newly established pattern holds true again this week.

My trucker was in much better spirits yesterday after a long day of school. It is clear that "boredom + weekend = homesick" and "truck practice + weekdays = coping fine". It make me worry about how he will handle resets and layovers on the road.

My man spent the day on the backing range. They worked on parallel parking and offset backing. He says that backing is going well so far, but he had a hard time with the parallel parking at first. He said he kept over steering or under steering, but finally nailed it before they were done. He said he room-mate backs like it is second nature. He joked that he is a super trucker....lol.

My man complained of back issues and I told him it could be poorly adjusted seats causing the problem. He said he didn't think that seats were the issue and I wondered if maybe he was twisting his back funny when he gets in and out of the truck. I told him to be mindful of his body mechanics and maybe it will clear up on it's own.

Apparently my man got the impression that I got jealous of the housekeeper in the hotel...lol. Over the weekend he mentioned that he looked up the way to ask for more coffee packets for his room in Spanish, because the housekeeping lady that cleans his room doesn't speak/understand English very well. I recall telling him that it was very considerate of him to do and she probably appreciated that. He recalls me pausing in a significant way first. He said that he thought I was picturing a housekeeper like "Catalina" from "My name is Earl" (hilarious show and a very pretty girl), but he said the housekeeper was more like "Consuela" from "Family Guy"....lol. I had a good laugh over his misunderstanding and it made me wonder if he read about my little jealousy issue here and it has him spooked.

Yesterday was my biggest housework day of the week. It wasn't so bad, but it kept me busy for a while and it was a nice peaceful day. There is something very relaxing in the mundane household tasks. It keeps me busy without wearing me out and it makes me feel good to bless my family with a nice home. I look forward to my man's home-time when he can come enjoy it too.

I had a moment yesterday where I felt about an inch tall. I use instagram for food pictures often and post them to our private facebook page from time to time. I made an especially delicious dinner last night and posted the pretty picture like I normally would. A little while later, he commented that his dinner was like dog food. His comment upset me so much. I felt so bad for posting it and actually took it off. I felt like I was inconsiderate for posting it, knowing that he is eating from a can more often than not, and it makes me want to stop with that kind of posting all together.

I'm sure I'll step in it again before I get a handle on it.

Thanks for listening :)

Yesterday, things did not go well for my man.

He finally hit a hump that he isn't sure he can get over and it's name is parallel parking. His group has spent the week on the backing range and all was going well except with this maneuver. He was so stressed out about it. He said that he feels like he might have to come home with his tail between his legs. Parallel parking is a requirement to graduate from the program. The way he explained it is, he is holding a turn too long to place the trailer then isn't getting the truck lined up properly and he ends up curved out of position. I comforted him the best I could and asked if he was doing anything different from the other guys. I also asked if he was paying close attention to how they are completing the maneuvers. He got kind of grumpy with me but apologized for it afterwards. He says he was doing everything he could and his instructor didn't know what else to tell him except he is holding the turn too long. Thankfully one of the guys agreed to trade his practice time on parallel parking for my man's time in alley dock. My man can alley dock like a champ and is only concerned with the parallel parking at this point. I'm hoping that all this time, effort, and money hasn't been a waste and that he can complete this program. We literally sank every dollar we had left into this dream and if we can't make it in trucking I don't know what we are going to do :(.

I have complete faith in my man to get it done, though. I advised him to stay relaxed and don't sink every bit of hope we have into this one maneuver. I told him it is just like any other day and any other maneuver. I'm afraid that if he stays stressed about it his mojo will vanish and he won't be able to get it at all. He was able to complete this maneuver successfully twice on Friday, so I KNOW he can do it. Tomorrow is their test day for backing. Here is hoping he will be able to get it down in time.

I spoke with him again a while later and his mood was greatly improved. He went to dinner with some of the guys and had a belly full of good food and a heart full of good cheer afterwards. I think talking over his concerns with the guys was just what he needed.

I spent some time with my mother yesterday, but otherwise it was an uneventful day. Housework, laundry, pet care, kid care.....lol. A never ending cycle.

I'll have a change up in my routine soon though. I have been working a part-time temporary position three times a year for the last four years and it is almost time to go back again. By Monday or so I will be rejoining the ranks of the employed for a few weeks. I love my job and the people I get to work with. Generally I would work a full 40 hr week, but my lack of childcare will pare my hours down so I can be home for my children in the afternoon. I'm going to miss the money I made before, but I am happy that I don't have to quit all together and my boss is willing to work around my children's school schedule.

I'm thinking that it is nearly time for me to bring this daily thread to a close. Since my man should be through with training and orientation by the middle of next week, I think that may be time to start a new thread beginning with my life after he gets over the road with a trainer. The experience of sharing everyday has been comforting. As always I appreciate the listening ear. :)

Good Morning TT Folks (Afternoon and Evening too...lol)

I am thankful to say that my man NAILED the parallel parking! I got a text before his call that the class was tested early and he aced it! I am so proud of him. He said he got it on the first attempt and just kept putting it right where he wanted it every time. The whole problem was his confidence. After a poor parallel park on Tuesday morning he just lost his groove and couldn't seem to get it back that day, but yesterday there was no problem.

I was so relieved and excited, but of course, by then he was well over his moping about it and seemed as if it was never even a problem. The greatest part is that this was the last thing that a student could "wash out" for and he is over that hurdle (as long as he doesn't HIT anything...lol). He had a lot of book work to complete last night and trip planning for a 3 1/2 hr haul the students are doing today, but he is IN!

He is still waiting to hear about his trainer assignment. The longer it takes the more likely he is to come home for a few days and wait here. It is hard to believe he could be home in just one week!! I can't wait to see him. I am trying very hard not to get my hopes up, because he still has plenty of time to be assigned a trainer and leave from school on Wednesday after orientation is ended. However, who doesn't get all excited when their trucker might make it home! On a little side note, I set (and reached!!) some nutrition and fitness goals for my self while he has been away so he gets to come home to a slightly thinner and better toned me :).

Two of our children had to go to the dentist yesterday morning (one for check up, the other for a minor procedure). I managed to knock that out and shampoo a carpet in our home that needed it. I also planned our weekly menu and made my grocery list (today is grocery day!). I was sure to include the ingredients for my man's homecoming meal, just in case :)

I am so grateful that we have found this industry. The clock is ticking down to when some money will finally start coming home. He could very well get a paycheck in as little as two weeks (three is more likely)! This is a huge deal, because even though his training pay won't be a lot, any little bit will help to give me some comfort when it comes bill time. Our children are tired of hearing me say, "Maybe when Daddy starts getting paid...." and the bill man (or woman) doesn't give a hoot when the money comes in as long as they get paid on time.

Just two more days of school (if I count today), one lonely weekend, three orientation days and my man ether starts his OTR adventure or gets to come sleep next to me :). A win in either case.

Thanks for listening :)

I didn't get in my post yesterday (life....eh?) so let me first backtrack to Thursday.

The guys made a run with two training trucks and the safety manager of the company drove a brand new T700 (regular company truck yet to be assigned to a driver) to carry a few empty trailers down to a drop yard a few hours away. The drive was 3 1/2 hours each way and they started around 7:30am. They hit the rush "hour" (he he if only it was really an hour...lol) going and coming back. When they arrived at their destination and made the drop, my man was nominated to drive the safety manager back up with him. He said it was stressful to drive 4 1/2 hours through heavy traffic with the safety manager riding shotgun, but he got to have some great conversation and get to know the guy a bit. The safety manager said he drives well and that is a big relief. The day ended pretty well and my man was whoop dog tired when it was over. We caught up with each other on the phone and facebook; what has become our "usual" way since he has been gone.

I did my grocery shopping that day and all was well until I lost my vaporizer pen. My man and I quit smoking cigarettes a year ago. We still use a nicotine vaporizer (e-cig) to curb cravings and prevent a relapse. I had it before I got out of the van, but realized it was gone when I was heading to my next stop. I back tracked and retraced my steps but couldn't find it anywhere. I finally broke down and bought a replacement. $35 later I was just sick about having to spend the money. Money is soooo tight. Oh, well.

Which brings us to Friday! My man is officially a graduate of CDL school. The last day was very short as they only had to turn in some paperwork and get a training folder. Our timing was off when he called. I had a friend just arriving for a visit and he called just as I was letting her in the house. He had so much to tell me. He was excited that it was an early day and he was finished! He found out a lot of info about the medical insurance program he wanted to talk about, and he wanted to tell me all about his trainer assignment. Yes! He finally has a trainer assigned! We talked for a few minutes, but then I had to get off the phone because I was being rude to my guest. He seemed really unhappy about it. It was the first time I told HIM I had to go because I had other things to do. Darn!

I tried to call him after she left and it went to voice mail. I left a message and waited. My girls got home from school and I sent him a text. Still nothing. An hour later I tried to call again, voice mail. I sent another text. Another hour, another call, more voice mail. I was starting to get really worried. He has NEVER taken so long to call or text back. I facebooked him. No reply. Another hour passed. I was getting really worried and my mind was going crazy. Is he mad?? Did he get mugged and murdered? Is he on his way home for a surprise visit? Is his phone broke? WTH??? I finally left him another voice mail message saying I was getting REALLY worried and I was going to call the hotel phone if he didn't get back in touch with me soon. Finally, 4 1/2 hours later he answered the phone and it turns out he had fallen asleep! Here I was, all jumpy and ridiculous over nothing at all. He went back to his room after we talked and sat down to watch some T.V. and just drifted off.

Unfortunately my man woke up like a grizzly bear. He was bored, lonely, and dreading the long weekend. He didn't want to eat any more "slop from a can", but he didn't have enough money to spare to go get something from a restaurant. It was going to be "forever" before he gets his own truck. He is so "sick of this D@#% hotel room". Unfortunately I was having it a little rough too. His nap put me in a bad mood (because I let my imagination go wild) and it rubbed off on the kids. They were snarking at each other and bickering over nothing, like kids do sometimes. My man was grumpy and I was getting exasperated with it all. I cut our conversation short, because I felt like it was boiling up to an argument. I was not feeling patient and understanding. I was feeling frustrated and I just wanted to tell him to put on his big girl panties and deal with it, because that's what I have to do! I'm glad I didn't let things escalate like that. We haven't argued since he has been gone and I didn't want to start it up.

He sent a text after the kids were in bed and we ended up talking again. He was in a much better mood, though still lonely and missing home.

So this is it. My last post in this "introductory" thread that went horribly right (for me at least and hopefully some other folks eventually)...lol. My man has orientation for three days this week and will likely hear from his trainer on Monday. After he talks to him we will know whether he gets to come home first. Unfortunately, we don't yet know where his trainer's "home terminal" is and so we don't even know if he will get home before his training is over at all. If his trainer isn't from the terminal here close to home, he will have to stay on the truck when the trainer takes home-time.

I have enjoyed this daily posting so much and it has been a really helpful tool in navigating this change in our lifestyle. I am playing around with the idea of beginning a new thread to chronicle the experiences we have once he gets out with a trainer.

Thanks so much for your patience and understanding. :)

Hey Homefire....we haven't heard from you in awhile......just wonderin'.....We will help all we can, ya know...

Hello Homefire, I love your name!

I am a lurker for the most part and enjoy reading your updates about your family and soon to be trucker. I look forward to your updates even if I don't say much. I pray all is well.

I am a soon to be trucker too who just started school last week. My step sons are grown so, it's just me and hubby now.

Starcar you are the best! You always have words of encouragement....I am grateful even when your words are not directed at me. The camaraderie here is something I've always envisioned in a sisterhood. Glad to know it's not a myth.

Cole

Starcar, I'm still around....lol. My man has been training OTR since the 7th of May and even made it home a couple of times. He took the road test for his CDL with the DMV and passed (Yay!), so now it is all a matter of cranking out the rest of the training miles to get into his own truck. The money has been slim (of course), but his earning potential will jump to a more reasonable wage when he gets out solo.

On the home-front, we have been keeping busy. Our kids are out of school for the summer. We all miss our trucker, but we are getting by pretty good.

Cole, It is awesome that you enjoyed the updates. Thank you. I really enjoyed sharing it all. I am still playing with the idea of another similar thread. I still feel like a bit of the oddball though...lol.

Homefire...your thread isn't any different than the ones on the general forum from the guys rollin' OTR...but YOURS is special, cuz it gives the view from the other side of the windshield !!! So keep it up....i"m sure there are alot of ladies that wonder what its like, when your hubby goes out trucking...