OMG. WHEN Are The Mistakes Going To End?

Thanks, Terry. You pegged me to a T. I'm a perfectionist and a chronic over-analyst. Iew. What an awful combination. The day I overloaded the nose of that trailer, I almost turned in my keys to the terminal manager. No harm done. Just a dumb mistake.

You know, sometimes when "they" put you in "jail," it's a good thing. I know they're testing my mettle, to see if I either quit or get tougher. The truth is, I've been quite relieved to be out of the city and on the dock for this time. I needed to get away from the stress so I could "re-set" my brain. Sometimes being at the bottom of the totem pole is a nice break from so much responsibility. I've been in positions of leadership and trust before and they come with the price of being the one responsible for everything around them. For now, it's just cardboard pieces of donnage, stacked one on top of the other, for as high as I can reach, shrink wrap, and move them out of the way, on a fork.

This job is 99% mental. All your points are dead-on accurate and I'll be a better driver because of what I've learned.

I won't lose my seniority as a driver, I'm getting the same hourly pay, and instead of firing me right off the bat, they've put me in jail for a while. No biggie and I'm damned glad they're giving me another chance. This is where I love this company.

It's a relief.

I'm a perfectionist and a chronic over-analyst. Iew. What an awful combination.

You know, sometimes when "they" put you in "jail," it's a good thing. I know they're testing my mettle, to see if I either quit or get tougher.

This job is 99% mental. All your points are dead-on accurate and I'll be a better driver because of what I've learned.

It's a relief.

Couple things here:

I'm a perfectionist and a chronic over-analyst. Iew. What an awful combination

It's NOT an awful combination. It IS, in all seriousness, a "gift." You're cognitive and intelligent. Two very redeeming traits. I'm the exact same way. When you learn to embrace this and use it, wonderful things will happen. I've come a very long way in my life trying to rid myself of pessimism and negative thinking and I still have a long way to go. Looking at things "outside the box" is very helpful. So let's put this thought into work with your next quote;

You know, sometimes when "they" put you in "jail," it's a good thing. I know they're testing my mettle, to see if I either quit or get tougher

. Instead of looking at this as "putting you in jail," maybe we can look at it this way. They are allowing you to take a little time away from driving to work through a mental block while at the same time not forcing you into time off. (unpaid) At first glance this may seem like a punishment but in all actuality it is very helpful. It's a fact that if you get into an accident/incident, you're more likely to have another one soon after. This holds true especially to people, like us, that don't like to forgive our own mistakes.

Lastly there's this:

This job is 99% mental. All your points are dead-on accurate and I'll be a better driver because of what I've learned.

Life is 99% mental. Having a good attitude is key. You already have a GREAT attitude towards things, with just a little room for "tweaks" as I see it. You're 100% right, you WILL be a better driver if you put what you've learned into practice from here on out.

I'll end with this. I am by no means a psychiatrist or a Licensed clinical social worker but I did stay at a Holiday Inn Express last night. I'm certainly not trying to imply that you are wrong with your thinking. All I'm trying to do is point out that you can ease the stress on yourself by trying to "sugar coat" the way you look at it. I've watched your posts since coming here and you have overcome some amazing adversity to be where you're at right now. I hate to see you struggle with a set back or two if there is any way I may be able to help. If what I'm telling you is offending you, I apologize. The topic of your thread is "OMG When are the mistakes going to end?" The answer to that is NEVER. But you can lessen them by not dwelling on them as I said earlier by living in the present and not in the past and future. And this I can honestly say I have lots of experience with at 45 years old and living years of my life dwelling on the "shoulda, woulda, coulda's." I still have issues with stress, but nowhere near to the degree I had before I started looking at things outside the box. And that is what is so wonderful about the community here at TT. There is a wealth of knowledge and wisdom to learn from here. Every one of the moderators here have something valuable to learn from. (except Daniel when he's trying to tell people I love Tupac) If I've overstepped my bounds here, again my apologies. Again I'm not trying to talk "down" to you at all. I am no better than you and am just another random dude out here with too much to say at times. Good luck MG!!

Nah-nah-nahhh. No offense taken what-so-ever. And Daniel can be a goof. Wise beyond his years but a goof just the same. lol. Just playin', Daniel.

And don't worry 'bout my attitude. One manager in charge of cleaning up the claims and improving the way the loaders have been loading the trailers asked me why I was on the dock and we both had a good laugh over how I'd run out of "get out of jail cards," like I was a character in Monopoly. I was just using that expression as my way of dealing with it. Humor.

I'm glad you've emphasized one's vulnerability to successive accidents following a first one that you're still upset about. That's an extremely valid and powerful point.

The terminal manager said that at my rate, I was patterned to have several more accidents this year ...(if they didn't stop me by breaking the cycle).

Like I said earlier, I KNEW I was ready to get out of my truck for a while (I was just short of quitting) and they're being extremely cool about allowing me to continue to work rather than sending me home for this whole time (or firing me). Besides: the dock guys are the most fun group to work with in the terminal, probably because they have some of the toughest work to do and almost all of them have a great sense of humor about it. This is a very social terminal and company, and everything I'm getting with this time away from driving is just what I needed. You're right. Besides: nobody shrink wraps stacks of cardboard better than mountain girl. After all: it's gift wrap, not shrink wrap.

You've said some really awesome stuff here today.

Thank you so much, Terry.

-mountain girl

Old School,

Thank you for all your kind words and encouragement. They mean a lot.

-mountain girl

Jolie,

Thank you for your kind words. Hope you're doing great and staying out of trouble.

-mountain girl

Jolie,

Thank you for your kind words. Hope you're doing great and staying out of trouble.

-mountain girl

Hey chickie, everything is going pretty well. Left Roehl for Marten because they had a local position that will get me home everyday if I want, and it had a flat rate of pay plus miles. The account is new for Marten so there is definitely a learning curve for everyone (dm's, drivers, and supervisors) but the pay is very good and it is nice to have both Saturday and Sunday off unless I chose to volunteer for weekend work. I am sooo much better at backing than I was when I first started and know I will continue to get better as time goes on. I am definitely glad I left working in an office to drive a truck!!! I am healthier and happier than I have been in years so it has been a good chnage. Keep your chin up and believe in yourself and your abilities. I don't know if you are old enough to remember Helen Ready's song I Am Woman....if you are keep it in mind, and if you aren't look it up on You Tube. It is my anthem!!!!

Jolie, I think I just heard you "roar"!

Silly, silly song. lol. I looked up the lyrics. Glad you're doing so well. No ... "roaring" is not exactly my thing; nor is "proving" myself as a woman, but I get what you're saying. lol. It's all good. You're tough. I can tell.

What a name: Helen Ready... IS she? lol.

-mountain girl

Hey there Mountain Girl, just want to send you some encouragement!! I love that you posted this, being aware of your mistakes, the reasons, and looking at all the positivity. I think we all need to think the same way you are. Keep it up!!

What a name: Helen Ready... IS she? lol.

-mountain girl

Jolie, looks like we've run into a generation gap!

(I get it all the time with my name: "Errol ... like in Flynn".)