Slight Change In Plans

Thanks for letting me vent about this situation. It's better than dumping it on my family or my coworkers, since y'all can just skip my posts if you don't like it. They all have to live with me when I'm grumpy. And now I'm not, so you've helped a stranger today.

Bud A.

No problem what-so-ever, Dude. This place is a cool way to keep work at work and home at home. I thiiiiiiink this type of character has what is known in the psychiatric community as Borderline Personality Disorder. It's such a strange term but I think it refers to their being borderline or almost psychotic. One of their main issues or the main issue is that they have no self-affirmation in their psyche so they have to cause everyone to react to their requests, actions, assertions, etc., in order to get affirmation that they are worthy. As long as they have everyone running around reacting to all the drama they cause, then they feel validated. To everyone else, it feels like they are control freaks and to a certain extend they are but inside, I think they feel completely out of control, lalala. Causing everyone to react, alleviates that inner anxiety by projecting it on to others while their only sense of "self" comes from others and having others "hooked" into their tangled web. If they "have" that person somehow in their control, through their chaos, then they have a sense of who they are, which is not themselves, but everyone around them. It's like, they are not who they are as a person, rather they are who they are, as everyone else. That's ill. There's a really helpful book out called, "Walking on Eggshells" which offers assistance and understanding, helping others around this type of person deal with him or her.

It really gets under their skin when they can't get under yours.

Jay B.

You know, it really does and this is the sick part of it: when they have you in the throws of their drama, it calms them as your involvement in their "stuff" affirms them because ...you... are part of who they think they are. I wouldn't really care except for the fact that their drama causes so much angst.

-mountain girl

Whatever label you want to throw at the guy and make stick then go for it, but for me I could not, would not, should not and WILL NOT deal with those type of people. He would be the type that I would have to take down a notch or two then try to deal with them. I don't deal well at all with people on power trips. Yell at me or cause drama in my life.... Well just don't do it. It's not healthy for you. I can take a lot of stuff thrown at me but power tripping people or psychotic personallites... Well just no.

Bud,

I am in the EXACT same situation with my job now. My boss handles things just like this, and I've been banging my head against a brick wall for the past four months trying to figure out how to deal with it. I tried every approach I could think of to resolve the situation, but nothing worked. I am still learning how to deal with people like this. I finally made the decision that I gotta do what is best for me and turned in my letter of resignation. I have four more days left at this job. Man, I am counting the hours!

I just don't respond well to fear tactics. Does anybody? I never understood that mentality. I would think you would get more out of your employees by recognizing their strengths and using positive reinforcement, just like with kid and pets. Give them incentives to reach goals instead of threatening them. So many companies don't approach it that way, though.

Kudos to you, Bud, for being a stand up guy. Prime will be lucky to have you.

Whatever label you want to throw at the guy and make stick then go for it, but for me I could not, would not, should not and WILL NOT deal with those type of people. He would be the type that I would have to take down a notch or two then try to deal with them. I don't deal well at all with people on power trips. Yell at me or cause drama in my life.... Well just don't do it. It's not healthy for you. I can take a lot of stuff thrown at me but power tripping people or psychotic personallites... Well just no.

Ditto. I have dealt with that in the past and, well, no more. I am a nice guy (so I'm told) but, I will instantly turn vicious on a psychopath like that dude.

It could be worse. you all could have been a school bus driver like me the last 2 years so instead of crappy bosses you have 50 kids on the bus screaming at you how terrible you are... hahahha im kidding. i loved my job. but it did have its days. Dont worry about the delay. As you can see if you look to the left i have been a member of this site for over a year but i barley graduated from CDL school 2 weeks ago. My delay more had to do with backlash from family (I was 22.. so although i am an adult parents and family opinion is still very influencing at this age.) long story short they convinced me to stay in school. so i stayed in college another year took at 5k more worth of student loans now i have a piece of paper for a 2 year degree in liberal arts. which just basically means i went to school. I actually dont even have a paper.. its all electronic and if i want it i have to pay money and they will send it to me. ANYWAYS i hated it and after this last semester i said screw it im becoming a truck driver. so i did.

Thanks again to everyone for replying. He showed up today, but the wheels of justice are grinding in both organizations up above my level, and I can tell from the sound of it that it's over for him. One of his minions sent like ten "big problems" today (usually might get that many in two or three weeks), but that person is probably next to go. My team seems relieved that I'm sticking it out a little longer, so that's worth it in itself.

I don't think I'm any different than anyone else in not having tolerance for this stuff. Problem is this guy could've gotten me or people on my team fired, and had actually asked for one of my guys to be fired just before all the stuff hit the fan for him. I've learned that sometimes when dealing with people like this it's better to keep your mouth shut so their mouth has a better chance to get them in trouble. I doubt I'll think of him again once I'm gone. I have better things to think about, like how to learn to float gears and back a big rig into a tight space and riding my bike up a mountain sometimes when I get a chance.

Thanks again to everyone for replying. He showed up today, but the wheels of justice are grinding in both organizations up above my level, and I can tell from the sound of it that it's over for him. One of his minions sent like ten "big problems" today (usually might get that many in two or three weeks), but that person is probably next to go. My team seems relieved that I'm sticking it out a little longer, so that's worth it in itself.

I don't think I'm any different than anyone else in not having tolerance for this stuff. Problem is this guy could've gotten me or people on my team fired, and had actually asked for one of my guys to be fired just before all the stuff hit the fan for him. I've learned that sometimes when dealing with people like this it's better to keep your mouth shut so their mouth has a better chance to get them in trouble. I doubt I'll think of him again once I'm gone. I have better things to think about, like how to learn to float gears and back a big rig into a tight space and riding my bike up a mountain sometimes when I get a chance.

You'll learn how to float gears when you get your license. Until then, you'll be double-clutching.

You'll learn how to float gears when you get your license. Until then, you'll be double-clutching.

Got it. I have driven many manual transmission cars and a couple of straight trucks, but never had to double-clutch. Guess I have more videos to watch until school starts.

You'll learn how to float gears when you get your license. Until then, you'll be double-clutching.

Got it. I have driven many manual transmission cars and a couple of straight trucks, but never had to double-clutch. Guess I have more videos to watch until school starts.

Believe it or not, but that is actually going to hurt you. You've developed bad habits because of driving a manual car/straight truck. Pushing the clutch all the way is second nature to you. Unfortunately, you can't double clutch pushing it down all the way. You'll need to unlearn your bad habit before you can learn how to shift a truck.

I have personal experience with this. My student had years of driving manual and straight truck and it was hell to unteach him his habits. It takes a long time to reprogram your brain.

You'll get it in no time. Double-clutching is fun.

-mountain girl