Wondering If I've Made A Mistake...

Dustin, you mentioned that you just turned twenty eight, Happy Birthday! That's a day that you always enjoy being with your family, and I've a feeling that it just made your already apprehensive feelings more acute. Getting your new career off to a start is a tough job, we've all done it and have all shared your concerns and experienced your emotions. I'm a flat-bedder - you know the kind of truck driver that's supposed to be tough guy, well I'm gonna tell you a secret: if you had been driving on the road beside my truck on the right days you would have seen big old tears rolling down my face because I was missing my wife and family so bad that I couldn't hold them back.

Well said sir!

I've had a few of those "miss the family" tears while driving. They are hard to keep back at times. especially when your driving down the hwy and see a family in a mini van laughing and talking, and all you think about for the rest of the day is how that could be you.. Its another draw back...

I would like to say I know where you are coming from so far as family goes but I cant. Never been married and my son (my dog) is on the truck with me and my brother. So my family is right here with me. The rest of my family has learned I do my own thing and we TALK on the phone and Facebook and on Skype and text. This is the key to dealing with missing family members.

You say you call her one a day and I ask why? To help with missing her call her 4 to 5 times a day. She either will love it or you will get on her nerves. Lol. But seriously. Whenever you think of her pick up the phone and call her. Text her. Communicate with her at all possible times. And this next part might get ya in trouble but even call her in the middle of the night just to say "I love you and miss you". Trust me it will be much easier on you.

Your fears and anxiety are normal for this phase of your trucking career. You will want to quit and run hundreds of times in the next few months. Seriously. I quit everyday and rehire back on when it's my time to drive. It's just a mental game really but it's a way of remaining sane. Towards the end of your training you will start to relax a bit more as you become more comfortable behind the wheel and as your skills grow and THEN they rip away your trainer and then it's just you to make all the decisions about the truck. I call it the Adult stage of trucking when you get out on your own.

Years ago when I first started driving my hands used to sweat everytime I got behind the wheel. I was afraid of making a mistake. All drivers go through this. Then one day , about 6 or 7 months , of driving I noticed that my hands were not sweating and I was relaxed. I started sleeping better. Why? I finally decided to stop worry about the things I could not control. I knew I was not go to hit anyone and I could not control other people and what they do. That's not to say I was not watchful and I learned how to read traffic patterns and knew what other people were going to do even before they knew they wanted to do it.

There is really no big secret out here. Those of us that have been out here for years have learned to cope and deal with situations the best we can and learn to let the little things go.

You have a job to do. You are the man of the house and provider for your family. Now it's your job to make sure that you stick it out at least a year. That will help you with a few things. Pay off your loan for school. Get the much needed experience so you can get a driving job that gets you home more often. I know it's cliché but it still applies "Suck it up buttercup". People back home are depending on you and just getting this far says alot. Do you know that thousands of people wish they made it has far as you have?

So what if driving OTR is not want you want to do the rest of your life? Do it for a year or so then look for something more local. Once you go solo your will be able to bring your wife on the truck with you.

I always say give trucking a year to see if it's for you.

I'm 32 and I've got two kids back home and a GF, when I first started out she was just pregnant but I know the feeling but I assure you if you hang in there and do what you need to do. You'll be Thankful later on, look for companies that offer better home time. My company can get you home once a week but I prefer not to be home that often.

I really appreciate all the encouragement guys. It's a great feeling knowing that I'm not insane, and I know that you guys are right. I am proud of myself for making it this far, especially as it's something so far outside my comfort zone. I'm hoping that once training is done that it'll get better for me, that I'll figure more out on my own and learn that I really can do this. Again, many thanks. I'm humbled at the amount of support I've received here today from all of you.

I really appreciate all the encouragement guys. It's a great feeling knowing that I'm not insane, and I know that you guys are right. I am proud of myself for making it this far, especially as it's something so far outside my comfort zone. I'm hoping that once training is done that it'll get better for me, that I'll figure more out on my own and learn that I really can do this. Again, many thanks. I'm humbled at the amount of support I've received here today from all of you.

It's who we are here. To provide a stable base on an uncertain path. When some of us got started years ago we did not have any support system. We stumbled along the best way we could. We hope to make it easier for new people getting into truck and answer questions as they come up. So instead of waiting days or weeks to find out the thing you need to know now you can do it it a matter of minutes and hours.

Stick it out Brother, you can do it! A year is nothing in the grand scheme of things. I'll be right there with you in a few more weeks.....BTW don't you just love this forum? What a bunch of rock solid human beings.

I really appreciate all the encouragement guys. It's a great feeling knowing that I'm not insane, and I know that you guys are right. I am proud of myself for making it this far, especially as it's something so far outside my comfort zone. I'm hoping that once training is done that it'll get better for me, that I'll figure more out on my own and learn that I really can do this. Again, many thanks. I'm humbled at the amount of support I've received here today from all of you.

That's the spirit, Dustin. Take the challenges one step at a time as they come, communicate with your wife and family as often as you can, and keep your "eye on the prize", so to speak. Keep things in perspective, mainly that this is a relatively short term sacrifice that will help you and your family be in a better position over the long run. As others have stated, with a little experience under your belt you'll eventually be able to get a gig closer to home and even be able to take your wife on the road once in a while if it works out for both of you to do so. The main thing is to just focus on the things that are within your control in the "here and now" and not build walls for yourself that aren't actually there. You've got this!

One thing you might keep in mind is to not unload too much of your emotions/anxieties onto your wife. She has a whole different set of emotions and anxieties; not to mention fears, while trying to adjust to this thing just as you are. Give her the encouragement and support you have also received from these fine people. I'm only in the 'considering-a-career' stage myself and I would like to thank you for your honesty and transparency. I am 57, single, 5 grandchildren and a HUGE family mostly all within 20 miles here in the Kansas City metropolitan area, and I have truly debated whether I can leave for long periods without seeing them. But, this particular post has GREATLY encouraged me. Besides, today, unlike any time in the past, we have Facebook, Twitter, Skype, texting, etc.

A special thanks to Brett Aquila for this site and the company he keeps. I feel like I'm starting to get to know some-a-ya'll!