Wife Ethics As A New Trucker.

I recently graduated truck driving school through my local community college. I applied for a company OTR and got hired. My husband is also a truck driver but for a different company and he has expressed that he would only be comfortable with me being mentored by a female trainer.

Here’s the thing, the soonest I can get a female trainer is 8 months out but they have a male trainer available in a week. I personally don’t mind if it’s a male so I’m kind of inclined to just omit to my husband whether it’s a female or not.

I suppose my question is, how common is it really for mentors and trainees to end up engaged in “stuff” during several weeks of training OTR? I’m honestly usually just one to keep my head down and work towards my goals.

Is it just one of those technicalities where I should manage my expectations or should I just wait for a female.

Thanks for letting me waste your time for a probably common question.

Asking questions is never a waste of time! I think it is very important you are compassionate to your husband's concerns. Depending on the length of time you will be sharing a cab with a person of opposite sex, and the boundaries you set and maintain... I think will be the measure of your success or challenge. Hopefully you have ridden with your husband on his truck so you have an idea about what to expect? I want to share what made my 10 day trip with a stranger-male trainer good and what was most challenging. And a little about other female trainers. I was fortunate the trainer had set rules and this is what I remember:

We don't talk about politics, religion nor personal relationships.

He wakes up first and does his routine... put on work clothes boots, he used a spray deoderant... pew... but hey, whatever. He exited the truck and then it was my turn. I climbed off the bunk and got myself ready.

Really, that was about it on his end. He offered me great tips and spent a lot of his free time on the phone with his wife. I chose to eat separately from him with few exceptions. I respected his privacy was a good guest on his truck and gave him space. If I was not driving or sleeping I made a point to get off the truck. I didn't stay and chew the fat... we were cordial but not friends or buddies. This was business. He was just another step on my path. I would find a picnic table nearby and get on my phone with my boyfriend or catch up on news. It worked out great.

Because I had been in a mentor rider position prior I already understood any stops were to be quick and don't linger like a tourist... though it's tempting, and because I'm being graded... go above and beyond with pre-trip/post-trips/securement... driving posture... hands placement... hawking mirrors, stopping, following signs and road rules and speed accurately. That's a given, right?

So, to the challenge for me primarily was potty stops. He started giving me a nickname in a lighthearted way. The porta-potty inspector. I frequented a lot of them. I didn't do any of that business on his truck at all. NO. Also, my bladder was not trained yet for long runs. I think trainers understand this for the most part and likely plan for more stops when training. I also, kindof missed chatting and I'm not one to avoid taboo topics but due to the dynamics and risk of tension. My restraint was rewarded with a good experience. That guy was awesome!

I cannot say the same for my 1st and 2nd female trainer/mentors. The first seemed cool and she was... she smoked more than I could deal with even though I thought I could and I didn't realize how vulgar gangster rap is when she was open about it and I signed on... but the last straw for me was the frequent "dates" I was on the truck parked nearby and when I woke up with one sharing the bed under me... well that was too much and I made my exit which was tricky but maybe I'll write it in a book some day. The next female was a dear and we had amazing convos, about God and I soaked it a up, but as for the training she was like a school marm, cracking my knuckles with a ruler would not have been a surprise. But at least I wasn't insulted in word and deed like the previous. Riding with ladies. We had our ways of peeing privately if necessary and stops for other needs. Out of my three trainer experiences the one with the male mentor was best. I hope sharing this helps a little and you have a great experience. I'm on my 7th year as a solo company driver... and doing alright. Stay safe and see ya on the zipper! Peace.

Prev

I appreciate the reply, I figured I would drop in to share an update. I actually decided to take the male trainer and have just gotten my own truck.

Initially I was in between waiting for a female trainer or getting to train instantly with a male trainer. After speaking with a couple of family members and friends I was convinced not to tell my husband that the trainer was a male. I didn’t like being dishonest about it but I didn’t want to stress about it or have him worry the entire time I was training.

Training was to be 4-6 weeks but I did well enough that after 4 he said I was ready. I want sure what to expect. It turned out to be nothing like I expected.

The trainer was a single guy but he was very respectful. I would describe everything as not regulated as far as what to talk about. We discussed topics that of course would probably be something you shouldn’t discuss as a married person but it kept the stress levels in the air down and was all in good fun.

He was a wealth of information and made sure I knew what I was doing before clearing me to drive.

I came prepared for the “just in case” scenarios which honestly I had an open mind with. My family and friends are a bad influence in that aspect.

Now that I am in my own truck which happened to only have 857 miles on in total, I am super happy I got on when I did!