Frustrated, End Of My Patience.

Your dispatcher sounds like a *****. Can you request a different one?

I apologize if I sound insensitive to the other issues, but when she said “breast cancer doesn’t hurt” she crossed a line that NOBODY should.

Good luck and I hope your future team treats you better.

Between this and other things she said is there no way to just get HR involved instead of trying to go through supervisors? I realize that may also go nowhere but she really sounds like a pretty awful manager and the things she has said absolutely crossed a line like Steve said

The whole conversation today was an exercise in expert manipulation and gas lighting. I don't know if I have it in me to have this fight anymore. I have never been in a position where it took more than "there is a serious personality conflict, I have attempted to work around it for two years" was not sufficient to make a change when one was easily available.

I want to know WHY she wants someone on her boards that can't stand her, and wouldn't **** on her if she was on fire. WHY. I know I'm a good driver. I shut up and drive. Clearly I have proven that I can operate successfully in situations that are volatile and less than ideal. What exactly is the end goal for her? I'd be curious to find out exactly how many have requested a transfer, and received one. Of those denied, I am curious to see how many left the company within 30 days.

I have never truly been a failure at anything. This one is stinging a hell of a lot harder than it should.

I apologize if I sound insensitive to the other issues, but when she said “breast cancer doesn’t hurt” she crossed a line that NOBODY should.

Good luck and I hope your future team treats you better.

Between this and other things she said is there no way to just get HR involved instead of trying to go through supervisors? I realize that may also go nowhere but she really sounds like a pretty awful manager and the things she has said absolutely crossed a line like Steve said

That's exactly what it was. "After all I have done for you........"

I really didn't mean to make her cry though.

This is almost certainly a "control drama," as Celestine Prophecy refers to it. You create some sort of drama to take control of the situation.

In today's world, people do not hesitate to play the "poor me, I'm a victim" card. Some people only cry when they've screwed up, or you have them cornered. Most of the time, they're aggressive.

If she's rotten to you most of the time but cries when you confront her about it, she's almost certainly playing you. Bouncing back and forth between being hateful and being loving is one of the oldest manipulation tricks in the book. You push someone hard until they can't take it anymore, and they rebel. Then you back off, cry, and beg for sympathy. Once you gain control of the situation, you go back to being aggressive. Rinse and repeat.

I asked AI to explain this. Here is what it said:

When they are angry and aggressive, they may use intimidation, threats, or other tactics to get their way. They may use their anger to manipulate others into feeling guilty or afraid, which can make them more likely to comply with their demands.

On the other hand, when they are sad and easily hurt, they may use emotional blackmail to get what they want. They may try to make others feel sorry for them or guilty for not doing what they want. This can be a particularly effective tactic because it can make others feel like they are responsible for the manipulator's feelings and actions.

By constantly switching between these two emotional states, manipulative individuals keep their targets off balance and unsure of how to respond. This can make it harder for their targets to resist their manipulations, as they may feel like they are walking on eggshells around the manipulator.

I don't know your dispatcher or the conversations you've had, but from what you've shared with us, this was my first thought.

You’re absolutely NOT a failure and this would be a failure on their part to properly resolve the situation. I don’t think anyone thinks you’re just dissing on Prime or anything like that. Obviously you’ve enjoyed working for them for two years and it’s been worth it for you. It’s absolutely possible for them to be a great company overall and also not be handling this particular situation the way they should. It’s completely understandable for your conflicts with your dispatcher and the lack of proper resolution to be a deal breaker for you. I would probably feel the same

I can't believe they're not willing to move you to another dispatcher. Instead, they risk losing a great driver. In OTR especially you really need your dispatchers and drivers to get along great. Clearly you're not the only one who has an issue with the dispatcher. I find it shocking Prime hasn't handled it differently.

Please keep us updated on how things end up.

Young lady you are not the failure in this situation, these managers and supervisors at Prime are failing you.

You have put up with enough of it. Personally when you get into Sprinfield I would give them the option. Move me to another board or I’m leaving. You will have another job within a week. Your considered an experienced driver and although hiring has slowed, you will land another job quickly.

I have large companies emailing me weekly to come to work for them, and I’m not looking for a job.

I wish you all the best whatever you decide.

I’d definitely demand a new driver manager or whatever yours are referred to. I would also be stopping in the office to give that piece of s@@t a piece of my mind which would include a large slew of profanity. Nobody should be be continuously treating anyone that way and it seems as if it’s a common theme for this individual which the higher ups refuse to deal with. There comes a point where enough is enough and you’re allowed to defend yourself and speak your mind.

I’m aware my response is not the best advice but this is the kind of thing that really burns me up and I can’t stand seeing it happen.

This one is stinging a hell of a lot harder than it should.

Maybe it stings because you have a tough decision to make. I know lots of people are saying to give an ultimatum and I've been on both sides of the ultimatum. My suggestion is; don't make a threat unless you're prepared to go through with it, immediately.

Any company (trucking or otherwise) that isn't giving this kind of employee a reprimand, for the things she's said, is possibly setting themselves up for serious HR lawsuits. Imagine if a male had said breast cancer doesn't hurt. There's a big difference between tough love to get the job done, and abusive or hateful language. But, I digress.

Just be prepared to hand over the keys and walk away if you give 'em an ultimatum. She's lasted this long for some reason and they don't seem too concerned about it.

Again, just my opinion.

I made a decision, that may wind up being a short term solution. I have to laugh though. I just drove by the edge of a tornado, and the jackass behind me once we parked forgot to pull his brakes. So this "already sold" truck, dragging a trailer that is headed for repair, got rolled into by a fully loaded hay wagon. I am more than amused at how ballistic she will go tomorrow when she sees that I was rear ended. (I'm ok, no damage to me, the trailer, or truck) 🤣

Ultimately, I will be off her fleet, and on the board of the guy that my TNT trainer is running. It's not the best option ever, but it still keepse in a truck, in the game, with a company I'm "mostly" happy with. This will buy me time to make an actual decision, not one based in anger or grief. Suddenly she has been a heck of a lot more polite and fast in her QC messages though 🤣

This one is stinging a hell of a lot harder than it should.

Maybe it stings because you have a tough decision to make. I know lots of people are saying to give an ultimatum and I've been on both sides of the ultimatum. My suggestion is; don't make a threat unless you're prepared to go through with it, immediately.

Any company (trucking or otherwise) that isn't giving this kind of employee a reprimand, for the things she's said, is possibly setting themselves up for serious HR lawsuits. Imagine if a male had said breast cancer doesn't hurt. There's a big difference between tough love to get the job done, and abusive or hateful language. But, I digress.

Just be prepared to hand over the keys and walk away if you give 'em an ultimatum. She's lasted this long for some reason and they don't seem too concerned about it.

Again, just my opinion.