Haven't Been Active Much, Lots Of BS In My Life

Just want to say sorry for not being as active as I used to be. My life is just complicated right now.

I completed a 1950 mile trip in three days. Did three driving shifts of 650 miles three days in a row.

I got done with Ken and still trying to decide if I want to continue being an Instructor at Prime. I'm constantly going back and forth on that one.

The day after I got home we got the news that my wifes cousin got into a motorcycle accident and died. Apparently he was speeding (whats new?) on a motorcycle and lost control. Brushed against a tree and then slammed directly into a different tree. The tree is completely missing all its bark and even has a big red mark on it, pools of blood all over road. Not something we wanted to be a part of and definitely partially-ruined my hometime. Thank God it happened while I was home - my wife really needed me.

And lastly, I just found out that a little over a month ago my cousin got married. I just found out. And the best part is that I found out via Facebook. Yeah seriously, no one could at least text me the news? Or even invite me just to be polite? My family is a pain in the ass. But this is exactly what happens when you're out trucking. Everyone just sort of forgets about you. You become an outcast, the black sheep of the family. This is life for a trucker when you're always gone.

So yeah, like I said. Just hasn't been great for me lately. Always trying to find some time! Why does this kind of stuff always happen on my hometime?

Sorry to hear that man, god bless and stay safe out there.

Just want to say sorry for not being as active as I used to be. My life is just complicated right now.

I completed a 1950 mile trip in three days. Did three driving shifts of 650 miles three days in a row.

I got done with Ken and still trying to decide if I want to continue being an Instructor at Prime. I'm constantly going back and forth on that one.

The day after I got home we got the news that my wifes cousin got into a motorcycle accident and died. Apparently he was speeding (whats new?) on a motorcycle and lost control. Brushed against a tree and then slammed directly into a different tree. The tree is completely missing all its bark and even has a big red mark on it, pools of blood all over road. Not something we wanted to be a part of and definitely partially-ruined my hometime. Thank God it happened while I was home - my wife really needed me.

And lastly, I just found out that a little over a month ago my cousin got married. I just found out. And the best part is that I found out via Facebook. Yeah seriously, no one could at least text me the news? Or even invite me just to be polite? My family is a pain in the ass. But this is exactly what happens when you're out trucking. Everyone just sort of forgets about you. You become an outcast, the black sheep of the family. This is life for a trucker when you're always gone.

So yeah, like I said. Just hasn't been great for me lately. Always trying to find some time! Why does this kind of stuff always happen on my hometime?

See Daniel except for a few minor truck issues you have had it pretty easy so far. Now you are starting to see what happens when you are in the industry for long periods of time. What you described is stuff you will face over and over again throughout the years. I am not saying it gets easier. It doesn't.

Since being out on the road 16 years now I have had 2 sets of grandparents pass way and even had my mom go into the hospital with a minor stroke. Hard to get home when your 2500 miles a way.

Bad things like what you are experiencing and things like I have gone through are things you just have to accept that MIGHT happen while your out on the road. At least you were home this time but what about next time?

I am not trying to talk you out of trucking. Far from it. I just want you to think long and hard about it cause its something you will have to deal with in the future at some point.

Now on to training. I used to be a train at a different company as some may know. It's a tough gig. It takes a special person to be a trainer. I really can not give advice here because it's a very personal decision. Either you want to train and love it or you don't. It's your driving career and only YOU know what will make you happy.

Now onto missing out on stuff at home. It's not that you are being forgotten. They know you can't be there and drive at the same time. Now as bad as it may sound "They are learning to live with you gone." You want your family to be self sufficient and able to handle things when you are not there. It still hurts that you were not asked but they figured you could not make it so did not ask.

When they learn to live while you gone.....it's not a good thing or a bad thing. It just is. It's something that we all have to go through at different times throughout your driving career. They, your family, have not forgotten about you. They are surrounded by people everyday and those are the people they ask stuff of. I guarantee you that you are not forgotten. Your just not there. It's human nature to only ask those that have a possibility of giving you something that you want. And in this case you were gone on the road so was not asked to go to the wedding. Your not forgotten ,brother. Far from it.

Daniel any time you need any place just to have a sounding board feel free to come here and share. Believe me you will have our attention cause we have been there and done that also.

For anyone reading this. This post is exactly what we mean when talking about trucking being a lifestyle. This is a part of it. It's a sad part. Lonely part. But still a part of it nonetheless.

The way Daniel is feeling right is something you will go through many times throughout your driving career. It's not any fun at all. It's depressing. But you know what helps during times like these? Pickup the phone and call someone you are close to and before they say anything tell them you miss them and that you love them.

Tell them because it's a way of saying without saying it out right "Don't forget about me. Learn to live while I am gone but don't forget about me"

Sorry to hear about all the family problems and pray that things have gotten better. You were a big help to me and I thank you. Just remember you always have a family on TT to vent at. Remind friends and family that just because you drive does not mean that you don't exist and there is a phone and Skype if you can get service, and there is always the mail. People still like to get mail not just the junk. Have a safe trip where ever the road takes you and know you have friends on the road with you.

Man, that is a rough patch! Sorry to hear about all about man.

But this is exactly what happens when you're out trucking. Everyone just sort of forgets about you. You become an outcast

I talked a good bit about that in my book (free online version!). That's one of the toughest parts of the lifestyle of an OTR trucker - you simply don't play a role in the everyday lives of the people you care most about. At first you don't think a lot of it because it's all so new and you're so excited. Your family and friends can't wait to hear from you and find out how things are going.

But after a while they begin to assume you're fine and they turn their focus to more immediate matters and responsibilities. Over time everyone adapts to the new reality of not having you around and they go on without you. Like Guyjax said...they haven't forgotten you of course. But they just don't think about you when it comes to doing everyday things.

At the same time it's hard on drivers when they come home and realize that nobody they know can truly relate to what you're experiencing out on the road. People can't begin to imagine the life of an OTR driver. You can tell them stories day and night, but before long you realize they don't really know what on Earth you're talking about or feeling. That's why drivers tend to bond out on the road. It's so much easier to talk to people who live the same lifestyle you do.

I sure hope things go better for ya!

This is the part I already get...because I have always been the one that lived far away from everybody else in my family. If WE don't talk for awhile, it is obviously my fault for not calling home to check on each and every person. It's never on them to call me, nor is it ever on them to visit me. I have had family members in the hospital to find out WEEKS later and then they act like I should have known! So I completely empathize with anyone having to go through the learning curve on it.

So sorry to hear of the turmoil Daniel.

The being an instructor thing.... you are capable of teaching. It really comes down to accepting that you will start over with another student every 4-5 weeks, constantly taking on a newbie.......who knows next to nothing along with the personality attached to him. Especially that first week has to be very stressful as those first live moments on the road take place. I like teaching and I know at some point I could teach this, but I'm not sure I want to because it means giving up my space and comfort zone and having to center my time around it on a job that already makes off time a challenge when there is family back home (and I don't have a wife and kids waiting on me).

Getting used to life in a truck and the lifestyle that goes with it is one thing. Adding students to it is a whole new world. I have already heard so much about the conflicts of personalities, personal hygiene habits, anger issues, work habits, etc. I want my license and a truck and loads to deliver. The rest will be about seeing just how much I can coordinate loads to take me to places I want to go and along the way. The personal life things are my call with no interference from someone else living in the same truck. That's a lot to give up, at least it is to me at age 56. But, I have learned to never say never. Just when I do, I end up doing exactly that.........

I remember saying, "Being a trucker is the last job I'd ever take!" And you know what? It just may be the last job I ever take!!! So who knows...

I know this though Daniel....you will do well at what you choose. Your work ethic is awesome and you are a very talented young man. It was a great pleasure to meet you and I would have considered it an honor to have you as an instructor. Be well and be safe!

Man don't feel bad... My younger brother had 2 boys that I had met and enjoyed thoroughly. Well the marriage did not last and she remarried, moving to the east coast. Well to make a long story short, my niece was 5 years old before I found out about her. So being left out is nothing new to me.

Hate to hear that Daniel. Hope your next home time goes a lot smoother for you. Stay strong and stay safe.