Feeling My Attitude Slip A Bit And Trying To Improve It.

You can confirm with the reno terminal that i have a **** poor attitude, it is amazing that through the years they treat me like a top tier driver with my wild mood swings, you happen to work in a sweat shop on wheels, nothing will change at another company except the name on your truck, from my experience i cycle through months of uncontrollable anger to mild depression to exceptance that this is truly a terrible job and cant believe people think its a badge of honor to work 7 days a week, 90 hours a week at roughly 35 percent unpaid work, you just gotta keep pushing on and hitting the planet fitness hard af

Wow, sounds like you hate your job and company. You are probably a glass half empty type guy. If it’s such torture for you, why not find another line of work? I find that most successful drivers are glass half full people. Truck driving is not for everyone but good natured, optimistic people seem to do the best. Even though I chafe under some rules, I cherish the freedom of having my own little “business” under the umbrella and protection of an established company. They tell me that I’m captain of my own ship and I have to remind them of that once in a while, but we seem to get along okay. Negative attitudes are clearly discernible and will never be beneficial.

For now I'm back with my DM I had when I was in training. He said he will explain things to the new DM, and I may get one of the other ones there that know me. We talked for a good while on things.

By and large knight, particularly my terminal has given me just about everything I've asked for any time, I do plan on sticking it out, the new people there aren't combative, they just don't know how to work around the freight situation in Denver with us.

Our office is totally open door, so once I get a DM selected, I'll go in and talk with him. Ive ran loads for most of them and they know my work ethic. I'm always prepping for the next phase whatever that might be. Weather down the road I get the business bug again or maybe go skateboard.

I noticed we have a bunch of flatbed trailers in our yard now, next time I'm there I'm going to see if they will let me trying backing up with one of them or maybe go on a run with one of the guys. They also have day cabs which I strangely enough want to try driving one just to see what it's like. Not that I want to do local. I don't, I just want to see what it's like to drive and haul different things.

I've lost a lot of friends in recovery, it's always hard, but this one was really difficult. I'll have 12 years clean coming up, long difficult journey. But it gets better every day. Onward and upward

Hopefully things improve for you and you're able to stay with Knight. I too would be quite upset feeling like the DM is trying to make you rush back to the truck after losing somebody so close to you.

I'm sorry for your loss, try to hang in there. Hopefully you have others close to you that can help you get through this tough time. Don't be afraid to reach out to anybody to help you cope with this loss.

I had a HUGE post for you also, Davy. So many links, songs, even a movie. It just went away as I was downstairs, tending to life. It was too "me" ... and Wasn't meant to be. Might've been a 'mod grab;' rightfully so.

Condolences, big time. I've got recovery stories with,for,and from .... so many SUPER CLOSE people. I hurt deeply for you; I really do. I lost a job over my innate grief for a compadre' .. back in the day.

Rickipedia knows the story; sadly he can't share, and it's not my place to do so. His gorgeous, beautiful son still aspires to drive.. if he can stay in recovery. He's trying to do his dad proud. He reads us, daily. He's inspired. (Stop in and register, Phil!)

There's a LOT of love to go around here, Davy. Stay put, stay safe, stay in your lane and into your MUSIC. (And out of your head.)

Hugs & best to you, man.

~ Anne ~

Sorry for the loss Davy. The loss of your close friend could be a factor in your frustrations with the new DM. Idk Maybe? Let those emotions pass through and don't hold them in. I know of that pain of losing someone close from what I would call a senseless death. I know your mind is all over the place and maybe a couple of days away from the truck will help??

This is the second time you contemplated leaving Knight. How long have you been thinking about it and why? It's not my place to tell you what to do but if you want to test the waters then dive in. I just don't think doing so right now with the situation that happened would be a honest decision. Heal first, let the pain and frustration pass. Stay strong man everything will work itself out. Like you said..."Onward and upward"